yourad "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Announcements fxWIPE "Announcements" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp Announcements Go Back to Announcements Your Ad can appear in the pages of ModemNews Magazine. Whether you run a Commercial BBS or a computer related business. If you are Intel, IBM, or Apple Corporation, we have the space for you. Our rates are amazingly affordable, and we can work out just about anything you have in mind. For more information contact ModemNews Magazine at our BBS: 203 359.2299 Call us Voice at: 203 969.1183 Or write to us at: ModemNews Magazine 116 Dean Street Suite B Stamford, CT 069022 office ButtonUp "picture" ButtonUp ButtonUp picture Show Picture Just in case anyone was wondering, this is a photograph of our ModemNews Offices! You can see our BBS on the extreme left, then the 386 that produces this magazine. In the corner is our QMS - PS\410 laser printer and next to it to on the right is our MAC SE/30 with the SyQuest Drive and the NEC Mac/Sync 14" color monitor.. Announcements fxWIPE "Announcements" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp Announcements Go Back to Announcements picture buttonUp buttonUp :PHYSSIZE announcements 1 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Warnings! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! There is a file being circulated on BBS's called PKZ201.ZIP or PKZ201.EXE or similar, and that claims to be version 2.01 of PKZIP but in fact is a hacked version of PKZIP 1.93 Alpha. As of the date of this writing, the latest version of PKZIP is version 1.10. If you see the files PKZ201.ZIP or PKZ201.EXE on any BBS or on-line system, please ask the SysOp of that system to remove the files IMMEDIATELY, and please contact PKWARE to report where the files were seen. Of course, because of this PKWARE will never release a version of PKZIP with the version number 2.01. If you have any information about the source of PKZ201.EXE or PKZ201.ZIP, please report it to PKWARE immediately, either: by Voice at 414-354-8699 by BBS at 414-354-8670 by FAX at 414-354-8559 or by mail: PKWARE Inc. 9025 N. Deerwood Drive Brown Deer, WI 53223 USA Sincerely, Phil Katz President, PKWARE Inc. fxWIPE "announcements" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp announcements Return to Announcements standpop We bring this to you as a public service. If you are aware of anything that we should place here, please do not hesitate to let us know about it! editorials 1 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Dear Readers, May 1st will bring you the 39th Issue of ModemNews Magazine and it will be released in the following formats. We would like your comments. MNEWS39.EXE Our original DOS ANSI version of ModemNews Magazine and REQUIRED for all DOS based NewsStands, and optional for others. This edition is the only one that can be sent via RelayNet autosend each month. MNEWS39.CPT Our Macintosh edition and REQUIRED for all MAC based NewsStands. Optional for others, though we would hope you would not leave your MAC users out of this. MNTBK39.ZIP ModemNews for Windows! Created using Asymetrix Toolbook v1.5. This edition will need the Toolbook runtime module v1.5 that can be downloaded as RTBOOK15.ZIP from our BBS. This edition is optional for NewsStands, though we would hope you would start to carry it on a regular basis in addition to the ANSI edition. MNTEXT39.ZIP The TEXT files from the articles that will appear in the above editions of ModemNews. This edition is created for those who use computer platforms that cannot make use of any of the other editions, such as the Amiga and CoCo. This is, of course, optional. We would like to continue bringing you ModemNews in as many different formats as we can so that we, and you, can reach the widest possible audience. -------------------------------------------------------------------------here is a file being circulated on BBS's called PKZ201.ZIP or PKZ201.EXE or similar, and that claims to be version 2.01 of PKZIP but in fact is a hacked version of PKZIP 1.93 Alpha. As of the date of this writing, the latest version of PKZIP is version 1.10. If you see the files PKZ201.ZIP or PKZ201.EXE on any BBS or on-line system, please ask the SysOp of that system to remove the files IMMEDIATELY, and please contact PKWARE to report where the files were seen. Of course, because of this PKWARE will never release a version of PKZIP with the version number 2.01. If you have any information about the source of PKZ201.EXE or PKZ201.ZIP, please report it to PKWARE immediately, either: by Voice at 414-354-8699 by BBS at 414-354-8670 by FAX at 414-354-8559 or by mail: PKWARE Inc. 9025 N. Deerwood Drive Brown Deer, WI 53223 USA Sincerely, Phil Katz President, PKWARE Inc. ------------------------------- The Staff of ModemNews Magazine BBS 203 359.2299 fxWIPE "editorials" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp editorials Back to Comments... fillers "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Fillers mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "fillers_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp fillers_1 Bad Detective Story #1 fxWIPE "fillers_2" buttonUp buttonUp fillers_2 on Dreamsreatise fxWIPE "fillers_3" buttonUp buttonUp fillers_3 Del Freeman fillpop Whatever does not fit anywhere else in this magazine goes in here. It is a catch-all for those things we just cannot identify. What will you find here from month to month? We'll never tell. Of course...some of your own stuff could be in these pages. 'nuf said...... Understand UAE's (from Microsoft) fillers editorials 1 fillers_1 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One ============================================================ Microsoft Product Support Services Application Note (Text File) WW0524: TROUBLESHOOTING GP FAULTS (UAEs) ============================================================ Revision Date: 3/92 No Disk Included The following information applies to Microsoft Windows version 3.1. INFORMATION PROVIDED IN THIS DOCUMENT AND ANY SOFTWARE THAT MAY ACCOMPANY THIS DOCUMENT (collectively referred to as an Application Note) IS PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND/OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. The user assumes the entire risk as to the accuracy and the use of this Application Note. This Application Note may be copied and distributed subject to the following conditions: 1) All text must be copied without modification and all pages must be included; 2) If software is included, all files on the disk(s) must be copied without modification [the MS-DOS(R) utility DISKCOPY is appropriate for this purpose]; 3) All components of this Application Note must be distributed together; 4) This Application Note may not be distributed for profit. Copyright 1992 Microsoft Corporation. All Rights Reserved. Microsoft, MS-DOS, and the Microsoft logo are registered trademarks and Windows is a trademark of Microsoft Corporation. -------------------------------------------------------------------- WHAT IS A GENERAL PROTECTION (GP) FAULT? ======================================== A general protection (GP) fault in Windows 3.1 (referred to as an unrecoverable application error [UAE] in Windows 3.0) occurs only in standard and 386 enhanced mode Windows. A GP fault signifies that something unexpected has happened within the Windows environment, usually an improper memory access. In other words, something running within the Windows environment has made a call to a location in memory that it did not have access to, potentially overwriting and corrupting other program code in that area of memory. More specifically, an application or Windows component might read or write to a memory location that it has not been preallocated, or memory that it does not "own." All memory management within Windows is handled by the Windows environment itself, and when applications and Windows components directly access memory, the result is often a GP fault. Another situation where a GP fault may occur involves the passing of parameters between applications and the Windows environment. Invalid parameters affect the performance of Windows and its applications by forcing an invalid instruction. This is usually the result of an application's internal program code incorrectly passing specific data that could not be correctly interpreted for Windows or another Windows application. The result is often a GP fault. What Is A System Integrity Violation? ------------------------------------- The message referring to the violation of system integrity indicates a general protection violation, or the equivalent of a GP fault that is caused by an MS-DOS-based application. Similar to the GP fault, the system integrity violation indicates that an MS-DOS application is accessing memory that does not belong to that specific application. Since Windows is managing memory in this situation, the MS-DOS application's memory access will often corrupt Windows program code or vital data. The result is an application execution error generated from Windows reporting that the "application has violated system integrity due to an invalid general protection fault and will be terminated." This message can also occur when an MS-DOS-based application has tried to directly access a system's hardware component. How Does Windows 3.1 Handle A GP Fault? --------------------------------------- A new feature of Windows 3.1 called parameter validation allows Windows to check for invalid parameters passed between Windows and applications running in the Windows environment. Windows 3.1 is also designed to better manage and maintain which applications "own" specific memory locations and system resources. As a result, Windows 3.1 is more capable of recovering a particular application's RAM memory and system resources. If you do see a GP fault message while running Windows 3.1, the message will provide specific information about which applications and Windows components were running at the time of the error, and where the error occurred. Depending on the severity of the GP fault, Windows 3.1 can continue to run the application that caused the fault, allowing you to save your work before exiting the application. You can also use Dr. Watson, a program provided with Windows 3.1, to learn more about the cause of the GP fault. Local Restart ------------- Depending on the severity of a GP fault in Windows 3.1, you can press CTRL+ALT+DEL to display information concerning the system integrity and/or information concerning the application that caused the fault. The severity of a GP fault can be measured by how well an application functions within the Windows environment after the fault has occurred. If CTRL+ALT+DEL is pressed when a less severe fault occurs, the following message appears on the screen: System has either become busy or has become unstable - Press any key to return to Windows and wait - Press CTRL+ALT+DEL again to restart your computer (all unsaved information will be lost) If CTRL+ALT+DEL is pressed when a more severe fault occurs, this message will appear: This Windows application has stopped responding to the system - Press ESC to cancel and return to Windows - Press ENTER to close this application (all unsaved information will be lost) - Press CTRL+ALT+DEL again to restart your computer (all unsaved information will be lost) Troubleshooting GP Faults ------------------------- 1. If you are running Windows in standard or 386 enhanced mode, check to see if you are running an application that was designed for an earlier version (2.x) of Windows. If an application has not been properly designed to function correctly under Windows protected mode, it will cause an error. If an application is designed for Windows versions 2.0, 2.03, 2.1, and 2.11, the application will generate a dialog box when executed that advises you of this error. Such applications should be run only under Windows 3.0 real mode, as the dialog box suggests. Since real mode is not available in Windows 3.1, contact the application's manufacturer for possible workarounds or to obtain an upgrade of the software. 2. Check for incompatible terminate-and-stay-resident (TSR) programs or unsupported device drivers in your CONFIG.SYS or AUTOEXEC.BAT file. Temporarily comment out all lines relating to suspect drivers and TSR programs to bring the system to a minimum configuration for testing purposes. (To comment out a line, use a text editor such as Notepad, open the AUTOEXEC.BAT or CONFIG.SYS file, and type "rem" (without the quotation marks) at the beginning of the line.) If this eliminates the problem, then the problem was related to one of the drivers or TSR programs that was commented out. Reinstate the removed lines one by one until the problem reappears, thus showing which line was loading the TSR program or driver causing to the error. Minimum MS-DOS configuration for Windows versions 3.0 and 3.1: CONFIG.SYS AUTOEXEC.BAT -------------------------------------------------------------------- files=50 path c:\;c:\dos;c:\windows buffers=30 prompt $p$g device=c:\[path]\himem.sys set temp=c:\ stacks=9,256 (Windows 3.1 only) NOTE: Before modifying these files, make sure you don't comment out lines pertaining to other hardware-specific device drivers, such as Stacker, extended memory boards, third-party disk partitioning programs, and so on. If you do not know the purpose of a line in your CONFIG.SYS or AUTOEXEC.BAT file, leave that line as is. 3. Try different machine switches for the HIMEM.SYS device driver in your CONFIG.SYS file. HIMEM.SYS is used to access the high memory area (HMA), which is the first 64K of extended memory (1024K-1088K). HIMEM.SYS is also the default device driver Windows uses to access extended memory in standard and 386 enhanced modes. HIMEM.SYS accesses the HMA through the A20 line of memory, and uses what are known as A20 "handlers" to do this. The method used to access the HMA depends on the system, so the A20 handler needed for this access varies as well. HIMEM.SYS follows a certain routine at load time to determine which A20 handler is appropriate for your machine. Unfortunately, some nonstandard machines do not respond to the tests that HIMEM.SYS administers during its routine, which can result in the wrong A20 handler being selected. Using the incorrect A20 handler can result in everything from the machine stopping when HIMEM.SYS loads to erratic Windows performance. The /MACHINE switch is used to gain control of the A20 line by forcing HIMEM.SYS to use a particular handler. The handler numbers range from 1-16, and 18. For most 100- percent-compatible machines, one of the compatible /M:1, /M:11, /M:12, and /M:13 A20 handler switches will work. Although other switches are intended for use with certain hardware, one of these other switches may be required for proper operation on certain machines if the standard switches do not work. It is recommended that you check your most current MS-DOS or Windows manual for more information about using the /MACHINE switch with HIMEM.SYS. An example of this statement in the CONFIG.SYS file is as follows: device=c:[\path]\himem.sys /machine:1 -or- device=c:[\path]\himem.sys /m:1 NOTE: When you are testing to see which A20 handler is appropriate, make sure you have a system (startup) MS-DOS disk with an ASCII text editor (such as MS-DOS Edit or Edlin), because some A20 handlers will cause your machine to stop. 4. Check to see if an incorrect machine and/or network was selected while installing Windows. Some machines and networks require you to override the default detection made by Windows Setup and make a specific selection. If the correct selection is not made, Windows will not operate correctly, or a GP fault may occur. Machines that must be specifically selected in Windows Setup include the following: Windows Machine 3.0 3.1 --------------------------------------------------- AST: all 80386- and 80486-based machines X X AT&T PC X AT&T NSX 20: Safari Notebook X Everex Step 386/25 (or compatible) X X Hewlett-Packard: all machines X X IBM PS/2 Model 70P X IBM PS/2 Model L40sx X Intel 386SL-based system with APM X MS-DOS system with APM X NCR: all 80386- and 80486-based machines X NCR PC386sx X X NCR PC 925 X NEC PowerMate SX Plus X X NEC ProSpeed 386 X X Toshiba 1200XE X Toshiba 1600 X X Toshiba 5200 X X Zenith: all 80386-based machines X X Networks that must be specifically selected in Windows Setup include the following: Windows Network 3.0 3.1 -------------------------------------------------------------- 3Com 3+Open LAN Manager (XNS only) X 3Com 3+Open X 3Com 3+Share X X Artisoft LANtastic X Banyan VINES 4.0 X X DEC Pathworks X IBM OS/2 Lan Server X IBM PC LAN Program X X LAN Manager versions 1.x (or 100-percent compatible) X X LAN Manager 2.0 (or 100-percent compatible) X X LAN Manager 2.1 (or 100-percent compatible) X Novell NetWare X TCS 10NET X If you did not choose your machine or network specifically during Setup, you should exit Windows and run the MS-DOS version of Setup from the WINDOWS directory. This will allow you to make the proper selection without having to completely reinstall Windows. 5. A third-party Windows device driver may not be functioning properly. Run the MS-DOS version of the Windows Setup program and select the lowest level configuration of drivers for the listed hardware devices. A good troubleshooting technique is to configure Windows through Setup for the minimum necessary hardware devices. When troubleshooting GP faults, only standard Windows device drivers are recommended. For example: Display: EGA or VGA, depending on video type (systems with VGA cards/monitors can usually use EGA) Mouse: No mouse or other pointing device Network: No network installed 6. Check for unsupported third-party drivers in the Windows SYSTEM.INI or WIN.INI files. Temporarily comment out all lines relating to suspect third-party drivers to bring Windows to a minimum configuration for testing purposes. (To comment out a line, use a text editor such as Notepad, open the SYSTEM.INI or WIN.INI file, and type "rem" (without the quotation marks) at the beginning of the line.) If this eliminates the problem, then the problem was most likely caused by one of the drivers that was removed. Replace the removed lines one by one until the problem reappears, thus showing which line was causing the problem. The installation of certain applications may modify these two files to enhance the overall functionality of Windows or provide additional features to the Windows environment. The statements below are the most commonly altered by third-party software manufacturers. As a result, verify the minimum default Windows configuration. Check the following statements to verify the default Windows configuration of the most commonly altered statements: SYSTEM.INI WIN.INI --------------------------------------------------- [boot] [windows] shell=progman.exe load= system.drv=system.drv run= keyboard.drv=keyboard.drv mouse.drv=mouse.drv display.drv=vga.drv 7. Your system may have a page-mapping conflict in 386 enhanced mode. Page-mapping conflicts occur only in 386 enhanced mode Windows, most frequently in Windows 3.0. Windows 3.0 often will not see the page frame or upper memory block mapping performed by 386 expanded memory managers (EMMs) and will map over those memory locations. Windows 3.1 inherits the upper memory area (UMA) mapping information from the EMM, so it will not map over memory locations used by the EMM. However, both Windows 3.0 and 3.1 can experience page-mapping conflicts with other devices or applications that use the UMA. Test the problem under standard mode by running Windows with the /s switch from the command prompt (type "win /s" [without the quotation marks]). If the problem does not occur in standard mode, it may be a page- mapping conflict in the adapter segment area of memory (between 640K and 1 MB). Edit the SYSTEM.INI file with Notepad or SysEdit and insert the following line in the [386Enh] section: EMMExclude=A000-EFFF (This line is not case sensitive.) NOTE: Because Windows 3.1 inherits its mapping information from any EMM loaded before Windows, it is important to either disable the EMM or exclude the same memory range (as shown above) with the EMM itself. Mapping information inherited from the EMM will override any entries in the SYSTEM.INI file. Performing the step described above will exclude the entire adapter segment from mapping. If making this change solves the problem, you may want to determine the position of all hardware adapters in the adapter segment and exclude them specifically, rather than excluding the entire region. Multiple EMMExclude lines can be used if necessary. If you are using a Micro Channel Architecture (MCA) bus machine such as an IBM PS/2, you can determine the adapter location by restarting with the machine's reference disk. If you are using an Industry Standard Architecture (ISA) bus machine, consult your adapter documentation and/or your manufacturer's technical support service for information on the memory locations the bus machine uses. You will not want to leave the entire range excluded, because Windows will not be able to use any of the memory addresses in that range to set up such things as expanded memory for MS-DOS applications. WINDOWS 3.1 ONLY: Use the command "win /3 /d:x" (without the quotation marks) to load Windows from the command prompt. The /d:x switch excludes the memory range A000-EFFF from mapping, similar to the statement EMMExclude=A000-EFFF in the [386Enh] section of the SYSTEM.INI file. However, as with the EMMExclude= statement, this switch will be overridden by any settings inherited from an external EMM. It is best to disable such EMMs if possible. 8. Check the MS-DOS version you are running. A machine should have the proper MS-DOS version for its hardware type. Original equipment manufacturer (OEM) versions of MS-DOS such as COMPAQ MS-DOS or IBM PC-DOS should be used only on their respective OEM hardware platforms (that is, COMPAQ MS-DOS only on Compaq machines, IBM PC-DOS only on IBM machines). 9. If you have a permanent swap file set up in Windows, it may be corrupted. The integrity of a permanent swap file is important if these errors continue. If the location of the swap file contains bad sectors, an error can occur. Windows will assume the data area of the swap file is valid. However, if code is swapped to a corrupt area, the data will also be corrupted. Change the swap file to a temporary swap file and restart the machine after first turning the computer completely off. It may also be necessary to run a disk optimization/defragmentation utility to improve the performance of the Windows swap file. 10. Reinstall the software causing the GP fault. If the GP fault can be tracked to a specific application, you may need to reinstall that software. The files on disk may have become corrupted or damaged or the application may not be properly installed. You may also have to reinstall Windows. If the SYSTEM.INI or WIN.INI file has been modified with poor results, a new installation of Windows will ensure a clean, unaltered Windows configuration. If all the above troubleshooting techniques have been exhausted and the GP faults or UAEs still occur, you may have to contact your hardware/software supplier for more information. ation. ation. Fillers mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "fillers_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp fillers_1 Understand UAE's (from Microsoft) fxWIPE "fillers_2" buttonUp buttonUp fillers_2 on Dreamsreatise fxWIPE "fillers_3" buttonUp buttonUp fillers_3 Del Freeman fillers_1 fillers_2 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One WORKING WITH YOUR DREAMS by Dr. D ju Vu What to do with all those dreams you've been recording! Volumes of information has been written on the topic of dream work. One of the oldest existing documents was a dream interpretation book written by the priests of Horus 4,000 years ago. Since then books on dream interpretation have been written in every language by everything from psychiatrists to charlatans. Summarizing all of this in an article for ModemNews is, of course, impossible. Let me, instead, guide you in your search for resources to help you in your dream work. ONLINE ASSISTANCE. Most major BBS networks contain at least one, often more, echos designed for dream exploration. Tapping into one is as simple as finding a BBS that carries such a sub board. Ask your favorite networked sysop for assistance in directing you. DREAM GROUPS. Most major metropolitan areas have dream workshops available. If you're unsuccessful in locating such a group, contact The Association for the Study of Dreams (P.O. Box 1600 Vienna, Va. 22183 703-242-8888) THERAPISTS. Professionals can be costly, and those proficient enough in dream exploration to help you with dream work can be difficult to find. Let your fingers do the walking and call around in your area. Any good therapist will be willing to talk with you over the telephone to see if he/she is able to assist you BEFORE you make an appointment for a session. BOOKS. Educate yourself. As we step out of the dark ages of mental health we also realize that dreams are not just random imagery our subconscious minds throw out to make sleeping more interesting. The number of written resources on the subject of dreaming is growing with this knowledge. BUT BEWARE: there are a lot of authors who profess that a dream dictionary is all that is needed to define a dream. Not so. Look for books that provide guidelines and education rather than pat interpretations. ONLY YOU CAN INTERPRET YOUR OWN DREAMS FOR THEY ARE *YOUR* DREAMS. Suggested reading: Boss, Medard. _I_Dreamed_Last_Night_, Translated by S. Conway. New York: Gardner Press, 1977. Focuses on the dreamer's experience of the dream rather than going into a lot of psychoanalytical babble. Brook, Stephen. _The_Oxford_Book_of_Dreams_. Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press, 1983. A collection of ideas and quotes by famous people on the subject of dreams. Delaney, Gayle. _Breakthrough_Dreaming_. New York: Bantam Books, 1991. Great overall dream book for those new to dream work by the founder of the Association for the Study of Dreams. Delaney, Gayle. _Living_Your_Dreams (rev. ed.). San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1988. Focuses in detail on dream incubation and problem-solving through dreams. (Dr. Gayle Delaney is one of my favorite dream authors.) Evans, Christopher. _Landscapes_of_the_Night:__How_and_Why_We_Dream_. New York: Viking Press, 1983. Interesting comparison of the dreaming brain to a computer. Faraday, Ann. _The_Dream_Game_. New York: Harper & Row, 1974. Very useful book that goes into specific techniques for dream work. Hartman, Ernest. _The_Nightmare_. New York: Basic Books, 1984. Written by the current president of the Association for the Study of Dreams, this book is based on his years of research on nightmares. Krippner, Stanley and Joseph Dillard. _Dream_Working:__How_to_Use_Your_ _Dreams_for_Creative_Problem_Solving_. Buffalo, NY: Bearly, Ltd, 1988. Provides a practical approach to using your dreams to problem-solve. Ullman, Montague, and Nan Zimmerman. _Working_With_Dreams_. New York: Delacorte Press, 1979. Written by mental health professionals for mental health professionals, this infomative book can be of use to anyone interested in dream groups. Well, that should get you started. Sleep Hygeine Here are some guidelines for promoting restful sleep. Some people can break any rule of sleep hygiene and still sleep soundly. Insomniacs or people plagued by sleep disturbances may find it helpful to follow one or more of the following rules. 1) Maintain regular arousal times. This is probably the most important rule for regular sleep. Awakening at the same time daily synchronizes our internal clocks daily. Each day our circadian cycle deviates from the 24-hour light-dark cycle causing us to lose about an hour a day. The act of waking up and getting out of bed is a strong enough biological stimulus to 'reset' our clocks. This is much more effective than maintaining a set bedtime. Going to bed when one is not sleepy will usually lead to frustration and will not synchronize the internal rhythm. 2) Sleep as much as needed to feel refreshed and healthy during the following day *BUT NOT MORE*. Insomniacs seem to stay in bed too long, trying to squeeze the last drop of sleep out of each night. Curtailing time spent in bed seems to solidify sleep while dragging it out seems to result in shallow, fragmented sleep. 3) Don't worry or brood in bed. Trying hard to sleep prevents sleep. A good rule of thumb: if you haven't fallen asleep in 15-20 minutes, get out of bed for a short time, do something relaxing or boring for 15-20 minutes ( or until you feel sleepy ) then try again. Classical conditioning theory predicts that the longer you stay in bed awake, the more likely you are to associate the bed with staying awake. 4) Don't use the bed for anything besides sleep. (let me qualify this one by adding "and sex") The reason, once more, is that you don't want to become conditioned to thinking of the bed as a place where you stay awake. If you like to read or watch TV before going to sleep, or while adhering to rule #3, do it in a chair beside the bed or in another room. 5) Avoid alcohol at bedtime. Although alcohol tends to make people feel drowsy, even small amounts can cause fragmented and poor-quality sleep. 6) Avoid caffeine and tobacco. Some insomniacs complain that they can't sleep unless they have a cup of coffee and a cigarette. These people are addicted to nicotine and caffeine and the initial bedtime withdrawl of these substances results in tension and agitation. These people find that they sleep much better once they become abstinent and have overcome withdrawl. 7) Avoid occasional loud noises. Aircraft flyovers or loud vehicles should be avoided. Use steady white noise such as an airconditioner or fan. Studies have shown that people do not accustom themselves to occasional loud noises even if they do not remember them in the morning. 8) Keep the room temperature comfortable. The body loses its ability to tightly regulate body teperature during REM sleep. Therefore the room should not be excessively hot or cold. 9) Don't go to sleep hungry. Hunger can disturb sleep. A LIGHT bedtime snack can help. A glass of milk at bedtime is more than an old wives' tale. 10) Exercise regularly. A physically healthy body sleeps better and deeper than an unfit body. However try to avoid strenuous physical activity within about 2 hours of the time you expect to fall asleep. 11) Keep busy, even after a sleepless night. The more one is sleep-deprived the more one should seek large-body activities (walking, cleaning house, yard work) as opposed to small muscle activities (needlepoint, drawing, etc.) or taxing mental work. 12) Adjust naps. Some people benefit from a mid-day nap. Others feel groggy and nonfunctional after naps and sleep more poorly on that night. This last group should avoid naps. (Sleep Hygiene Guidelines, adapted from Hauri, 1981) Our sleep needs are highly individualistic. Find just the right combination of factors (wake time, exercise, hours asleep, environment, etc) for you and ... SLEEP WELL! DREAM OF PEACE! "These dreams go on when I close my eyes. Every second of the night I live another life." -- Heart -- Fillers mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "fillers_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp fillers_1 Understand UAE's (from Microsoft) fxWIPE "fillers_2" buttonUp buttonUp fillers_2 on Dreamsreatise fxWIPE "fillers_3" buttonUp buttonUp fillers_3 Del Freeman fillers_2 yourad fillers_3 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One &f& CONFESSIONS OF A RECOVERING CHRISTMASAHOLIC By Del Freeman (A Ruby Begonia Offering) On New Year's Eve, 1987, I announced my abdication from the throne. I, who was once the Queen of Christmas, (and would have been King except for certain anatomical differences), turned in my crown, laid down my scepter and gave it up. I don't "do" Christmas at my house anymore. I don't not do it because of any alternative religious beliefs or high moral commitment to stamping out the suffering of mankind, either. I don't do it because of my disease. It's not even a self-respecting disease, either. I call it the "I want it all, I want it now, and I want it perfect Syndrome." Back when I did have Christmas, I didn't really have IT so much as IT had me. In fact, every year of my adult life up until 1986, Christmas snatched me up somewhere along about mid- October, enveloped me in its all-pervasive mystique, and wrestled me to the ground. It obsessed me, consumed me, washed me, rinsed me, and hung me out to dry until somewhere along about spring, when watching the hummingbirds soothed me back to a state of near sanity. There are those people who can deal with Christmas and I say, go for it. There are even those who can enjoy it, and I'm happy for them. For me, I can't eat one potato chip, I can't wait long enough to get anything out of lay-away, and I can't do Christmas. Period. At least I know my limitations. If there were a Christmasaholic anonymous, I'd be a charter member. Christmas was traditionally heralded by co-workers selling cards, ornaments and cheese and sausage. With the fever upon me, I'd buy one of each from everyone. We were always the only family in the neighborhood still eating cheese and sausage in August. Like all good addicts, I never knew I had an elf on my back. Christmas meant buying the biggest tree I could cram into my living room and then decorating it to perfection. Unfortunately, I persisted year after year in hanging the candy canes behind the angel hair because that was the way it was done. (This is the First Rule of Christmas: The angel hair goes on last.) My children, The Evil Demons of Christmas, would then cram little fingers into the swirls of angel hair and sneak candy canes until they were gone, and the angel hair hung in sad, bedraggled little clumps and wisps. No amount of pleading, screaming, threatening or hysterical weeping would dissuade them. Christmas was always ruined for me because no one ever said, "My, what a beautiful tree." When forced to comment, they said things like, "Interesting effect," while trying to divert my attention somewhere else, or "Hmmmm . . .". This, to a woman who'd spent hours agonizing over where to hang the miniature Santa. Along with the tree came the ivy, which had to be draped just so. No mirror to hang it on? Simple, buy a mirror. I once contemplated building a mantle - no fireplace, just a mantle. The candles in the windows, the lights all over the house and yard, the wreath on the door - all had to be perfectly positioned, usually Thanksgiving afternoon. The Evil Demons took great delight in lighting the candles and letting them burn to nubbins, thus violating the Sixth Rule of Christmas: Candles must not be lit until Christmas Eve. The Evil Demons had no respect for the Rules of Christmas, (and damn little respect for anything else!). Thanksgiving night always found me hustling boxes from the garage, racing frantically, panting and making those little mewling noises, listening to Johnny Mathis sing about roasting chestnuts, and knowing I'd be unable to sleep until it was all done to the last detail. (This is the Second Rule of Christmas: Christmas carols must be played continuously from Thanksgiving Eve until the Christmas party ends. They must never, ever be played one minute past midnight on December 25th.) The presents were another phase of the torture. Whatever came inside the box must be exactly right. Sometimes I got it wrapped and placed under the tree before I realized it wasn't exactly right, and that necessitated buying a second present because, once placed, a package could not be removed. (I forget which number this Rule is, but it is.) Then I had to buy a second present for everyone else, to make it even. (Christmas Rule number Four: Everyone must get the same number of presents, precisely determined by a mathematical formula taking into consideration cost and size.) There were only about 30 relatives and friends who showed up at my house Christmas mornings, so it not only got expensive, the living room got pretty crowded. No matter how carefully I planned, though, the last minute invariable called for just one more something. In 20 years of doing Christmas, I never once failed to be submerged in that crowd of last minute pushing, shoving, snarling shoppers fighting to buy the last chipped vase, buttonless blouse, tenny-runners with the shoelace missing. You may even remember me. I was the one in the protective gear, spiked heel held ominously aloft to ward off the less wily shopper, credit cards cocked and ready in a quick-draw holster at my waist, wearing a sweat shirt emblazoned with my motto, "Nothing in Moderation!" The wrapping, too, was an exercise in neuroses. The packages each had to be distinctive - no two bows alike, different paper, etc. I've been known to get up in the middle of the night to re-wrap a defective package. I have literally "come to" at 3:00 a.m., sitting in the middle of the floor humming Jingle Bells, eyes glazed and unfocused, little pieces of scotch tape aligned along the edge of the coffee table, re-wrapping a package so that I could fold its contents in tissue paper. The packages had to be placed exactly so under the tree, too. (This is the Third Rule of Christmas: Packages must be positioned in a symmetrical pattern, so as to be aesthetically pleasing to the eye.) I could spot a millimeter's repositioning at 50 yards. The Evil Demons liked to move things around just so they could watch me clutch my chest and gasp. Then, there had to be a buffet with at least two kinds of meat, rolls, condiments and dessert, and, of course, egg nog, not to be touched until the last guest arrived. The Evil Demons always stuck their fingers in the middle of the rolls and used the same knife for the mustard and the mayonnaise. The eldest liked to tell the unsuspecting guest that the youngest had spit in the egg nog, but only after the refills were served. Once the big day arrived, I played hostess to a houseful of people who ate my food, ripped open the packages and threw wrapping paper and ribbon all over my living room, made that noncommittal "Hmmmm" comment about my tree, and sometimes had words, or even came to blows before the whole fiasco was over. Somebody, (usually the same somebody - and no, it wasn't me), would invariably throw up on the rug or urinate in the garage, and Christmas was once again behind me. Then came the massive clean-up, take down, repack, put away and haul off, which left me weak and nauseous, certain I was a masochist, troubled because I liked it, craved it, fed on it like piranha on raw meat. The last year I engaged in this self-inflicted punishment was 1986. We had just moved to the country and lived in a small, single-wide trailer. In a fit of rural obsession, we bought baby ducks. Dramatically phasing down, I opted for a potted tree with a single string of tiny, blinking lights. I pared the guest list down to two, bought a package of stick-on bows and wrapped the few packages in identical paper. I cooked one lone turkey, and called it done. Fate, in its own inimitable way, acknowledged my concession to reason by raining from Halloween until Christmas morning. We discovered we lived in a flood zone, the front yard turned into something like muddy super glue that sucked your shoes off, and the baby ducks had to spend Christmas in the living room because it was so cold and wet outside. Now, baby ducks have their own distinct scent. It's a hard thing to describe, but I imagine it must be reminiscent of wet bear fur. Nobody ate a whole hell of a lot of turkey, I'll tell you that much. After Christmas, we threw out the lights and planted the potted tree in the front yard. It promptly died, and I recognized a sign from heaven and went straight. An ignominious end to an otherwise illustrious reign. Now, Christmas comes and goes, like always, but I don't play anymore. I don't put up and I don't take down, I don't wrap or unwrap, and I almost never hyperventilate in a department store, even on Christmas Eve. Life is good. And when I am tempted, I close my eyes and recall the redolent aroma I shall forevermore associate with cooked turkey. I no longer observe Christmas, but I have my memories! END Fillers mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "fillers_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp fillers_1 Understand UAE's (from Microsoft) fxWIPE "fillers_2" buttonUp buttonUp fillers_2 on Dreamsreatise fxWIPE "fillers_3" buttonUp buttonUp fillers_3 Del Freeman reviews_4 fxWIPE "reviews_3" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_3 Reviews 3 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Reviews reviews_4 reviews_5 fxWIPE "reviews_3" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_3 Reviews 3 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Reviews reviews_5 reviews_6 fxWIPE "reviews_3" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_3 Reviews 3 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Reviews B I 2 Information for Software Authors and Software Companies Have you written a software title that you think should be reviewed in an issue ModemNews Magazine? We think you might have! It does not take too much to get us to take a look at it, just send it our way, either to our BBS or to our mailing address and we will consider it for evaluation and review. It should be of general use in nature (meaning that it should be useable by a lot of people). It can be a spreadsheet, a CD-ROM "title", a word processor, a menu program, a screen display, a paint program, a utility to help you plant your garden or that just might make people's lives easier. It does not really matter all that much. There is so much good software out there that we feel some of it just needs a boost in the right direction to get it rolling and a review in ModemNews might just help. We will warn you though, there just is not enough space in this publication to "do it all" (as they say), but we try to get to as much as we possibly can. So if you are an author of Shareware or Freeware, be brave! If you are a company that regularly publishes commercial software we're here for you too. You can send us your submissions to our BBS: ModemNews EXPRESS! 203 359.2299 (N-8-1) or to our current mailing address: 116 Dean Street Suite B Stamford, CT 06902 We are here for you! .ed.re for you! mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_1 Nautilus Magazine on CD-ROM fxWIPE "reviews_5" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_5 ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_3" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_3 Sound Blaster Pro ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_4" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_4 ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_2" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_2 Modem USA - a book review fxWIPE "reviews_6" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_6 Information for Shareware Authors Classfieds Next! ge One "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Announcements fxWIPE "Announcements" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp Announcements Go Back to Announcements DTK Bare Bones Machines Case/Power Supply/Motherboard Tech 1635 286 16mhz DX Desktop with 1 meg of RAM $ 275.00 Tech 1663 286 16mhz DX Slimline with 1 meg of RAM $ 325.00 Peer 1660-C 386 16mhz SX Slimline with 2 meg of RAM $ 440.00 Peer 1630-C 386 16mhz SX Desktop with 2 meg of RAM $ 439.00 Peer 2030-C 386 20mhz SX Desktop with 2 meg of RAM $ 500.00 Peer 2060-C 386 20mhz SX Slimline with 2 meg of RAM $ 480.00 Keen 2531D 386 25mhz DX Desktop with 4 meg of RAM $ 660.00 Keen 2561D 386 25mhz DX Slimline with 4 meg of RAM $ 720.00 Keen 3332 386 33mhz DX Desktop with 4 meg of RAM $ 760.00 Keen 3334 386 33mhz DX Tower with 4 meg of RAM $ 900.00 Keen 4000 386 40mhz DX Tower with 4 meg of RAM $ 930.00 NETT 2000 486 20mhz SX Tower with 4 meg of RAM $ 935.00 FEAT 3331 486 33mhz DX Tower with 4 meg of RAM $1300.0000000000000000 Call for our other CUSTOM configurations. We offer 110's of products! ANYTHING you are looking for related to computers we can do! COMPUTER INVESTMENTS (217) 463-4451 VOICE or (217) 463-4452 FAX fxZOOM "yourad" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp yourad Classfieds reviews "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Reviews reviews_3 fxWIPE "reviews_3" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_3 Reviews 3 reviewpop Public Domain? Freeware? Are you using a utility program that you just cannot live without? Have you written or read a good book lately? Heard the greatest album? This is the place to let us know about it! Either send us the file for review, or send us the review for publication here, and in our Macintosh and DOS ANSI version of ModemNews Magazine. ModemNews Magazine. zine. ModemNews EXPRESS 203 359.2299999999999999999 reviewpop Some Shareare reviews in this section come to us courtesy of Express Shareware Report 1992 Patrick Grote mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_1 Nautilus Magazine on CD-ROM fxWIPE "reviews_5" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_5 ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_3" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_3 Sound Blaster Pro ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_4" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_4 ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_2" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_2 Modem USA - a book review fxWIPE "reviews_6" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_6 Information for Shareware Authors reviews newsstand fillers_3 reviews_1 fxWIPE "reviews_3" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_3 Reviews 3 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Program Name: Nautilus Magazine Size Zipped : On CD-ROM Author : Metatec Corporation Registration: Subscription is 119 Dollars Score : 10 Description : Magazine on CD-ROM Where Found : Retail Stores and Catalog Sales ===================================================================== Setup: Nautilus CD-ROM Magazine comes with its own install program that puts the new v1.5 Toolbook Runtime module onto your hard disk (the same is needed to run the new ModemNews for Windows). Even with this the control files will take up about a meg and a half of hard drive space, nothing compared to the 400 or so meg that come on the CD. Ease of Use: Click here, click there and if you've got MME for Windows v1.0, and a midi compatible sound card, you get hi-res graphics and sound. Very nice. Features: Without sounding too much like an ad for Metatec, Nautilus has it all. The sampler disk contains clips from Windham Hill recordings with graphics to match. It has DOS Shareware and sample applications. The demo came with some pretty neat Demos from mainstream software publishers. The best was from Ami Pro. Worth the price of the demo disk alone! Okay, so you've got 400 meg of disk space to play with! What you can't do is get bored. There is so much for every taste, every user and at every level. Like music? Play! Like games? Play some more. Like to see what's new out there on CD-ROM? Check out the CD-ROM directory. You want interviews? they got 'em. You want commentary? hey, ModemNews isn't the only place. Nautilus has its share. Our very favorite feature about this hot new magazine is its automatic communication feature called "Link". From nearly anywhere in the magazine you can stop to write a note to the Nautilus team, and at the end of your reading session the magazine will take you automatically into the "Link" function, call Metatec and upload your messages. Nice. Frankly, we at ModemNews are jealous! Drawbacks: The major drawback to Nautilus Magazine is not the price, It is the limited availablity of the necessary drivers for Windows Multi-Media, but this should be taken care of under Windows 3.1 when it is released on April 6th. Still, you will need a good quality sound card and a Midi connection to get the full benefits of what Nautilus has to offer. Some time ago we bought a Sony CD-ROM player that did not come with Multi Media Extensions for Windows, and our Ad-Lib card was too old. Microsoft will not distribute the extensions, Sony will sometime in the future, and the Ad-Lib card must first go through an upgrade. So we have this great "toy" yet we can only appreciate a small part of it. Once Windows 3.1 is released and Ad-Lib gets our new card we will go back to enjoy what we missed of Nautilus the first time around. We can't wait! Our hats are off to Metatec for the Nautilus concept. We would certainly like to think they got the idea from us, but not this time. Nautilus is an original, and it's good.: Reviews mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_1 Nautilus Magazine on CD-ROM fxWIPE "reviews_5" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_5 ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_3" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_3 Sound Blaster Pro ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_4" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_4 ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_2" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_2 Modem USA - a book review fxWIPE "reviews_6" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_6 Information for Shareware Authors "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One NEWS IN YER FACE More from Randall Ainsworth! Intel's CEO Andrew Grove recently referred to AMD's share of the 386 market as "mice *!#@". --------------- With Apple picking its distribution partners, look for one of them to be a major retailer with the motto of "Where America Shops." --------------- During Intel's recent announcement for their clock doubler chips, a short film drew audience hisses when Bill Gates appeared in the film. --------------- Borland will soon introduce a $69.95 videotape aimed at mass marketers called Learn Programming Today. --------------- Microsoft is in the process of setting up toll-free hot-line support in at least four Latin American countries where it has subsidiaries. --------------- This June, Compaq will be introducing a line of low-end systems, but don't expect to see a non-Intel processor. Big boy Intel has allegedly given Compaq irresistible pricing to make sure they keep this big customer. There will be two product lines; desktop PC's that are different from their DeskPro line and notebook computers that look different than their LTE line. The will not have a modular design like the PS/1. They will use 1024x768 VGA adapters from Western Digital. Both lines will feature preloaded software like Windows 3.1 and several popular applications. --------------- Dealers are angry at Microsoft's current DOS 5 promotion. Major newspapers have carried advertisements for the DOS 5 package at $49.95. With already low profits, dealers are not pleased. Some have speculated that the reason for the promotion is that Microsoft is clearing out inventory in anticipation of a DOS 5.1 release. A Microsoft spokesman said "There is no plan to introduce DOS 5.1. We're not trying to clear out inventory." Since July, 2.7 million users have bought the DOS 5 Upgrade package. --------------- Look for the cost of 3.5 disks to go up. Consumers are buying them up at an astonishing rate and manufacturers have been caught off-guard. The shortage is expected to last for 4-6 months. Ingram Micro (a large software/hardware distributor) has seen a 200% growth in sales of 3.5 disks from the first quarter of 1991 through February of 1992. --------------- Apple plans to enhance their new System 7 operating system to allow future migration to RISC hardware platforms. This would put Apple in the client/server market and give integrators new options. --------------- Intel has announced LANProtect, a network anti-virus application that stems from a joint effort with Trend Micro Devices. The product is a NetWare Loadable Module that resides on a server and continuously scans incoming and outgoing files using a proprietary prescan protocol stack to detect any virus activity. --------------- Be careful about mixing the Norton Speed Disk defragmentation utility with DR DOS SuperStor. Although DR DOS' documentation warns against using third-party optimizers, I've heard reports where Speed Disk trashed an entire disk leaving only unmovable files and unloadable programs. --------------- Beta testers for Borland have been wringing their hands recently because Borland has been promising Paradox for Windows for weeks, and no disks yet. Philippe has promised they'll be out by the end of March. --------------- Silicon Graphics announced an agreement to acquire Mips Computer Systems (big RISC maker). This is a $400 million deal which increases concerns about Mips' ability to keep its design open as well as whether Silicon Graphics will be seen as having an unfair advantage in the ACE consortium. ACE members Compaq, Digital Equipment, and Microsoft have endorsed the deal. This deal gives Silicon Graphics access to Mips' OEMs and RISC-based workstations which are defined by ACE specifications. This also gives Silicon Graphics a way out of its traditional scientific and technical market and into the growing client/server market. --------------- DISCLAIMER RAndY's RumOR RaG is published on a monthly basis by AINSWORTH COMPUTER SERVICES and is available on various BBS's, GEnie, and America Online as well as in ModemNews. In case anyone cares, RAndY's RumOR RaG is produced on a DTK 386-33 with 16 megs of memory, Cyrix Fasmath co-processor, ATI VGA Wonder+ card (1 MB), 105 MB Toshiba IDE hard drive, Teac 1.2 MB, 360K, and 1.44 MB floppies, Sceptre SVGA display, Microsoft mouse, WordPerfect for Windows and transmitted through a US Robotics HST Dual Standard modem. Opinions expressed are those of the author. Comments should be addressed to Ainsworth Computer Services on GEnie, America Online, phone, analog mail, or whatever method makes you feel good. AINSWORTH COMPUTER SERVICES 605 W. Wishkah Aberdeen, WA 98520-6031 (206) 533-6647 GEnie Address: RAG America Online: RumOR RaGG Roundabout! mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "roundabout_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp roundabout_1 RandY's RumOr RaG fxWIPE "roundabout_2" buttonUp buttonUp roundabout_2 Vaporware fxWIPE "roundabout_3" buttonUp buttonUp roundabout_3 TimeLine of Apple History (part 1) ButtonUp fxWIPE "face" ButtonUp ButtonUp News in yer Face reviews_2 fxWIPE "reviews_3" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_3 Reviews 3 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One MODEM USA a book review by Allen Roberts I'm the sysop of UFOria BBS (1-703-803-6420, I couldn't resist the plug), and one of my callers recently wrote a book called "MODEM USA". I found it so valuable that I wanted to share my thoughts about it with ModemNews Magazine. To put it simply, MODEM USA is a book that no self-respecting BBSer ought to be without. MODEM USA provides listings and information on BBSes located around the country. Some of you out there might ask "What's so special about that? I can get all kinds of BBS telephone numbers from the USBBS list and THELIST!". To that I respond, you are right. But MODEM USA provides you with something that none of those lists do - a short paragraph (in most cases) describing what the BBS is about, who it is for, the types of files available for download, and some of the echoconferences it supports. This makes it a much more useful tool than a long BBS list which ONLY has BBS names and telephone numbers. In short, MODEM USA provides you, the BBS caller, with the critical information you need when deciding whether to call that BBS located on the other side of the country. There are many ways in which MODEM USA will prove helpful to you. First, it will of course save you long distance telephone charges as you call around the country looking for that one BBS with the information you are seeking. But even more than that, MODEM USA will help you find the answers to your questions much more quickly than by making random BBS calls. For example, if you wanted to find physicians or other medical specialists to answer your questions, MODEM USA contains a state by state breakdown of medical and health information BBSes. If you are job hunting, MODEM USA can direct you to BBSes in each state where job announcements from business, government, schools, and other organizations are posted. Or if you desire news, databases, conferences, and software available from the government, MODEM USA provides information on numerous government-run BBSes. Regardless of your interests, MODEM USA can direct you to BBSes which will satisfy your yearnings for music, science, environmental, real estate, genealogy, police, medical, library, gardening, writing, and government-oriented files and conferences. AND MUCH MORE! For the new BBS user, MODEM USA is nothing less than a fountain of previously unimagined information. For the experienced BBS caller, it is a valuable reference source for BBSes around the country. I own a copy and recommend it to everyone out there! MODEM USA contains 192 pages of useful information and sells for $16.95 (add $3 for shipping and handling). You can order this book by sending your check to: Allium Press P.O. Box 5752-5030 Takoma Park, MD 20913-5752 ...and tell them you heard about it in ModemNews Magazine! Reviews mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_1 Nautilus Magazine on CD-ROM fxWIPE "reviews_5" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_5 ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_3" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_3 Sound Blaster Pro ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_4" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_4 ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_2" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_2 Modem USA - a book review fxWIPE "reviews_6" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_6 Information for Shareware Authors reviews_2 reviews_6 reviews_3 fxWIPE "reviews_3" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_3 Reviews 3 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One SOUND BLASTER PRO REVIEW/CRITIC Marcel Oats Preamble In early August 1991, I read about a Card from Creative Labs called the Sound Blaster Professional or SB-Pro. Great! I couldn't wait for it to come to New Zealand. Finally it did; and on the 22nd of October 1991, I made my purchase. For around nine months I'd previously had the Standard Sound Blaster Card (V1.51) with the CMS support so I feel I know a lot about the System in General. I am totally blind; hence my great interest in sampling and SB's Musical Capabilities. Installation The Hardware consists of a 16-bit Card, (an eight-bit Version is available?) an Audio Cable and a Midi Box and Cabling. The Midi Box is not really for the serious user; as it fails to perform Bidirectional Transfers. The Audio Cable consists of a Stereo 3.5 MM pin to plug into the Card's Audio Output, with two RCA type Connectors for connection to your Stereo. The SB Pro also has an SCSI Interface for a CD Rom, that conforms to the Microsoft CD Rom Extentions standard. Watch this: if you turn on the Computer and if your Stereo/Amp is up too loud, you could be at risk of causing harm to your System, as the Card's Electronics make a loud thump. The Mic Circuit now has a Compressor built-in; a good Idea. I installed the Software (they use Lh-Arc to compress all the stuff now) and it ran! Unfortunately, the FM Music Output Test is just the same as the old Card; in fact there are no new .CMF files at all. The "Voice output" test is now different. It consists of the sound of a Stream going from left to right. After moving everything into my Audio Subdirectory, I started playing. I ended up deleting their Multi-media Demo, as it required VGA. There's a CD-Rom Player Programme; which I shell also delete. I haven't deleted the Parrot yet. Smooth Talker is the same; that's as good as ever! I'm really glad that Firstbyte have licensed that Programme out. They're using v3.5 of the Driver, but now Creative Labs have added an "echo" Programme which is meant to give SB Talker an Echo. This works; allowing you to specify the number of Milliseconds wide the Delay effect should be. Playcmf is the same as I mentioned. The FM Driver will slow down when confronted with complex or fast events. There are now two Programmes, SBP-Set and SBP-Mix, for setting the volume/placing of each part of the Card. The Mix Programme is a TSR, that lets you control things like the FM Channel, Dac Volume, something called the DAC Test (on or off) and the Line and Mic Volumes. The SBFMDRV Programme, v1.30, now (obviously) accommodates the Stereo. The FM Organ has now been slightly enhanced (note the word _slightly_) and now has the sounds placed in Stereo. The Apegio moves across the stereo Spread. Otherwise, FM Organ has had its Name changed to "Pro-organ," and sounds the same. There'll be no more Data Packing from me, Silence Encoding from me either, Menu Driven Voxkit style Interface for me, or the new features apparently available in the sampling system: Vedit2 (as it is now called) requires a damn EGA Card at a minimum! Oh well; there's always the command-line Programmes "VREC" and "VPLAY." Note: when Screen Reading software is confronted with a Graphics mode, all us blindies get is garbage; as the software relys on the ascii contents of screen Memory. The First Sample After determining the best settings to use, finding out which Socket was the Mic socket, I made my first Sample. Not bad! Only: when you tell the Programme to record at "high Frequency" (/F:HIGH) it thinks that around 6,000 Hz is high enough. So, I told it specifically to sample at 44,100 Hz. Excellent! Now for the CD Player plugged into Line-In. Where was Line-in? Got it! And it takes a Stereo 3.5 MM Plug; oh well, that's another Lead to buy. When I turned up the Line Volume on the Card, I got a Surprise; for you can now hear the Signal going through the Card; and if that isn't enough, when you're sampling, it sounds as it will when you play it back; well almost. At 22,000 Hz in Stereo, it isn't too bad at all; although I was getting a few Clicks in the Background (something I remember SB Digest Saying actually) and when I turned the Line Volume down, it didn't make much difference. At 44.1 Khz, (mono) I was somewhat disappointed: the first thing I noticed on playing my Sample from the CD Player back, was at the very start, you get a little "jiggle" or Flutter in pitch at the beginning of the Sample. That will only last for around a quarter of a second however; an answer is to have no sound at the very start of your Sample. Also, it wasn't as clear as the CD; which it should be really; I mean I'm not expecting CD Quality here, but perhaps a bit clearer than what I got? Note: On further investigation, I have discovered that the stereo DAC outputs are a lot clearer than the mono ones. This can be illustrated by running a Mod file through Trakblaster or Modplay (mono) then through Promod (stereo.) This can also be demonstrated by trying to convert a mono Voc to a stereo one. I haven't been able to try the Windows Utilities that are included, for obvious reasons! Criticisms I'm a little disappointed at the fact that Creative Labs have just worked on enhancing their existing Platform, rather than giving us some more Programmes to use that take advantage of the new capabilities of the Card. For example: I think it would have been nice if we were supplied with a standard Voxkit type of Programme, which would be capable of doing such things as Silence Encoding/Compression/extraction? of a .VOC File. I also think a Command-line Compression Handling Utility would have been a helpful inclusion; especially for somebody who doesn't have (and has no intention of getting) an EGA Card. I think that the EGA Editor should have really been a separate Programme. I also think that there should be some kind of FM Composer; which may be able to create sounds (ie actual Instruments etc) as well as play them; you should be able to compose Music, in a simple (and very important here) non-graphical Environment! There really should be a Utility to convert our old favourite ".CMS" Files to a form playable by SB-Pro; either that, or a Programme to play them directly. The .CMS System (originally used in Game Blaster Cards) was one of the first true multi-voice music systems for the PC; and is still respected in places. I personally got a Kick out of loading the Pop-up CMS Player and doing other things on the Machine while CMS was playing. Oh and by the way: I was in a silly mood one day, and installed the old CMSDRV (CMS Driver.) It installed, and all that came out were some really neat (but out-of-tune) noises. There is too much noise on the right Channel of your stereo samples. In fact, I really can't see what the "Filters" are supposed to do. I want 16-bit samples! I don't think I need to say any more, except that eight-bit samples have too much s/n ratio. Good Points There are (of course) things I really like about the new SB-Pro System, otherwise I wouldn't have shown the interest: The CD-Rom Connector allows you to connect a CD-Rom, no kidding (such as the one made by Phillips) directly to the Card and play your CD's out of the Card. I don't know if the DAC on the Card is used. You'd also be able to create Multi-Media presentations; the Sound Blaster System has always used DMA to get the Data it needs, thus leaving the Computer to do other things ... like loading in Bit-mapped Images. SB-Pro is a 16-bit Card (there's an eight-bit version too?) so Bus Communications are a lot faster! That is apparent even when using something like the CMF Player. The provision of separate Mic and Line Inputs is a very good and much needed Idea! Also, being able to hear your sound as you sample (you can turn that off) is also a brilliant move. The filtering on the Card is supposed to be much superior than that of the "standard" Sound Blaster; in fact there wasn't any on the standard version. I have not tried the Game Port; and have no need for the Midi Port; but apparently they're just the same. Incidentally: the Sound Blaster Pro's Software includes some .MID (standard Midi) Files; Why didn't they bundle Voyetra's excellent SP Pro Sequencer with the System? Creative Labs have included a Demo of a TrakBlaster - like Programme called Tetra. That requires an EGA, but did run on my Machine. I think it's a very good idea for Creative Labs to be now supporting this Programme. As well as setting an Environment Variable pointing to the Directory, SB-Pro now set's an Environment Variable in your Autoexec.Bat file pointing the Programmes to the right DMA, Interrupt and Port Assignments. Conclusion If you've got the Hard disk Space (a full Sb-Pro Installation takes just over 2 MB) and if you are also wanting to create high-quality Samples (and use more Space?) then the SB-Pro System is your Answer. I still feel that SB-Pro is really not a replacement for the "standard" Sound Blaster Card; it is (as the name suggests) for the Professional or Musician, who wants to take Sampling seriously. I have read about the new Adlib Gold Card; I'm very happy that Creative Labs decided to provide Adlib Compatibility; as the Adlib system is now widely accepted in the Music World, as well as being used ever increasingly in Games. Adlib Gold however, is out on it's own (downwardly compatible with 1.X) and uses Yamaha's four-operator FM Chip and, 12-bit samples! Yaay! Needless to say, I'm going to be trying one of those when it comes to New Zealand. Is the roomour that Creative Labs are working on a look-alike true? If people start to support it by writing more and more Programmes/Utilities/Games etc it looks as if SB-Pro has a good and long future ahead!!!!!!!!!! Reviews mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_1 Nautilus Magazine on CD-ROM fxWIPE "reviews_5" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_5 ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_3" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_3 Sound Blaster Pro ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_4" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_4 ButtonUp fxWIPE "reviews_2" ButtonUp ButtonUp reviews_2 Modem USA - a book review fxWIPE "reviews_6" buttonUp buttonUp reviews_6 Information for Shareware Authors reviews_3 reviews_1 humor newsstand 6$9$9$9 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One NewsStand News @212May 1992 rev 1.55 ModemNews Magazine c/o The GreenBird Group 116 Dean Street Suite B Stamford, Connecticut 06902-6251 203 359.2299 BBS (2400-9600) 203 969.1183 Voice (7-9 PM EST) [ModemNews can be reached via our RelayNet Conference] Jeff Green, Publisher Chris Bird, Macintosh Editor Bob Olafson, DOS Programmer Roger Bacon, Associate Editor Copyright 1992 The GreenBird Group Dear Sysops, NOTE: This document is for the use of Sysops who presently distribute ModemNews Magazine, OR for those sysops who may in the future consider doing so. Please direct any questions to the numbers above. If you already have a copy of ModemNews in your file base, or you are offering it for online viewing please note that NO permission is needed for either, however, the magazine may not be altered in any way except for when used for online viewing. (See the note at the end of this document for more information.) As you may already know, ModemNews Magazine has grown into an international electronic publication, and has grown this way due to the hard work of many Sysops and BBS users across North America. ModemNews started out as a local DOS based BBS news magazine. As our issues were uploaded around the BBS circuit it began to spread far from the original area for which it was intended. All for the better. As of this writing we are presently in more than seventy major markets, and can be found on some of the many NetWorks that link BBS's around the country. This is just the beginning. As we grow, so will the BBS community. The thousands of BBS users across North America will be able to find a common voice within the pages of ModemNews Magazine. ModemNews Magazine is not a technically oriented publication. Rather it is more like a `Readers Digest' of the electronic medium. In our pages your users will be able to find all manner of interesting information. From recipes to jokes, from technical papers to News and Views about the computer and BBS industry. These pages can be used as a focal point for BBS users from all over to exchange information and ideas on just about, well, anything! That's the beauty and intent of ModemNews. ModemNews Magazine is distributed through a Network of NewsStands that will make it possible for any reader to obtain a copy of the magazine on a BBS near to their home. Each week we are adding more NewsStands to the ranks. This document will tell you how you may join this constantly growing number of ModemNews NewsStands. Below, we hope to clearly delineate a distribution policy for ModemNews that will be fair to all Sysops and readers alike. In addition, you will find out how to be listed in our pages as a ModemNews NewsStand. The advantages to your board are many and the demands on you are very few. Just a few minutes of your time to get set up, and a few minutes more once each month to post the newest issue of the magazine. More about that later. Publication Schedule for ModemNews Magazine ------------------------------------------- ModemNews will be published once each month (except for July and August). Deadline date for entries is the 15th, and release date of each new issue will be on the first of the month. Information from you, your users, or from your board that is received by the specified date will, if space permits, be published in the immediate issue. If space is not available, the information will be posted in the very next issue in turn. You or your users may submit anything you or they feel should be published in an issue of ModemNews. We are particularly looking for the following; NOTE: Numbers in parentheses denote the 'rough' maximum Kilobyte limit. 1) Interesting message threads from your board about most any topic.(10K) 2) General Purpose technical papers and articles.(15K) 3) General articles concerning the computer/BBS industries.(15K) 4) Editorial comments and replies.(5K) 5) Feature articles and stories.(15K) 6) ANSI and/or MacPaint artwork.(15K) Do not limit yourself to the above list. We are open to all suggestions. It should be remembered that this magazine is wholly dependant upon user submissions for it's content. You are encouraged to submit a profile of your particular BBS as well as an ANSI/TEXT/or MacPaint ad which will be displayed in the magazine once your BBS has been approved as a ModemNews NewsStand. Your BBS ad will be seen by readers from coast to coast and be one of only 10 that will be published within each issue! [The above option is available ONLY to BBS systems that are FREE to the general public, and are officially recognized NewsStands] If general access to your system is limited to paying members, you may then purchase commercial ad space in the magazine. (see AD.DOC included with this package) How to become an Official ModemNews NewsStand. --------------------------------------------- BEFORE YOU CONTACT MODEMNEWS YOU MUST HAVE COMPLIED WITH THE SET UP LISTED IN THIS DOCUMENT. DO NOT CALL US BEFORE YOUR SYSTEM IS READY. YOUR BBS WILL BE CHECKED BY ONE OF OUR STAFF. (usually within 14 days.) ModemNews reaches it's readership through 'FREE' distribution. No fee or penalty may be levied for a download of ModemNews. This does not imply `free' downloads from your board. Upload/Download ratios on your board are exempt, though some boards allow ModemNews to be accessed without affecting user U/D ratios. If your board has commercial or paid access lines, ModemNews must be able to be accessed through the public lines on a callers FIRST or, at the least, his second call after they have completed your verification process if you have one. A new user MUST however be able to see on his FIRST call that he has reached a ModemNews NewsStand. In order for you to be an official NewsStand several things must be done. Sysops requesting NewsStand status from ModemNews Magazine should be at least 18 years of age and be operators of established Bulletin Board Systems. NewsStand status will NOT be granted to BBS's that encourage or engage in the following activities; Phreaking Pirating Virus development or distribution Have more than 25% X-rated GIFS unless it is specifically an Adult access BBS If an existing NewsStand is found to be actively engaged in any of these activities they will be immediately dismissed, and local Law Enforcement Agencies will be notified. There will be no exceptions. A notice MUST be placed on the front end of your system notifying callers that you are indeed a ModemNews NewsStand. This is a MUST and will be strictly enforced. 1) Create and maintain a download FILE area for ModemNews that will contain at least the immediate issue, as well as the past two issues of the magazine. There is no need to keep the entire collection of magazines in your database. This file area may be "shared" with other `magazines' or files as long as the file menu clearly states the words ModemNews. 2) Try to get your users involved. This is for THEM and BY them. Advertise the magazine, request your users to upload their works, and contribute yourselves by sending us a Profile of your BBS (roughly 5-10K in size). You may also send us interesting message threads from your system. Anything that may allow other readers to get a feel for your particular BBS system and inform our readers. 3) You MUST contact ModemNews EXPRESS! (203) 359.2299 and request listing in the magazine and leave a message to the Sysop requesting such be done. (You might also upload at this time any ads or BBS profiles.) Notify the Sysop what action has been taken on your part and be sure to include your boards name and number. While online you should fill out questionnaire #3 at ModemNews EXPRESS!. If you do not answer honestly, your request will be disregarded. There will be no exceptions and you will not be able to reapply with us for at least one calendar year. Your system will be checked and screened BEFORE you are granted NewsStand status. If your System has not been set up properly to receive ModemNews when one of our staff calls to check, your request for NewsStand status will not be granted. 4) You MUST pick up your NEXT issue of ModemNews from the ModemNews Central Library at ModemNews EXPRESS!. Thereafter we will find an alternate (read:less expensive) method for you to obtain your newest issues, including automatic transfer via RelayNet if you carry the ModemNews conference. We will try to make it possible for you to obtain your copies from another NewsStand in your area or through a NET system in your area. If you CAN already do this, please phone us and let us know. This will help speed up the distribution of the magazine and keep a good deal of your money out of the pockets of our favorite phone companies. 5) In MOST cases submissions from your readers or from yourselves should be sent to ModemNews OnLine as soon as they are received. 6) The magazine may NOT be altered in anyway when posted in your ModemNews file area. It must be posted EXACTLY as received. This also holds true for the archived version. 7) Your system will be checked by our staff from time to time. If it has been found that you have violated our agreement, you will be deleted from our NewsStand listing, and a note will be posted in the magazine stating why this was done. 8) We REQUIRE that you contact ModemNews EXPRESS! least once in every 30 (thirty) day period so that we know you are still with us, and operating in accordance with our requests. A call like this need only last one or two minutes. At ModemNews EXPRESS! you will find important information for you updated frequently, as well as the current issues. (You need not get your issues from us after the first, you may get them from your nearest local NewsStand if that is available to you. A message left to us in the ModemNews conference on RIME (RelayNet) will suffice. [addendum 12/01/91] Any NewsStand that we do not hear from within this time period will be placed on suspension for a period of 15 days, and notice made in the Magazine as well in the ModemNews conference on RelayNet. We will at this time make an attempt to notify them of this by direct contact to their BBS. If at the end of this 15 day period we still have not heard from the NewsStand they will be dropped fom the listings in the next immediate issue. In these few paragraphs I hope that I have answered the many questions I am sure you will have. I have tried to make this process as simple as is possible, and feel confident that this has been done. If you have any suggestions for us or further questions PLEASE call us at ModemNews EXPRESS! at anytime. You will usually receive a response within 48 hours. The more exact information you leave us, the better we can answer your questions, or deal with your requests. Note for DOS systems.... ------------------------ When ModemNews is offered for online viewing on your system, Sysops are ENCOURAGED to use the /0 <--- that's a ZERO option that will allow a caller to go directly to PageOne, and upon exiting go directly to the last page. The magazine may NOT be altered in any other way without the express permission of the editor. This will be a blessing to those who log onto your boards at 1200, and a miracle for those who are still crawling along at 300. My lawyer made me include the following......... Shareware Notice: This file is NOT Freeware. It is Shareware in an interesting form. If you continue to read ModemNews Magazine for any length of time (at least three issues) we would expect you to register your support with a donation of your choosing. The official NewsStand price for a copy of ModemNews Magazine is $3.00 (three dollars), but please note, no SysOp or person, or BBS service of any kind may charge for a download of any issue of the magazine. This also includes disk copying services and Shareware distribution services without prior written permission from the staff of ModemNews. This also extends itself to commercial online services such as CompuServe, America OnLine, Prodigy and GEnie Only the officers of ModemNews Magazine may collect your registration fees. Officers of ModemNews Magazine can be found at ModemNews EXPRESS!. If you should need further information, your local NewsStand SysOp should be able, and will be more than happy to help you. You may send your registration fees to: ModemNews Magazine c/o The GreenBird Group 116 Dean Street Suite B Stamford, CT 06902-6251 Voice 203 969.1183 BBS 203 359.2299 Please make your checks payable to: Jeff Green [eof] standpop Are you interested in becoming a ModemNews Magazine NewsStand? This area will give you all the information you will need to do so. Join us........................... join us! humor "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Humor & Fun! humorpop Come along and laugh with us! This is the area we set aside for some fun each month. You'll laugh right along with our favorite resident scribe - Zerro, with the irreverent Del Freeman and others. Of course, as with every other area of ModemNews YOUR submissions are important to us. So if you would like to have your 15 minutes of fame (sorry, no cash or money orders)... mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "humor_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp humor_1 Resident Scribe Zerro fxWIPE "humor_3" buttonUp buttonUp humor_3 The Three Princesses fxWIPE "humor_2" buttonUp buttonUp humor_2 The "Hollow Earth" Theory humor_1 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One More from our resident scribe Zerro! The ignorance of one voter in a Democracy impairs the safety of us all. If you happen to think that you understand everything that is going on about you, it is likely that you are hopelessly confused. It is not met to be understood, but it is met to be observed and commented upon. If you are not totally confused, you do not really understand the situation. If there is anything a public servant hates to do, it is usually something for the public. Stop and think about this for a minute. Here is a guy running for President that is willing to spend umpteen million dollars to obtain the office, and while you are right there in his presence, he is telling you how he is going to balance the budget. His salary is going to be about $ 200,000 per year, and he is spending millions to get into this office, while telling you he is going to balance the budget. Does all of this really make any sense? The Bore is the person who deprives you of your solitude without any form of recompense in the form of decent company. A good bore can consume within the space of one year, one and a half times his own weight in patience. It requires considerable talent and no small measure of experience to be an accomplished bore. If you understand everything, you are obviously misinformed. If you don't know where you are when you get there, then this is a fairly poor place to find out that you are not where you thought you were. People leave Washington, D.C, by box, either ballot or coffin. One of the hardest arguments to refute is silence. Anyone can win, of course, but this can be somewhat complicated if there is a second entry. Bureaucracy defends the status quo long after that quo has lost its status. If folks don't want to do it, it's hard to keep them from it. I have often wanted to vote for the best man, bnut so seldom have I found him listed among the candidates. The very best thing about the group that is usually listed is that only one of them can win. It is dangerous for someone running for national office to say things that people might remember. One of the largest liabilities is an ability to speak with precision and allow people to know what you are saying and what it means. Avoid these things if you wish to be elected. In a Democracy, decisions are made by a majority. Not by a majority of the people, but by a majority of that minority enfranchised to vote. Not just those who can vote. The minority is made up entirely of those who do vote, and that is quite a minority indeed that makes the decisions for a Democracy. Everything comes to the man who is least in need of it, and at a time when it is inconvenient for him to receive it. True enough, you can not cross the bridge till you come to it, but it is well in this world of constant uncertainty, to keep an extra pontoon or two handy, just in case you get to a river without a bridge. It is a foolish man who tests the depth of the river with both feet at the same time. Often this person tests just one river. If at first you don't find success, there is no use being obstinate about it. The decision is maybe, and that's final unless it isn't although at this time it seems to be. Modesty is that art which allows that you draw attention to whatever it is that you are being humble about at the present time. Very frequently, when someone can not change their mind, it is an indication of a lack of something to change. There are three ways to get something accomplished. Do it yourself. Employ someone to do what you want done. Forbid your children, very strictly, from doing what you want done. Sometimes problems are so difficult that it takes an expert just to remain undecided about the possbile solutions to the problem. Once an appeal is made to force to settle a disagreement, it is well to remember that there is now one thing you can not afford, and that is to lose. That individual who is habitually undecided is one who suffers from exhaustion and horror for life. Many people, while they will not experience a nervous breakdown themselves, can be rather easily identified as carriers of this malady. Humility is elusive, for the very moment you think you have it, at that very instant, you've lost it. There is never a convenient time for death, for taxes or for childbirth, but all these things happen and we manage to survive them all. Some are a joy, others a relief, but taxes are for sure no fun. If this material is offensive to you, and admittedly it will be offensive to someone, than you should take time out to contemplate this truth. Seriousness is the refuge of the truly shallow! Often times, the best armor we have is keeping out of range. There is no such thing as a little enemy just as there is only a big friend. If you have no enemies, you are also apt to be in the same prediciment with regard to friends. It is a lot more fun to suspect someone of something than to know the true facts of the case under discussion. A tax loophole is a form of tax reform that did not benefit you. Had you benefitted from it, it would have been a model piece of tax reform legislation. Conscience: The unending visit of a Mother-in-law. Jim and Tammy Bakker are the only people I know who are a disgrace to their underwear. Nothing quite compares to getting an income tax refund, unless it is standing before a firing squad and living to tell of the incident. It takes more brains and effort to make out your income tax forms correctly than it does to make the income you are reporting. Reality implies constancy. Constancy is composed of change, one of the few things in reality that is constant is change. Change implies movement from where we were to where we will be after we get on with it. Movement always involves some degree of friction, and the more you move, or the longer you move, the more friction you are discussing here. Friction brings heat and a lot of friction brings us a lot of heat. The only place that movement doesn't bring friction is in outer space. Now it also happens that heat does not generate light, and so you can have hot feelings, deep feelings, true and sincere convictions, and not have one iota of rationality or reality involved, after you have been through change and movement and, yes, friction. A nation's advance as a civilized society can be properly guaged by the manner in which it treats the poor and the elderly - often the same people. Aside from traffic, nothing has put the brakes on society quite so well as a committee. In order to form an excellent and efficient committee, only three people are required. Additional to this, one needs to be absent and one needs to be sick. On such rare occasions as happen when these circumstances come together, you have that threatened species of animal, the perfect committee. A man can drown and do it easily in a stream whose average depth is a mere seven inches. Figures won't lie, but liars will figure, and I figure that as long as they figure to lie, it's hard to find the facts. My counsin is a statistician and he regularly draws wild postulations from which he deduces unwarrented assumptions which lead to his foregone conclusions. It is his job to support all of this with numerical facts which substantiate these bizarre prejudices. He is what many folks today call a professional person. Knows more and more about less and less until he arrives to that distinguishing point at which time he knows nothing about anything. Fine profession, statistician. One thing can be said about our space program. Our tax dollars go farther. Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody - you for instance. Bureaucrat: A Democrat who is holding some office that a Republican wants, or a Republican who is holding some office that a Democrat wants. With a little research and some funding it is quite possible to find a difficulty for every solution. Often enough statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they concel is vital. Don't put any faith in what statistics tell you until you have carefully examined what these statistics do not tell you. An official is always an official and always has a wild unquestioning belief in written reports. Never insult the alligator until you have crossed the river. When you catch an elephant by the hind leg and the elephant is trying to run away, it seems wise to let the poor animal lose. If you can't see the bottom, wade not, for you may be in far too much before you know it. If you keep a thing for seven years, you will find a use for it. Moderation never hurt anything and helped quite a few things. It is a mistake to assume that in order to give an immortal speech, it must also be eternal. It seems highly impractical for us to be thinking of lengthing the school year when it is already so difficult to get in all those back to school sales that we now have. The difference between a Yuppie and a Nerd is simply that one has money.... It takes a smart person to know that the person is stupid. There is nothing quite so flattering as being 28 and having someone demand two forms of identification before you can be sold a drink with alcohol in it. About the only thing that beats this sensation is being asked for documentation that you actually do qualify for a senior citizens discount. Take great care never to swat the fly on the forehead of your friend, if you are carrying an axe. There is a world of difference between making instant coffee and winning an argument with an Italian. Life is often like a large serving of kumquats, sometimes there is more of a good thing than you can take. Sometimes it takes a real optimist to think that things are so bad that they just can't get worse. ZERRO Speaks: Another small installment of what might be considered humor has been gathered from the fragments, and with no small amount of pain, carefully glued together in this mosaic of mirth designed to keep even the constipated happy and joyous! Tis indeed proof positive that if you really want to steal, you can do it on a wholesale basis. What is within this installment has been borrowed, copied, stolen, enlarged, elaborated, enhanced, reformed, reformatted (this is a biggie when you deal with computers!), decomposed, recomposed, composed, reconstituted, disarranged, rearranged, dearranged, reiterated, plagarized and otherwise tormented in various ways, until the material finally surrendered and agreed to come together here, as it has. No one really wants to take any responsibility for this, since it is dangerous and might even lead to loss of reputation and what is worse, like over-production of ear wax from the lumbar region! Things like this can happen, you know, so on the pretense of being safe, no one is willing to take chances. Well, enough of this. If you like what you have read, and are able to read and still like it, see your pet store fish dealer immediately and eat the stock for a week. That should cure your problem. If you are still able to say that you like this material and then go that final step, the one that separates you from sanity completely, and say, out loud now "I want to contribute to this silly stuff that this Zerro guy writes!" When you do this, of course, your name goes on a list, and no Discover Card representative will be sending you much of anything for a good long while.....Anyway, you want to send something for inclusion in this Zerro feature ---- WRITE TO: Resident Idiot - Scribe Zerro P. O. Box 38 Buffalo, Illinois 62515 Sending material to this address gets your name on another list. A list called "Contributors," which also stands for "Citizens on nothing too real in beauty, unless they order real sacks." Either way you cut it, getting on this list is not something everyone fights to do!!!!! Humor & Fun! mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "humor_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp humor_1 Resident Scribe Zerro fxWIPE "humor_3" buttonUp buttonUp humor_3 The Three Princesses fxWIPE "humor_2" buttonUp buttonUp humor_2 The "Hollow Earth" Theory humor_2 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One "n" Taken from KeelyNet BBS (214) 324-3501 Sponsored by Vangard Sciences: PO BOX 1031 Mesquite, TX 75150 November 24, 1990 -------------------------------------------------------------------- THE HOLLOW EARTH: A MADDENING THEORY THAT CAN'T BE DISPROVED From OMNI Magazine (October 1983), Games section (p. 128) If there were a hall of fame for pseudoscientists, surely Cyrus Teed would deserve a place of honor. It was shortly after the Civil War that Teed had his vision: The earth is a hollow sphere, and WE LIVE INSIDE IT. Everything else in the universe is in here with us --planets, comets, stars -- everything. What's outside the sphere? Nothing. Teed's cosmology had a particular appeal to religious fundamentalists. It made the earth important again, rather than an insignifigant speck in the cosmos. And it eliminted the difficult concepts of infinite space and aimlessly scattered worlds. We're all right here together in this safe, spherical womb. In 1870 Teed changed his name to Koresh (ancient Hebrew for Cyrus) and started a cult. At its peak in the Nineties the Koreshan (pronounced ker-ESH-an) Unity movement had some 4,000 followers. Teed established a religious/scientific community a few miles south of Fort Myers, Florida, and there founded the town of Estero. He was determined to prove his theory scientifically and launched his own geodetic survey in 1897 to do just that. Using his "rectilineator," a set of double-T squares made of large logs, he projected a horizontal line until his calculations indicated that it would plunge into the Gulf of Mexico, four miles from its starting point. This was Teed's proof that the earth's surface is concave and that his rectilineator line had intersected the earth's upward curve. The scientists had gotten everything backward: It is centrifugal force, not gravity, that keeps our feet planted on the ground. The sphere *is* about 25,000 miles around, just as the scientists say. China is about 8,000 miles away, through the earth's center -- straight up. The Nazis entertained many occult theories in their quest for world domination, and Teed's was one of them. At one point a Nazi expedition went to the Isle of Man. Its mission: to get secret photographs of the United States by pointing its powerful telescopes *up*. What's most infuriating is that a little mathematical fiddling turns this crazy theory into a proposition that is virtually impossible to refute. The trick is done by *inversion*, a purely geometric transformation that lets a methemetician turn shapes inside-out. When a sphere is inverted, ever point outside is mapped to a corresponding point inside, and vice versa. The goemetry is quite simple. If a sphere's center is "C" and its radius is "r," then every outside point "P" maps to an inside point "P'" such that "CP x CP' = r2" {that's "r squared" - Foxx}. {My apologies for not being able to include the accompanying illustration. - Foxx} Here's a good way to visualize it: For any outside point "P" (on the sun, or Pluto, or Cygnus X, for example), draw a circle that has "CP" as its diameter. From one of the two points where this circle intersects the earth, draw a line perpendicular to "CP." The intersection point {of this perpendicular and "CP"} is the location of "P'". By far the largest body in our inverted Earth is the moon; a bit over half a mile in diameter and some 3,933 miles over our heads. The sun's sphere is only eight feet across. The stars are microscopic spots clustered around the center, which is, of course, infinity. Is there any way to prove we *aren't* inside a hollow earth? We asked H.S.M. Coxeter, mathematics professor at the University of Toronto and an expert on inversion geometry. "I can't think of any," he said. "A rocket flight, an eclipse, a Foucault pendulum, a Coriolis effect -- any observation we can make on the outside of the earth has an exact duplicate version inside. There would be no way to tell which was the truth." Just as the geometry of space inverts, so do all the laws of physics. Toward the center of a hollow Earth, light slows down and everything shrinks -- atoms, astronauts, spaceships, and measuring rods. Light travels in circular paths, producing some weird (but lawful) optical effects. Astronauts on the moon looked back on what they thought was a blue sphere in the distance. Actually it was the inside of the earth's shell, through sight lines that flared like the bell of a trumpet, producing the *illusion* of a sphere. The optical distortion is something like the wide angle view through a fisheye lens. As we look to the sky and the horizons, our visual field is filled with a sphere some 4,000 miles in diameter. Celestial bodies that revolve around the earth's center appear to "rise" and "set" as they enter or leave that sphere. Cyrus Teed said that the moon is an illusion, that gravity is really centrifugal force, and that a horizontal line on the earth's surface eventually intersects the earth's upward curvature. We like to think that if he were alive today he would junk some of his earlier predictions to conform to inverse geometry, thereby keeping his theory irrefutable. The centrifugal-force idea is demonstrably false. If it were so, there would be two points on the earth's surface where the force disappeared -- along the axis of spin. It is gravity of a peculiar kind that pulls us all to the outside. Teed's rectilineator experiment must have been in error. A line that appears horizontal actually curves in toward the center and so gets farther and farther "above" the surface. Teed would have embraced Einstein's view of a finite, bounded universe in which light travels in circles and eventually returns to its starting point. An infinitely powered telescope aimed straight up, Einstein said, will eventually produce a view of the other side of the earth. That idea might seem paradoxical to most of us, but it would have been intuitively obvious to Cyrus Teed. ... the Australian Journal _Speculations in Science and Technology has published an article by Mostafa A Abdelkader, of Alexandria, Egypt, that considers in all seriousness the proposal that we really *are* in a hollow Earth. Abdelkader says that the only way to test the theory's validity is to drill a tunnel straight through the earth. Until such an experiment is performed, he writes, "it seems ... that the odds are strongly in favor of [a hollow Earth] being our actual universe." -------------------------------------------------------------------- If you have comments or other information relating to such topics as this paper covers, please upload to KeelyNet or send to the Vangard Sciences address as listed on the first page. Thank you for your consideration, interest and support. Jerry W. Decker.........Ron Barker...........Chuck Henderson Vangard Sciences/KeelyNet -------------------------------------------------------------------- If we can be of service, you may contact Jerry at (214) 324-8741 or Ron at (214) 242-9346 -------------------------------------------------------------------- this file provided courtesy of the Darkside at 314-644-6705 -------------------------------------------------------------------- Humor & Fun! mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "humor_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp humor_1 Resident Scribe Zerro fxWIPE "humor_3" buttonUp buttonUp humor_3 The Three Princesses fxWIPE "humor_2" buttonUp buttonUp humor_2 The "Hollow Earth" Theory humor_2 humor_3 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One THE THREE PRINCESSES IN THE MOUNTAIN-IN-THE-BLUE fifth part of seven From Steven LeBlanc Written by Inge Vabekk You may be sure the princesses were glad now that they didn't have to sit and scratch the Trolls' heads any longer; there was no end to the kindnesses they wanted to do for the man who had freed them, and the youngest princess wrenched off her golden ring and knotted it into his hair. Then they gathered up as much gold and silver as they thought they could carry, and started for home. As soon as they tugged on the rope, the captain and the lieutenant hauled up the princesses one after the other. But when they were safely up, the soldier realized that he had been foolish not to seat himself in the basket and go up ahead of the princesses, for he didn't trust his comrades at all. Now he decided to try them, so he put a huge lump of gold in the basket and jumped to one side. When it was a good halfway up, they cut the rope so that the basket crashed down on to the rock and the pieces blew about his ears. "Now we're rid of him!" they said. Then they threatened to kill the princesses if they didn't say that *they* were the ones that had rescued them from the Trolls. The princesses didn't like it one bit, especially the youngest one; but life is precious, so the captain and the lieutenant had it their own way. Now when the captain and the lieutenant came home with the princesses, there was indeed great rejoicing at the king's manor. The king was so happy that he didn't know which foot to stand on. He took his best bottle of wine out of the cupboard and poured out a cup of welcome for the two of them; and if they hadn't been made much of before, they were now, I can tell you. And they strutted back and forth, and preened themselves like gentlemen the whole day, now that they were getting the king himself for a father-in-law; for it was clear that they would divide half the kingdom between them. They both wanted the youngest, but for all they begged and threatened, they got nowhere. She wouldn't have them in any shape or form. So they talked to the king about setting twelve men to guard her; she had been so gloomy ever since she had been in the mountain, they said, and they were afraid she might do herself some harm. This the king agreed to do; and he told the guard to take good care of her, and to follow her wherever she went day and night. And now a feast was to be prepared for the two eldest princesses, with much brewing and baking. This was to be a wedding the like of which had never before been seen nor heard of: and they brewed, and they baked, and they butchered as though it would never come to an end. In the meantime, the soldier wandered aimlessly back and forth in the other world. He was sad to think that he would never again see a human face nor the light of day; but he had to keep himself busy with something, he thought, and so he went from room to room, one day and two days and many more. He rummaged in all the cupboards and drawers, and poked about in the shelves, and looked at all the fine things that were there. After a while he came to a drawer in a table; he pulled it out, and inside lay a golden key. So he tried the key in all the locks there were, but not one did it fit until he came to a little wall cupboard over the bed, and in that he found a rusty old whistle. "It might be worth trying to see if there's any sound in it," he thought, and put it to his mouth. Before he knew what was happening, there was a whirring and a rushing on all sides, and, all of a sudden, down swooped a flock of birds so large that the ground was black. "What does our master wish today?" they asked. Well, if *he* were their master, said the soldier, then he'd certainly like to know if they could tell him how to get back to the earth. No, there was not one who could, "- but our mother hasn't come yet," they said. "If she can't help yo, then there's no way!" So he blew the whistle once more, and after a little while he heard something beating its wings a long way off. At the same time a wind started blowing so hard, that he was thrown from one wall of the courtyard to another like a whisp of hay, and if he hadn't grabbed hold of the rail fence he would almost certainly have blown away at once. Thereupon an eagle glided down in front of him, so big that it was beyond words to describe. "You come hard, you do," said the soldier. "I come the way you blow!" said the eagle. Then he asked if she knew a way for him to escape out of the world they were in now. "Nestlings can't get away from here," said the eagle, "but if you'll slaughter twelve oxen for me, so that I can eat my fill, I'll try to help you, I will! Have you a knife?" "No, but I have a sword," said the soldier. When the eagle had finished off the twelve oxen, she bade him slaughter one more and take i along as provisions for the journey. "Every time I open my beak, you must be quick and throw a piece in," she said, "or else I won't be able to carry you aloft.""""""""""""" Humor & Fun! mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "humor_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp humor_1 Resident Scribe Zerro fxWIPE "humor_3" buttonUp buttonUp humor_3 The Three Princesses fxWIPE "humor_2" buttonUp buttonUp humor_2 The "Hollow Earth" Theory humor_3 news_3 writers_2 roundabout news_2 writers office editorials "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One ModemNews encourages you to voice your opinions on any subject you feel most comfortable to write about. This forum is provided as one of the essential reasons for ModemNews Magazine. Feel free to participate. From Ricky L. Johnson -------------------------------------------------------- Youth can always find a critic but seldom find a teacher. Middle-aged man is like An immovable pot-bellied stove That only smokes And makes hot air. Oh! How civilized we are; We are afraid to be human. Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. A man that Tells everyone that He is Must not be. If you love me Prove it Without money Without presents. Those who judge you Do not know you; Those who know you Do not judge you. Is the truth Always best Revealed Or protected? No one but everybody else makes mistakes. We wish we could have what we had. Do not cast aside the things you have as meaningless or useless. You may want they back. Man can destroy himself with his own sense of understanding. A method to solve a problem is not always a solution. One solution does not solve every problem. Do not make a decision based upon one example. To receive good advice one must consider the advice of many. The process of learning is the realization of what one does not know. Standard formality diminishes creativity. Ignorance is a powerful oppressor. Liberalism-the belief that old ideas of morality make people feel guilty and try to intellectualize immorality so people can do anything without guilt. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- and from Mark Harl of Germantown, MD On Nov. 5, 1991, the citizens of Washington, DC, voted away a portion of their precious Second Amendment freedom in exchange for a practically non*existent safety (as one of our Founding Fathers said, "Those who give up a little liberty for a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty or safety.") In a editorial published in the Washington POST the day before, the Rev. H. Beecher Hicks Jr., one of the ministers leading the Referendum 006 push, stated "Assault weapons...can spray)fire 30 rounds in a matter of seconds." He goes on to state that 'assault weapons' are good for mostly crime and killing (and manufacturers/dealers "know or ought to know" that), and implies that Referendum 006 will save the city. Unfortunately, Rev. Hicks sounds like many other anti gun proponents who give the very clear impression of something like "I've decided that (guns, handguns, assault weapons, Saturday night specials, etc.) are evil, serve no useful purpose in today's society, that they're responsible for almost all crime, killings, and maimings, are the weapon of choice for (drug dealers, criminals, etc.), so don't confuse me with the facts!" I wish to point out some facts about 'assault weapons'. All of the following facts are taken from a Congressional Research Service (a branch of the Library of Congress) report titled "Semiautomatic Military Style Firearms: Statistics and Issues": An automatic firearm continuously fires its ammunition while its trigger is held down. A common slang term heard for this type of firearm is a 'machine gun'. A semiautomatic firearm is one that fires one round of ammunition with each pull of the trigger without manually recocking the action: it can only fire as fast as one can pull the trigger, which can hardly be described as 'sprayfire'. Many firearms used for hunting and other recreational purposes fall into this category, and are no different from 'military assault weapons' (except for their 'evil looking' appearance). BAn assault weapon has a selective)fire capability, i.e., containing a switch enabling one to select automatic, semiautomatic fire. No automatic firearm or true assault weapon is available to the general public, nor have they been listed on any legislation restricting or banning 'assault weapons'. Neal Knox, a court qualified firearms expert, testified under oath at the House Subcommittee on Crime hearing (April 5)6, 1989) that 12*gauge shotguns are much more lethal under 50 yards than the typical 'assault weapon'. While not all Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms traces are for firearms used in the commission of a crime, of the total traces done from 1986)1989, only 8.75% were for 'assault weapons'. Again for 1986)1989, police and other law officers killed with firearms was 262: the total killed by 'assault weapons' was 14, or 5.4% In Alabama during 1989, there were 408 homicides, of which 284 (70%) were by firearms; none of these were by 'assault weapons'. \j\ Most, if not all, police departments polled nationwide reported that in the case of crime by firearm, the "problem was overwhelmingly handguns and revolvers", not 'assault weapons'.In Florida from 1986)1989, there were 2,671 crimes by firearms, of which only 75, or 2.8%, were committed with 'assault weapons'. A representative of Handgun Control, Inc. said, "We agree with the National Rifle Association that assault weapons...play a small role in overall violent crime...Handguns, especially Saturday night specials, are still the most often used weapon by criminals." A Los Angeles detective said, "...are these assault weapons the criminal's weapon of choice? The answer is no. We take...(many) more handguns or shotguns or .22 caliber rifles..." I wish to point out again that the facts stated above are from the US Government, not the NRA. I also hope I have helped dispel some of the myths of assault weapons, because only facts will be clearly seen in the bright light of reason and liberty; myths cannot stand in the light of facts. I would also encourage everyone not to take my word for it; check out these facts for yourself. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Editorials and Comments editpop If you've got something to say. If you would like to resond to an editorial or think you've got a good one, let us know. ModemNews is your magazine. You make it what you want. fxWIPE "editorials 1" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp editorials 1 From the Editor... editorials writers "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Writer's Block ButtonUp fxWIPE "writers_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp writers_1 The Mating Sounds of North American Frogs fxWIPE "writers_2" buttonUp buttonUp writers_2 The Philosopher's Stone fxWIPE "writers_3" buttonUp buttonUp writers_3 Aunt Amiga The Writer's Block is where we feature our monthly regulars like Roger Bacon's "Philosopher's Stone" and Dorothy Hall's "Aunt Amiga" as well as a guest writer or two. Do you think you might have something our readers would be interested in? A short story? Your first unpublished novel or novella? Send it to us for consideration... mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave writers_1 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One www Chapter Eighteen and Nineteen THE MATING SOUNDS OF NORTH AMERICAN FROGS a novel about teaching in two first-persons by Meredith Garmon (with a lot of help on the T parts from Melody Lewis) under the pseudonyms K.T. and S.N. ------------------------------------------------------- W-11-F-81 Firefly has blue eyes over which she wears shocking pink contact lenses. The effect is ultra-violet. Clover has her mother's sea green eyes with gold flecks in them. Ips wears hazel eyes impatiently convinced they should be frosty blue. Ms. T's eyes are often bloodshot, due to midnight paper grading, daily office report checklists and periodic over-indulgence in rum and other goodies. No one's really sure about Shelly's eyes. They can be grey, green, silver, blue, brown, black, lavender, gold, black, warm, or icy, depending on mood, cycles, spells cast, and other things. Mostly they are just eyes, but Clover understands that Shelly's eyes aren't limited to the spaces beneath her black eyebrows. Clover's discovered on several occasions that Shelly had aesthetically pleasing, erotically stimulating, and intellectually probing eyes behind her kneecaps, under the fingernail of the index finger of her left hand, and in the middle of her forehead. In the wee hours this morning after leaving T's place Clover and Shelly visited their friend the musician. The musician has stars and complete solar systems in his eyes. He's a twenty-one year old genius whose chiseled features are well concealed under a splendidly unkempt beard. He has long brown hair that leaps to his waist, and he sticks out among generally much less hirsute Our Countians like a hairy black thumb on a Swedish princess. He's living sideways, which explains his Bohemian garb in the sensible, tailored 1980s. Shelly was rolling a joint for them when suddenly she looked up. She looked as though she were listening for a faint, far off sound. Clover and the musician watched her and held their breath. "It's almost time," said Shelly. "Time for what, Shel?" asked Clover. "Earth rhythms. They're almost all in place for our trip to Zorch." "Far out," said the musician. Shelly eyed him, and then Clover. "Do we need to go rounding up the others?" asked Clover wondering what time it was anyway and looking around the apartment for a clock. Shelly shook her head. "No. We have eight hours or so." I awoke this morning and donned my purple and red corduroys. I got to school I moved my little tag with "N" on it from the dark blue board (signifying night--out) to the yellow board (signifying day-- in), checked my mailbox, dropped my briefcase beside my black-topped counter, and went down to T's room. When I got there Shelly, Clover, Ips, The Firefly, and T herself were already there, buzzing excitedly, sort of waiting for me, sort of not. Firefly had brought her "Luce" ashtray, and the Betyses' big golden-gilt antique angels-and-gargoyles mirror was there. "It's almost time," chimed Firefly when I walked in. I looked at Shelly. "Sometime during first period would probably be best." said Shelly. "Precisely when my Firelady won't be having her hiney whacked," said Ips. This is how we did it. I wrote a note on a piece of long yellow paper. It said Mr. Spumoni, Please excuse Shelly Betyse from your first period Italian II class today. I need her assistance with a demonstration in my general science class. Thank you. I signed and dated it. Then I wrote a similar note to Mrs. Greco to get Clover out of typing class, and another to Ms. Shumach to get Firefly out of yearbook staff class, and one to Coach Portly to get Ips out of civics class, and finally one to Ms. T that said Dear T, I like you. Do you like me? Circle one: yes no maybe never If Spumoni, Greco, Shumach, and Portly ever get together, they surely will mutter that it must be one hell of a demonstration to require all that assistance. Of course, they would be right. Ips and I carried the mirror down to my classroom and we got it mounted on the wall just as the homeroom bleeper went off. "Beefo," I said fifteen minutes later just after the first period tardy bleeper had sounded, "would you give me a hand setting up today's demonstration." "Yes, sir, Mr. N," said Beefo cheerfully. I never reported Beefo for the destruction of my desk and ever since he's been exceedingly respectful to me. Unlike my other classes, which every now and then got boisterous beyond their own educational good, I haven't had the slightest problem in my first period class: if a kid so much as burped through his nose without raising his hand first, Beefo's head would whirl around from the four desks he sat in (five at first, but he dropped a few pounds), and glare at the offender for a couple seconds. The offender barely breathes for the rest of the period. Beefo and I dragged the machine out of my supply closet and got it stationed in front of the mirror. "Wow, Mr. N," went some of the darlins, "What is that?" "You'll see," I said. "We're going to have a demonstration today." I called the roll and, making a mental note not to say anything very specific, started up an off-the-cuff guided discussion about other dimensions. Ips, Shelly, Firefly, and Clover entered one by one, and I introduced each as an assistant for the demonstration we would be having shortly. Firefly had her ashtray, Ips and Shelly went about checking everything on the machine to make sure it was in order. Diskettes whirred in the porta-pooter. Clover looked on, inspecting their work. The musician came in. "Uh, hello," I said . "I invited him," said Shelly. "It's OK isn't it?" "Sure," I shrugged, and turned back to ask my class another question. Ms. T came in. She had gotten her freshman English class settled, more or less, into reading J.R.R. Tolkien's "Leaf by Niggle." ("There was once a little man called Niggle, who had a long journey to make. . . .") "So, Harvey," I was saying, "you don't think inter-dimensional travel will ever be possible because you think our zinc atoms are too big to fit between the interstices of reality, so if we could do it, we'd get there without zinc, which is, of course, an essential mineral. And Janice, you say we'll never be able to do it because we have too many problems right here in this dimension to be gallivanting off to God Only Knows Where. What do the rest of you say?" when a short high beep interrupted. The beep was the one that indicated that the intercom god has turned its ear and voice to my particular classroom. There was a tiresomely long pause, just like there always is, before it spoke. "Mr. N?" said God. "Yes?" I shouted back. God is rather hard of hearing. "Is Miss Firefly with you?" said God. "Shit," said Firefly under her breath. "Yes, she's here," I shouted. "Could you send her to the disciplinary principal's office, please?" "I will tell her you called," I hollered. "What?" said God. "I'll send her shortly," I yelled. There was a silent pause, and then God beeped off. "We have to get started now," said Shelly. "It's time?" I asked. She nodded. "So," I said to my class, "our demonstration today is about inter-dimensional travel. My assistants and I are actually going to try to go to another dimension. "Mr. N, you've always been in another dimension," quipped Ips, who didn't know the dangers of quipping in my first period general science class. Beefo started to rumble, and a leg slid off its desk. "It's OK, Beefo," I said, "He didn't mean it, he wasn't disrupting anything, it's OK, everything's all right." Regarding Ips suspiciously, Beefo slowly settled back into place. "Now," I continued to the class, "do not try this yourself. It's pretty dangerous. After we're gone, the machine will continue to run for a few minutes. Don't touch it." Firefly pulled the cord and the machine roared to life. Ips flipped a toggle switch and then sat down at the keyboard of his wired-in porta-pooter. "Please remember," I hollered over the noise, "that the odd numbered exercises at the end of Chapter 17 are due tomorrow. After you watch this demonstration, you may work on the homework for the rest of the period." A light beam became visible from out of the mechanical innards. It went into a tube that went around and under other mechanical apparatus, and then it came out and went into the blade which scattered it all over the room. "Far out," said the musician. "Firefly," yelled Shelly, "I'll signal when it's time to put the ashtray in between the tube and the blade." Firefly nodded. "After you put it there, let go. The beam will hold it up." "What's the signal?" Firefly asked. "Um. I'll lift my left foot," said Shelly. Then she placed both hands on the machine and closed her eyes. Ips was sitting on the floor on the other side of machine, typing madly on the porta-pooter. T said into my ear, "What about our zinc atoms?" "And what about all our problems right here in this dimension?" I answered back into her ear. "Be serious," she chided. "It's OK," I said. "It's not the atoms that get rearranged. It's the molecules. And we've got molecules thousands of times bigger than zinc atoms." She did not look reassured. But Shelly had lifted her foot, and The Firefly put the ashtray in place. Suddenly something started to form between the fat naked baby gargoyles and the fat naked baby angels. It was an amorphous shifting purple splotch, about a foot across. "Far freakin' out," said the musician. Shelly opened her eyes and stepped back. Ips was gazing intently at the porta-pooter's four- inch monitor. Shelly walked around and looked over Ips's shoulder. "That's it!" hollered Ips, and he hit a button on the keyboard. The purple splotch on the mirror stopped shifting and just sort of vibrated there. It had a blue-green fringe now. We all stood transfixed, staring at it. After an elongated moment, Ips finally got up. The faith of children and all that, I guess. He reached out and touched the splotch, shimmered for a moment and disappeared. There was a loud clatter that scared the shit out of me. Beefo had fainted and slumped out of his desks, knocking three of them over. I walked over to Harvey and told him to go get the school nurse as soon as we were gone. I turned back to the mirror just in time to see The Firefly shimmer for a split second before she, too, was gone. And then Clover went. And then the musician stepped up to the mirror, turned and looked around at all of us. He pulled a wooden flute from Calcutta out of his pocket, tooted a couple notes as he turned back to the splotch, and then touched the flute to the mirror. It disappeared, but he didn't. This surprised him, and he thrust his hand through the splotch. He too shimmered and was gone. Shelly turned to T and I. "Go on," Shelly said. I looked at T. She looked at me. "I'll be right behind you," we both said. And then we laughed. I patted her shoulder once, and stepped toward the mirror. I turned and extended my arm back toward T. She took my hand, squeezed it once, and let it go. She winked and smiled. Then I turned and reached out to the mirror. Wednesday, February 11, 1981 Slazlic \SLAZ-lik\ n, MZ aszliken, similar to ash, fr. OZ ascegelic, that which remains when the fire (literal or figurative) has passed --from the fat red dictionary with the smiling zansfara on the front Neva and Kali gradually moved off their cushions and Neva pulled the silk tassel that took the colors of the tent walls and opened their home space to the blue-green soil and the magenta swirly sky. There against the short horizon were two Earthans, leaping about, clutching hands and spinning in circles. They were covered in slazlic and were so totally absorbed in each other that they were as one with the shifting landscape. "I believe one of them is your friend Ms. T," observed Kali. "And the other one is her mate. His name is N?" "Yes, Kali," Neva answered. "That is N. But her mate? Of that I am not so sure." Kali smiled again and touched her companion's fingers. "Look at them. They are like two children who have just found each other. They are on a merry-go-round or, perhaps," she laughed, "riding the wheel of fortune. They and the ones who come with them will discover their destiny, or a part of it, while they are here. And they are in a state of grace, my love, a pure shining state of grace." N and I, meanwhile, were indeed sloshing around in slazlic. "I think you need some more here, N," I cried, "right here on the end of your nose." I dabbed him thus on the end of the nose and scampered a bit away. "And you, T, are missing just a smidgen right here on your ear." By now we both were casting blue-green shadows among the morning suns and were clasping each other's hands for support until finally N fell down on one knee and whispered, "We are obviously on quite an adventure, Ms. T. Wilt thou take me for thy knight to honor and protect thee from whatever dragons there might be in this foreign land?" I sank down to one knee too and dragged out a red marking pencil from my shoulder bag. "Sir Knight, N, of Our County and the Great Beyond," I said, "I dub you my loyal friend, and friends we shall be, if you'll but grant me a single boon, m'lord." "Name it, m'lady, and it is thine if the power be within me to grant it you." "That you shall thus likewise dub me too." "Oh, good. I was wondering who was going to protect me," he said. And so I lent him the red marker and as the magenta whirled and swirled around us, and the suns glittered, I touched him on his right shoulder, and he touched me on my right shoulder, and we bowed our heads toward the morning soil and we spoke our oath. Chapter Nineteen W-11-F-81 My knight, whose knight I am, and I looked up to find ourselves being hailed by a pair of supple-limbed, bulbous-bodied creatures that could only be Zorchans. "Hello!" I called to them. "Hello!" cried T. "Greetings," came back their wonderful, friendly voices. We sloshed toward them, and they glided toward us. The one with three eyes, I knew, must be the female. Perhaps to show us familiarity with our customs, and because they knew we didn't know didley about theirs, they shook hands with us. Earthans must have at first seemed to Zorchans to be an awfully libertine species, the way we go about joining hands with the most casual of acquaintances. So great was their desire to make us at home that they had even spent some time practicing the casual handshake ("Remember now, use as much palm as possible and as little finger, squeeze quickly and let go, and while you're doing it try to think of something else"). We headed back to Kali and Neva's tent. "I wonder where the kids are," I said. I'd seen them in the distance when we first arrived--Shelly, Clover, and the musician in one direction, and Firefly and Ips in the another. "They are safe," Kali assured us. "They aren't far from here, and will probably be showing up very soon." We got the tent and the four of us sat around the fountain. T pulled out a cigarette and her butane lighter. "Your fire-maker will not function here," Neva told her. "How come?" I wondered. "We just don't have fire here," said Neva. "We used to, I think," remarked Kali. "Did we? It does seem that I remember having heard something about that." "According to which legends you steal, this whole planet is made up of stuff analogous to what on your planet," Kali said to us, "is called ash. I have heard my elders suggest that all of Zorch might be the offal of a cosmic campfire." "So why don't you have fire now?" "I don't know," said Kali. "I just don't like it. Nobody here likes it. It's all right on Earth, I guess, but our planet has no affinity for fire." "Hello," called out a Firefly. We turned to see Ips and her entering through a flap at the back of the tent. "What's wrong with fire?" asked Ips, having overheard. "Fire destroys," said Kali. "We create here on Zorch. Our planet thus does not allow flame." Ips looked dubious. "You've got oxygen, because we're breathing, so if you've got a combustible material, you can have fire," Ips mumbled as he pulled a book of matches out of his pocket. He struck one. There was no flare up of flame but the head turned instantly black. He put a finger to the black tip. "It's cold," he said. He tried another match and got the same results. "That's freaky," he muttered, coming to sit by The Firefly who had already joined our circle. "Can you have fireflies here?" asked The Firefly. "Oh sure," said Neva. "That light comes from chemicals, not from combustion," said Ips. "But they can't manage to breed here, so they die off rather shortly after we bring them in," added Kali. I'd been following a train of thought on the fire subject. "Ms. T," I asked, "what does 'paraffin' mean?" "It's like wax, isn't it? A kind of waxy stuff." "Yes, but it has other meanings doesn't it?" T looked blank. "How about the prefix 'para-'? What does that mean?" "Sort of. Like, not quite, but almost. Or else faulty in some way. You know, a paramedic is not quite a medic." "That makes sense," I replied. 'Parasexual' refers to reproduction resulting in combined genes from different individuals but without meiosis or formation of a zygote. So it's almost, but not quite, sexual." "Almost, but not quite, sexual," said T with some eyebrow action of her own. "And 'paranormal,'" chimed Firefly, "means it isn't normal." "And a paranoid is almost a noid," quipped Ips. The Zorchans began to laugh. "Actually," said T, "a paranoid is usually fully annoyed." The Zorchans giggled. On a hunch I pulled T's lighter out of her bag--it was right on top so I didn't have to rummage. I flicked it. The usual small flame appeared out of it's end. The Zorchan giggling came to an abrupt halt. Their five eyes flashed. "It's butane," I explained. "A match-tip is sulfur-based, I think--at least they used to be. Butane is chemically very different. It is a member of the alkane series which also includes methane, ethane, propane, and a bunch of others." "Inane?" suggested Shelly, but I was too involved to be diverted. "Butane," I continued, "is the lightest member of that series to have any isomers, and I couldn't say for sure if that is important, but it might be. Alkanes burn in air, and, as Ips pointed out, we humans aren't having any breathing difficulty. Anyway, alkanes burn in a highly exothermic oxidation-reduction reaction. They're very flammable, in other words." "So why doesn't the match work, Mr N?" interrupted Shelly as she appeared through another tent flap. Clover came in right behind her. "Well, I don't know. But what we call the alkane series, the old alchemists had identified as paraffins--lacking affinity--in part because of their unmixability with other chemicals. But maybe there's some other level at which these chemicals lack affinity. . . ." "With what?" asked Ips. "With whatever's in the atmosphere that normally prevents fire." "I think I was right when I said 'inane'," said Shelly. "Mr. N, this explanation is like the belief that mercury salve will cure syphilis because the sign for mercury, the chemical, is also the sign for Mercury, the god of, among other things, the marketplace, where syphilis is contracted." "What's wrong with that?" said Kali. "Mercury salve does cure syphilis, for just the reason you gave." As Shelly had spoken, I saw the justice of her words, and the foolishness of my paraffinity story. But when Kali spoke, the spell of Zorch retook me. None of us but Shelly, whose own magic made her immune to Zorch's, doubted Kali. Th-12-F-81 Ips was running in circles across a cobblestone floor, hollering. "My penis! I know it was here a moment ago!" A fountain of shining lemon yogurt reflected off the marble walls as a washer-woman was mopping away the last traces of Kali's footprints. Clover, nude except for, just above her left elbow, a black lace garter with "honi soit qui mal y pense" embroidered on it, hovered horizontally face up near the ceiling. She was waving her arms, conducting, I knew, the "1812 Overture," although I heard only the glop, blop of the spilling, shining yogurt. In a corner, I was nearing my fifteenth chin-up on a hardened graham-cracker bar that hung over a phosphorescent Zorchan commode. T was near by, Russian dancing (running while sitting down). Firefly, sporting a friendly three-day beard, was sitting in a yoga position and reading (or maybe reciting) to us a Kurt Vonnegut story about toe massage. Ms. T finally woke up and the scene vanished, to be replaced by the slightly less bizarre interior of Kali and Neva's tent. It woke me up too, which was fine with me--my arms had been aching ever since the eighth chin-up. (But Clover didn't wake up until the cannons went off.) T and I looked at each other bleary-eyedly. "I hope Ips finds his thing," she said. "Me too," I said. I felt all warm inside. I put my arms around T's neck as we lay half-clothed under a blanket of slazlic, and I kissed her on the nose. She made a small noise of contentment in her throat, and we knew all was well with Kurt's toes. Thursday, February 12, 1981 Zorchan weather does not change. The magenta sky swirls around, but it never gets darker, overall, and things generally don't fall out of the sky on Zorch as they do on Earth. Morning was morning because that's when everyone got up. N looked around. Shelly was already up and conversing against the side of the tent with our Zorchan hosts. He sloshed over toward them. I lay on my back, fiddling around with the tent thing trying to make it turn all colors. The musician awakened and, sitting cross- legged, began cleaning his flute. N made his way back and wiggled in beside me. "It's been quite a knight we've had here," he said. "A knight and a day." And the musician began to play. Something Mendelssohn, I think. N kissed my nose, and I kissed his, and for several minutes we lay listening to the flute music. At length we struggled to our feet. Firefly and Ips were lost in each other, curled and uncurling and curling again, as the fountain sprinkled. Neva and Kali were lost with each other again, fingertips pressed, even blinking sporadically. Shelly and Clover had gone out. And N and I stood there, not daring to speak of the strong magic that neither of us understood, but propped, unknight-like, on each other like two weary chaperons after the Friday night football game dance. We were at a loss with each other. N finally took my hand, and we stood there for at least a dilrood, and he said, "I . . ." And I said, "Me too . . ." And he said, "But . . ." And I said, "Yeah, me too . . ." And he said, "Did you ever see Alice in Wonderland?" And I said, "Have you ever danced a Lobster Quadrille?" And he said, "Never in my purple and red plaid corduroys." So we joined both our hands and sang the Mock Turtle song and began the ritual of dance, however unlike a quadrille, and whether Lewis Carroll ever would have known the difference, I'll never know, but it worked. And as we bowed and circled and spun each other around the Zorchan tent a measure of Earth returned and for a dilrood more we swayed in time to the music of two dimensions and finally we too were lost, for a precious moment, inside each other's eyes. Th-12-F-81 When I first saw Mr. Blankeshield there in the land of blue-green loam and magenta swirl, he ran to me, yes ran, carrying his massive form across the soft, soft, soil. He ran like a Zorchan, without the usual clumsiness and weightiness of Earthans on the foreign turf. He fell upon the top three-fourths of me that was sticking out of the slazlic, and he kissed me on each cheek. Twice on each cheek. "My dear Mr. N!" he exclaimed. "How exquisite to see you again!" I stepped politely back from the Affectionate Colossus. "How do you do, Mr. Blankenshield?" I said. (Well, what would you say?) "Oh delightful! Simply delightful" he effused. We made our way back to Kali and Neva's tent; I sludged, and he effervesced his way along. As I entered the tent, Neva and T and Firefly were sitting together munching zansfara by the fountain. "Did you find him?" asked T. I pulled the flap further back to reveal the girth behind me. "He was just where Neva said he would be," I said. When he saw Ms. T, Mr. Blankenshield rushed in and lavished upon her the same show of love that he had earlier performed on me. Lifting his head from the second kiss on her left cheek, he spied the Firefly, and likewise delighted in her presence. Our Principal bubbled with such amazing affability that T could barely contain her laughter. Several times burst right out, and this made me laugh too. Mr. Blankenshield, unabashed, bubbled on. "We thought it would be fun," I said when Mr. B finally asked how and why we'd come to Zorch, "and we also hoped to bring you back. If you wanted to come, of course, that is." "Oh, back to Earth!" he said, his effervescence unflattened. "It will be nice to see all the folks again!" And then he said, "Oh, how I have missed balling Mrs. Casterbridge!" He looked from T to me, but our jaws were mostly resting in our laps. Only T could manage words at all. "Yeah, well, I can see how you would, uh, miss the people you're close to," she said and sort of laughed. F-13-F-81 This morning was one of those nearly spring mornings that, without actual cold, somehow recall the bitterest, darkest parts of mid-winter. Rubbing my eyes with one hand, I carried with the other the morning paper into my apartment. We got back from Zorch last night, and its loamy blue and its magenta swirl still lay just under my consciousness--the remembrance magnified by the subconscious after- image of the night's dreams. In the kitchen, hot black pep dripped out of Joe Coffee as I leafed through the paper to find "Doonesbury." I chanced upon an article about a man in prison. The first couple paragraphs explained that the convict had been in the Two Counties Over Federal Prison for forty years. His term having expired and the person being free, he had told officials that he wanted to stay. "It's the only life I know," said the man. There was a picture of him. He had a face of grey stubble, and a dull look in his eyes. When I got to school there was an official-looking letter in my mail box. It was terse and stern and reprimanded me for being AWOL from my classes most of Wednesday and all of Thursday. It further noted that circus sideshow tricks were inappropriate for the classroom and warned that "any further violations will result in termination." Mine, I suppose. I called the roll for homeroom 10Q, and handed the slip naming absentees to the office runner that came by. After homeroom I was called on to, of all things, actually teach somebody something. The group of mostly freshmen that I faced first period is called a "general science class." These were kids who had decided themselves that they weren't good enough in science to take the "physical science class" intended for students desiring, as the O.C.H.S. catalog put it, "a rigorous learning exploration of principles and precepts as they exist in our world." One might expect, then, that the alternative would involve study of some other world. "Hey, Mr. N," said the first general darlin to drift in. "That was a pretty neat magic trick you did Wednesday. Know any more?" "That substitute yesterday was mean; I hope she don't substitute for you no more. . . ." added another. And so on. I wanted to speak to these marvelously low-average ragamuffins about the science of Zorch, to weave for them a vision of a place where any event you can tell a plausible story for expecting to occur actually does occur, where whatever makes sense is true. My urge was to join with these beatific under-achievers to find what order reason can make, a quest in which no authority (not God or King, not Truth or Reason) can ever tell anyone in advance which methods will turn out to be "rational." The final tardy tone radiated coldly into my brooding. I looked up at the sullen faces and thought about what Zorch would mean to most of them. "What's he talking about?" "We aren't going to be tested on this are we?" "Whatcha been smoking this morning, Mr. N?" They feel that if they answer both roll call and the odd-numbered questions at the end of chapter 17, they have done all that science demands. And I just plain don't know how to show them there's more. Perhaps I'll find a way to reach some of them. In the meantime, there was roll to be called and the odd-numbered questions at the end of chapter 17 to take up and go over. ----------- The Last chapter of this novel will be published in the next issue of ModemNews Magazine coming to you, as always, on June 1, 1992 Writer's Block mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "writers_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp writers_1 The Mating Sounds of North American Frogs fxWIPE "writers_2" buttonUp buttonUp writers_2 The Philosopher's Stone fxWIPE "writers_3" buttonUp buttonUp writers_3 Aunt Amiga writers_1 writers_2 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE Roger Bacon A letter from a friend: Dear Roger, I was concerned to read your recent correspondence, particularly considering how much of it was devoted to espousing the cause of Christianity, which I had thought you too well educated and intelligent to give serious consideration to. I hope this does not signify that you are physically or mentally unwell? One finds that such conversions often follow hard upon the heels of some disaster or other or else occur imminent to the same. I have known you for a long time, through all the ups and downs of your chequered career but never had you struck me as one likely to fall prey to the insidious mix of myth, legend, historical romance and mysticism that was blended from the beliefs of a nomadic culture. The tenets of Judaism are mainly a subset of rituals and practices that had a certain validity for their time, particularly given the lack of hygiene and consequent prevalence of disease but the rest is a borrowed mish mash of Sumerian legend and Babylonian law as one would expect from a small tribe whose fortunes were shaped by adversity and conflict with their more powerful neighbors. It is one thing to claim that Christs existence has been established beyond any reasonable historical doubt but quite another to then go on to embrace his Divinity and suggest that the subsequent dubious moral, political, socio-economic twists and turns of that eclectic Faith are the worthy historical development of followers of some Divine Truth to which one should be willing to devote ones life. I cannot believe that you could be so naiive as to swallow all that, hook, line and sinker and therefore I can only assume that your circumstances have forced this upon you. One has only to look at the track record of Christians in general and Southern Baptists are as good an example as any, to see what a fraud they are, it is said that prostitutes always converge on towns holding Baptist conventions in anticipation of the increased trade and the recent televangelist scams should pretty much put the lid on any remaining doubts you might have. I am afraid that you are laying yourself wide open for exploitation at worst, disillusionment at best and I can only imagine that you are desperately clutching at straws because you feel the shadow of death is close by. If that is indeed the case I suggest you go right out and party, pick up some girls and have yourself as good a time as you can manage for what remains to you because once you die, thats it! Yours sincerely, Richard. Dear Richard, Thank you for your concern but no, to the best of my knowledge, there is nothing life threatening in my immediate future! As far as myths and legends go I assume you are referring to the epic of Gilgamesh regarding the Flood and the law of Hammurabi from which comes the infamous "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth" and there are several other incidents that, it is said, appear elsewhere in other versions. This does not invalidate the authenticity of either source and so far as the Bible is concerned, its reliability is more often confirmed than disproved and you can find this out for yourself so I wont waste space on it. Where the Bible is most often considered 'at fault' is in its description of events such as the Creation that appear to be at odds with established scientific theory or fact. Books such as Revelations come under a lot of fire too for what they describe which seems to be unlikely or fanciful. As I said, you can best refer to any number of well referenced and scholarly books that explain this much better than I can and the journey is likely to be of great interest if you are honest and approach it with a view to learning rather than as a bigot with an axe to grind in which case the attempt will prove fruitless. Whereas the Bible poses more questions than it answers and its been studied for thousands of years in one form or another, it also contains the cornerstones of Judao-Christian belief so that one need not be perplexed unless one choses to dive into waters too deep for ones intellect. I regard the Bible as a fundamental storehouse of human belief whose diverse witness, complexity and depth gives it an authenticity beyond doubt simply because of its testimony. That so many people, from so diverse a range of sources should have considered the message of eternal life so important as to add their witness to it, says more than any words about the Truth it holds. Jesus was the son of God. Thats all there is to it, as far as I am concerned. He lived and taught and died so that we could see the Truth of God and follow his example if we choose. The whole Bible is a series of exemplars about what happened to those who chose not to believe and one of the greatest of the apostles was a well educated, wealthy man who quite literally saw the light. I saw the light too. You havent known me for all that long, despite your well founded remarks about my chequered career, so you are probably unaware that I have been attending church in most of the places we've lived in, being nomads ourselves perhaps thats why it appeals to us! All those churches were filled with sinners of every stripe, including me but THAT IS WHY THEY ARE THERE! Of course the membership has its fair share of human weaknesses but God has promised us forgiveness and eternal life, if we will only strive to do our best, confess our sins, ask for forgiveness and help each other on the path to enlightenment. What you see as a collection of hypocrites, I see as a self help group for potential saints! Whereas you see death as the end, I see it as the beginning and I pray that you may come to see the path to eternity as a better road to travel. Yours sincerely Roger... Writer's Block mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "writers_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp writers_1 The Mating Sounds of North American Frogs fxWIPE "writers_2" buttonUp buttonUp writers_2 The Philosopher's Stone fxWIPE "writers_3" buttonUp buttonUp writers_3 Aunt Amiga writers_3 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Writer's Block mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "writers_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp writers_1 The Mating Sounds of North American Frogs fxWIPE "writers_2" buttonUp buttonUp writers_2 The Philosopher's Stone fxWIPE "writers_3" buttonUp buttonUp writers_3 Aunt Amiga Aunt Amiga Life by committee, not Aunty's favorite way to do things. This spring - look I don't care about your snow it's 89 degrees here, we turn on the air conditioners in April and that's all there is to it - Aunty has been at the mercy of others. Friends of the Carousel want horses painted, Puck has discovered girls, folks need letters answered and proposals submitted, and husband needs his suit finished. The band wants paper, the lawyer wants paper. Husband doesn't want paper i.e. tax receipts but I follow him around the house with them anyway. We always have the same conversation. "No it's not skewed, April 10 then April 11 then April 12 then.... that's the way it's always been." "No I do NOT think Bush sent March to the Russians." Which brings us to politics. Were Clinton as bad as the "yankees" make out we'd have taken care of him a while back. Somebody that did all that would have "needed killin'" a legal defense here in the South. The obverse of the do-right coin. While I spend these days as a flippant journalist I paid my dues on hard news and would have been fired had I burried the "information" in paragraph 11 or 24 that the headline was 100% wrong. The infestation of bore-worm paper pests has been astonishing. They are paying big bucks for any tale, the more outrageous the more money. Unfortunately gulling the outlanders has become such sport that they are beginning to catch on and ruin our fun. Jabba-the-Hearst our local wanna-pundit, who finally destroyed the Gannett monster by threatening to eat him, and, able himself to give the truth whiplash has begun to defend our curly headed home boy. There is one truth about Bill Clinton that the voters discover without any headlines. The man loves this country and cares about the people in it and will do whatever he can to make it great again and a good safe home for everybody. As we say here in Arkansas you "cain't beat that with a stick". As for rascals currently serving they are making another run at our God given right to communi-pute. HB 3515 basically will allow phone companies to charge business rates - or indeed any amount they want for BBS lines. There are several court cases in Texas including PUC docket #8387. BUT if HB 3515 is passed any local rulings will be gone with the wind - much like the last of our dinars. So loveys remember it's your right to make your voice heard and if you choose not to vote keep your mouth closed on a certain Wednesday morning in November. Aunt Amiga is Dorothy Hall of Pine Bluff, ARRRdocket #8387. BUT if HB 3515 is passed any local rulings will be gone with the wind - much like the last of our dinars. So loveys remember it's your right to make your voice heard and if you choose not to vote keep your mouth closed on a certain Wednesday morning in November. Aunt Amiga is Dorothy Hall of Pine Bluff, AR writers_3 roundabout_2 newsstand 1 roundabout "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Roundabout! roundpop Roundabout! is where we present our monthly computer related columns. You'll see "RandY's RumOr RaG" and "Vaporware" on a regular basis. third slot is available for your writings. We are always looking for a third regular monthly column. mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "roundabout_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp roundabout_1 RandY's RumOr RaG fxWIPE "roundabout_2" buttonUp buttonUp roundabout_2 Vaporware fxWIPE "roundabout_3" buttonUp buttonUp roundabout_3 TimeLine of Apple History (part 1) ButtonUp fxWIPE "face" ButtonUp ButtonUp News in yer Face roundabout_1 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One RAndY's RumOR RaG WINDOWS NEWS Microsoft says they're ready to ship between 1.5 million and 2 million copies of Windows 3.1 when the shipping date arrives. In an unusual arrangement, Microsoft has shipped 1 million copies directly to Federal Express for April 6th delivery. When that date comes, the equivalent of 15 Boeing 747's will deliver about 200,000 copies to users who preordered from Microsoft. They also plan to ship six foreign language versions at the same time. Interestingly, the package now says "operating system", as opposed to the previous "graphical environment". You may have heard about the feud between Microsoft and Digital Research. Microsoft is refusing to help DRI make DR-DOS compatible with Windows 3.1. The word is that DRI/Novell have programmers in England working on a graphical operating system (Windows clone). Microsoft is concerned that this clone will come to market before they can get Windows NT out. I don't think they should be too concerned given the track record for DRI. --------------- Pundits are wondering why Microsoft shipped the new PowerPoint without traditional beta testing like their other recent products. The common opinion is that they didn't want any leaks, but some suspect that the product may be weak and unimpressive. --------------- WordPerfect is expected to ship WordPerfect Mail for Windows this quarter. The company has also previewed a future Windows- based WordPerfect Office. A portion of Office for Windows that is already in working order is called Notify, an events applications that alerts other users if incoming and outgoing messages as well as appointments via audio or visual alarms. An announcement date has not yet been set. --------------- Within 30 days of the shipping of Windows 3.1, Hewlett-Packard will send out version 4 of NewWave. Look for additions to its "agents" feature including a forms-type interface option for agent tasks and the ability to link more than one agent task. --------------- Still waiting for Quattro Pro for Windows, but beta testers say it's getting closer. Testers report that it could be a powerful opponent to 1-2-3 and Excel with drag-and-drop functionality, easy to understand notebook metaphor, and compatibility with existing 1-2-3 formats. --------------- Expect to see an enhanced 32-bit video controller soon from Western Digital. This is not a board, but a GUI accelerated desktop VGA controller, a result of extensive cooperation between Western Digital and Microsoft. --------------- Inset Systems is introducing HiJaak for Windows ($249). This utility lets users manipulate graphics and offers conversion capabilities. The software uses OLE technology and users can easily incorporate its capabilities into other applications. Included are vector-to-vector and vector-to-raster conversions for 15 different vector graphics formats. The Multiple Document Interface allows simultaneous viewing of multiple images. --------------- The announcement should have been made by the time this is published and the product is expected to ship late this spring - Procomm Plus for Windows. (YES!) The product will have all the functionality of the DOS version with enhancements such as more powerful keyboard mapping and the ability to view GIFs as you're downloading. --------------- June is the expected shipping date for Microsoft's long- awaited Windows database program, Cirrus. --------------- INTEL NEWS There's a lot happening with Intel right now. Expect to see the introduction of the 25/50 and 33/66 486 doubler chips by the time you read this. The official name for these dual speed chips is 486DX2. Enhancements through retail channels will be carry the Overdrive moniker. As a retail product, Intel plans to provide both the chip and a chip puller. Sometime this summer, Intel is scheduled to release the P5 or 586 processor. This chip will have a 64-bit architecture including a 64-bit external bus. Initially, the 586 will have a 66mhz clock speed and perform at 40 MIPS. It will have two identical processing units and two banks of cache memory (kind of like two 486 chips). (Because of the two processing units, the chip will be able to execute two instructions simultaneously.) The 586 will be binary compatible and have 5 to 7 times faster floating performance, and provide error correction and fault tolerance. Along with the P5, Intel is getting a dual P5 module ready which will be a small add-in board with two P5 chips for multi- processing systems. The dual P5 module will be available next year. Not one to be sitting idle, Intel is already working the P6 or --------------- While I'm talking about the 586, Intel is looking for a release early next year of a low-end 32-bit version of the 80586 processor which could plug directly into 486DX sockets. They're also launching an aggressive single-chip upgrade program to allow 486-based systems to be upgraded to a range of performance levels in the 5868 family by simply swapping chips. This lower cost 586 will allow 486 systems running Windows to have the equivalent of two processors running applications simultaneously. Performance is estimated at three times that of the 486DX-50. --------------- LOTUS NEWS Sometime this spring, Lotus will take on Microsoft in the software bundling game with the introduction of SmartSuite. This package will contain Freelance Graphics, Ami Pro 2, cc:Mail, and an upgraded 1-2-3/W with new audio training materials and merged documentation. Suggested price will be $895. The original ship date was January, then they delayed it until mid-April, but now it's anybody's guess. Meanwhile, it looks like Lotus is taking some cues from Borland. They are planning a performance upgrade for 1-2-3 for Windows this spring, then another release with built-in groupware capabilities later in the year. --------------- LOW-END NETWORK Microsoft is once again taking a stab at Novell, this time with a low-end peer-to-peer Windows designed to battle NetWare Lite and LANtastic. This is an alternative Windows known as Sparta. It will include electronic mail, group scheduling capabilities, and a real time chat feature. Users can designate a directory as sharable and other users can access files in that subdirectory. The program only requires 10K to 20K of RAM. Windows Sparta will work with network adapters that conform to the Network Device Interface Specification. Sparta will not replace Windows, but users who want to network their PCs would buy it instead of Windows 3 or 3.1. Microsoft also has asked hardware developers to simplify networking under Windows by building Ethernet and Token Ring into PC motherboards. Microsoft also discussed the availability of low cost hub cards and the redesign of printers, modems, and upgrade kits to help make Windows network-ready. Availability of Sparta is scheduled for the end of 1992. --------------- PARADOX 4 COMING SOON While we're waiting for the Windows version of Paradox, Borland continues work on the DOS product. Paradox 4 has not yet gone into beta testing, but will add support for memo fields, optimized query performance, and event trapping. It will also read more data formats including DBF files. Query performance will be boosted by 35%-40% and possibly more in some multiuser situations. Beta copies should ship soon and the product is expected to ship by late June. --------------- QUATTRO PRO 4 This latest version of Borland's Lotus killer is now shipping. Gone is the mouse menu on the right side of the screen, and it's been replaced with a Speedbar (similar to Excel). My only complaint is that you still have to load your mouse driver before starting the program. I suggest that Borland and others take a cue from WordPerfect's DOS program (among others) that have mouse support built in. Finally included are auditing tools, a part of Quattro Pro that has suffered in the past. Particularly impressive are new graphing tools which let you change the way your data is analyzed without returning to the spreadsheet and manipulating your data. For example, if you have a sheet with daily totals entered, you can switch between analyzing the numbers on a monthly basis, quarterly, weekly, or whatever without going back to your worksheet and messing with the numbers. The WYSIWYG tends to extract a price in performance. This was first noticed on Version 3 and it's better with Version 4. But, the screen just "looks funny" to me for some reason. Graphing is good with the addition of something called a Bubble graph. Who dreams this stuff up? Borland is finally shipping the software on high density disks; others please take notice. Of course, Lotus compatibility seems well done. As I've said in the past, if you have to use a DOS-based spreadsheet, go with Quattro Pro. --------------- PROFESSIONAL TOOLKIT FOR VISUAL BASIC As you read this, Microsoft should be shipping a set of add- ons to extend interface control and programming options for Visual Basic. Included are support for OLE, multiple document interfaces, and multimedia and pen interfaces. This stand-alone product will carry a suggested price of $299, but for a limited time will sell for an introductory price of $99. It will also be bundled with Visual Basic for $495 (list price). Several shrink-wrapped applications developed with Visual Basic are also going to be released soon, but Microsoft is tight lipped. Microsoft has already used Visual Basic in internal development including Project 3. --------------- NEW AST MULTIPROCESSING BOX You remember AST? They're the guys who sell proprietary hardware at outrageous prices. They've been recently showing off their new MicroFrame, a multiple processing computer. According to AST, users will be able to swap RISC and Intel processors as the main CPUs. They say that this is a machine that will be "support- intensive" and some sort of reseller rights are being contemplated. The computer will run up to four processors and include error correction code, Redundant Arrays of Inexpensive Disks (RAID) hardware and redundant power supplies. Initially, AST will release the box using Intel 486-50 processors, and RISC configurations will follow only if the market demands them (and if more RISC software becomes available). The processor boards tie into a common 64-bit backplane. Said a spokesman, "the system is designed around a series of cards. There is no motherboard." The machine is designed with an EISA I/O bus that ties into the backplane and includes five SCSI channels. To permit processor interchangeability, AST is planning to implement Extended BIOS. The BIOS will initially support SCO MPX and eventually other multiprocessing operating systems. There are plans by AST to support Windows NT, since Microsoft is expected to include multiprocessing technology in that product. The machine is expected to be available in June with an entry- level price of about $25,000. --------------- OS/2 NEWS Jeez, now I've got to devote a section to OS/2 - where is the world going? Anyway, it looks like the shipping version of OS/2 2.0 will be on 20 disks!! Just to get 1 million copies out the door is going to take 20 million disks!! I hear that you can expect to see an OS/2 2.1 shortly after the release, hopefully free. The 2.1 release is expected to feature more condensed code. IBM will begin electronic distribution of OS/2 2 to customers and distributors on March 31 with shrink-wrapped retail copies shipping in the following two weeks. Windows support will only be on machines with VGA, SVGA and XGA support will follow later, as will the 32-bit graphics engine developed by Micrografx. The later update will also feature support for Windows 3.1. The upgrade is expected to be provided by IBM this summer in a Corrective Service Diskette (I love these IBM monikers). --------------- At the IBM introduction of OS/2 on April 6th (who picked that date?), Lotus will demonstrate 1-2-3 for OS/2 2.0. They will also announce their intentions to deliver 32-bit versions of Ami Pro, Freelance Graphics, and cc:Mail for OS/2 this year along with a 32- bit Notes for OS/2 scheduled for a year end release. IBM is also working with Lotus to preload 1-2-3 on PS/2 computers along with the OS/2 operating system (they must have huge hard drives). (DeScribe is negotiating with IBM on a similar deal with their 32-bit version of their word processor due out April 1.) This version of 1-2-3 will feature SmartIcons, the same Solver as 1-2-3/G, Datalens access to OS/2's database manager, and a draw layer that lets users annotate and create charts right on the spreadsheet. --------------- One of my suppliers has a service where I can call on the modem and order products. I can also check inventory to see if something is in stock or get an updated price. About a week before the release date for Windows 3.1 and OS/2 2.0, I called and checked on stock quantities. Windows 3.1 was backordered over 14,400 copies and OS/2 was backordered less than 100. Hmmm... Current OS/2 users will get a free upgrade, Windows users will pay $49, and DOS upgrades will be $99. Suggested retail price will be $195. --------------- MICROSOFT BUYS FOX You've read about it in the papers and seen interviews on TV concerning the proposed acquisition by Microsoft of Fox Software. The outspoken Mr. Gates of Microsoft said that Fox's FoxPro line of xBase development tools were "the most undermarketed products in the PC software business". After news of the proposed acquisition hit the streets, Borland's stock dropped $7.25 while Microsoft's rose. (On the day of the announcement, Philippe Kahn said that Borland's new Paradox products could ship as late as August.) This has got to be egg on the face to Philippe & Co. and when asked why Borland didn't buy FoxPro, Dave Fulton (President of Fox) said, "Borland didn't approach us". The immediate plans are to drop the Fox corporate name, boost international sales of FoxPro, and extend the product's presence in the Macintosh markets. This puts Microsoft in a strong position in the relational database market. Users familiar with Fox products say that if Microsoft takes advantage of FoxPro's fast technology, it could threaten Borland's database market. Insiders wonder about Microsoft's coming Windows database product, Cirrus, in light of Fox's soon to be released FoxPro for Windows. ================================= DISCLAIMER RAndY's RumOR RaG is published on a monthly basis by AINSWORTH COMPUTER SERVICES and is available on various BBS's, GEnie, and America Online as well as in ModemNews. In case anyone cares, RAndY's RumOR RaG is produced on a DTK 386-33 with 16 megs of memory, Cyrix Fasmath co-processor, ATI VGA Wonder+ card (1 MB), 105 MB Toshiba IDE hard drive, Teac 1.2 MB, 360K, and 1.44 MB floppies, Sceptre SVGA display, Microsoft mouse, WordPerfect for Windows and transmitted through a US Robotics HST Dual Standard modem. Opinions expressed are those of the author. Comments should be addressed to Ainsworth Computer Services on GEnie, America Online, phone, analog mail, or whatever method makes you feel good. AINSWORTH COMPUTER SERVICES 605 W. Wishkah Aberdeen, WA 98520-6031 (206) 533-6647 GEnie Address: RAG America Online: RumOR RaGGline: RumOR RaG Roundabout! mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "roundabout_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp roundabout_1 RandY's RumOr RaG fxWIPE "roundabout_2" buttonUp buttonUp roundabout_2 Vaporware fxWIPE "roundabout_3" buttonUp buttonUp roundabout_3 TimeLine of Apple History (part 1) ButtonUp fxWIPE "face" ButtonUp ButtonUp News in yer Face roundabout_1 roundabout_2 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One VAPORWARE by Murphy Sewall These are rumors folks; we reserve the right to be dead wrong! Super Bowl Revisited. Apple's marketing suits want to introduce the next generation of RISC-based Apple PowerPC's on January 20, 1994. That's the tenth anniversary of the introduction of the Macintosh with the famous "1984" Super Bowl commercial. Although the advertising agencies have nearly two years to try and match that singular commercial, the engineers are dubious about their part. An actual version of proposed CPU won't be available until late this year at the earliest. Fine tuning and testing the Taligent operating system for the new box in under fourteen months just doesn't seem very likely. - MacWeek 10 February Windows Compatible. The notion of "IBM compatible" no longer has much practical meaning. So, this month Microsoft will launch a logo campaign certifying PCs as "Windows compatible" (one logo for machines that can run Windows and another for machines sold with Windows pre-installed). Microsoft and Zif Davis Publishing also are developing a benchmark, dubbed the "Winstone," to rate how fast Windows runs on a PC. But, will be possible to calculate Winstone equivalents for Macintoshes and Sun workstations? - PC Week 3 February Standard Text Services. Many computer users find they are using valuable hard drive space on multiple dictionaries for different word processing, desktop publishing, and other editing programs. Now more than a dozen developers including Aldus, Baseline, Claris, Deneba, T/Maker, and Word Perfect have met to review an Apple events suite that will allow users to select single spell checker, thesaurus, hyphenation, and grammar checking packages to use with all applications requiring such text utilities. - MacWeek 27 January Compound Documents. Apple has unveiled a new file formatting standard named "Bento" (a Japanese term for "boxed lunch"). Bento will let documents contain different types of data (text, graphics, sounds, tables, and so forth) tagged so that applications can find and use only the portions they recognize. - MacWeek 20 January Penned up. Although pen-based computers have been greatly touted (see September 1990, April and August 1991, and last January's columns) only a small number of the products introduced at last Fall's Comdex have shipped. Bob Owens, director of marketing communications for Poquet, believes that "the lead time to develop a core of broad-based applications will probably go into 1993..." - InfoWorld 10 February Coming Attractions. January's Demo '92 Conference featured a demonstrations of Lotus's groupenabling for spreadsheets and a 3-D interface for the Macintosh. Chronicle by Lotus will be an enhancement to existing spreadsheets which permits alternative values to ranges (with time and date stamps). Chronicle simplifies the process of specifying "what-if" scenarios. Vitrus Vision from North Carolina's Vitrus Corporation permits Macintosh users to simply create and navigate through three-dimensional front ends for existing applications. Apple demonstrated a QuickTime program which can be used with a video camera to create a "virtual space" and navigate through it. Apple also demonstrated handwriting and speech recognition tools that are planned as future extensions for System 7. New Chip Technology. Indiumphosphide could be a major advance over Silicon as a basis for computer chips. Indiumphosphide can be perform the same functions as Silicon with the added advantages of being faster and also able to focus laser beams used in optic fiber communications. Currently, manufacture of Indiumphosphide wafers is not cost competitive with Silicon, but several research laboratories are at work on the problem. As usual, American efforts are largely independent while the Japanese have mounted a nationally coordinated research effort to develop commercial applications. - CNN Science and Technology Today 1 February Lightweight. Apple has been talking to Sharp about incorporating some of the Sharp Wizard's calendar and phone book technology into its forthcoming Personal Digital Assistants (see last September's column). The less than one pound device also is expected to have pen-input and a price under $600. - PC Week 10 February Heavyweight. BitWise Designs is readying a 50 MHz i486 portable with a 1,280 by 1,024 pixel, 21 inch gas plasma display. The 21 by 18 by 7 inch Excelsior will ship with 8 MByte of RAM (expandable to 32 MByte), four ISA expansion slots, and a 180 MByte hard disk. At 38 pounds, this $10,000 to $15,000 device is more luggable than portable. - PC Week 10 February ACE For Real. Silicon Graphics intends to begin shipping high end ($28,000 to $43,000) graphics workstations based on the MIPS R4000 CPU this month. These workstations will be the first computers built around the RISC chip selected by the ACE Consortium (see last May's column). Industry observers expect to see volume shipments of other R4000 workstations in the 60 SPECmark range (roughly 10 to 12 times the power of a Macintosh Quadra or a 50 MHz i486 PC) for under $10,000 by September. - InfoWorld 3 February Mainframe Windows. Microsoft and DEC are negotiating over a Windows NT implementation for DEC's Alpha chip (64-bit RISC processor) which will be the heart of Digital's forthcoming new systems to replace the aging installed base of VAX minicomputers. Windows NT for the Alpha series would compete directly with the ACE Consortium's MIPS R4000 version. Among the details under consideration is whether DEC would be able to sublicense the port of Windows NT to Cray Research. Cray has been examining the Alpha chip among others for a proposed line of massively parallel processing machines. One tipster swears he's seen a beta of Windows NT running on a Macintosh. - PC Week 20 and 27 January Windows 3.1 The planned launch date for Microsoft Windows 3.1 is April 6 (see last months column). - InfoWorld 3 February The NeXTstep. NeXTstep 486 (see January's column) is expected in the third quarter for $995. A $3,495 NeXT Color PostScript Level 2 bubblejet printer should ship in the second quarter, and NeXT's own version 3.0 is due before summer. CEO Steve Jobs also announced a new NeXT family built around the 33 MHz Motorola 68040 CPU. - MacWeek 27 January Object Oriented Spreadsheet. Lotus corporation has a complete, object oriented rewrite of it's core spreadsheet product underway. The current 1-2-3 Windows is essentially character-based code with a Windows interface. The new product, codenamed Walden, is described as "graphical to the bone." Among the key features will be visually oriented scripting, ability to organize data and objects using a book metaphor, and Chronicle technology (see above). The target release date is year's end, but knowledgeable insiders say that Walden is a 1993 (or later) product. However, some Walden features may appear in a 1-2-3 for Windows upgrade by midsummer. - PC Week 20 January Quattro Pro 4.0 Beta testers describe the forthcoming Quattro Pro 4.0 for DOS as an industrial strength two dimensional spreadsheet. New features include a customizable button bar and Novell network support. Even so, version 4.0 is not a competitor to Quattro Pro for Windows which features a three dimensional metaphor. - InfoWorld 27 January Excel 4.0 Microsoft plans to ship another upgrade to its popular Macintosh spreadsheet in July. Among the new features will be: a customizable floating toolbar, drag and drop ranges of cells, spreadsheet workbooks, an intelligent auto-fill command, and a "scenario manager" for "what if" comparisons. - PC Week 3 February and MacWeek 10 February SAS For Windows. SAS Institute has begun beta testing its entire line of data analysis and decision support products for Windows. Pricing will start at $895 for a first year license renewable for $395. - PC Week 3 February Intel Processor Blitz. Intel plans to introduce 30 new processors by the end of the year. Most will be variants of the company's 80386 and i486 lines, but two versions of the next generation i586 (codenamed P5) CPU are due in sample quantities by late summer. the 586 will contain 3 million transistors and hum along at 100 MIPS. Intel President and CEO Andrew Grove expects the introduction of the i586 at the high end will soon lead to 32-bit 80386 PC's for under $1,000. - PC Week 27 January and InfoWorld 10 February System 7 Lite? Apple's CD-ROM consumer products (see last month's column) will ship with a new version of System 6 with a Finder that mimics many of System 7's features (aliases, custom icons, expanded Apple menu, and drag and drop application launching). Office oriented features, such as personal file sharing and publish and subscribe will not be included. Currently referred to as the "SE Plus," the under $2,000 system is designed around the Motorola 68020 CPU. - InfoWorld 20 January and MacWeek 10 February OS/2 Heavy? The shrink wrapped (release) version 2.0 of OS/2 will gobble up 25 MBytes of hard disk. A "minimal" version can be squeezed into a svelte 18 MBytes (and Macintosh users complain about how hard it is to make a bootable System 7 floppy disk). Tom Steele, director of IBM's Personal Programming Center, has indicated that the March 31 shipping date will slip if major problems are detected in the remaining beta testing. Don't look for any third party device drivers though because IBM hasn't made developer kits available. - InfoWorld 10 and 17 February IBM Notebook Delayed. Big Blue postponed the expected 25 February introduction of it's 16 MHz 386SX notebook until the end of March in order to review the machine's market and price position. One criticism of the notebook is that it's underpowered relative to the mostly 20 MHz competition. Along with the notebook, IBM plans to introduce an 11 pound 20 MHz 386SX color laptop. The company hopes to keep the color model's list price with 4 MBytes of RAM and an 80 MByte hard drive under $8,000. - PC Week 10 February and InfoWorld 17 February Wireless Networks. Motorola is promising to ship the DOS version of its WaveGuide wireless communications toolkit (see the March 1991 column) by the end of the winter. The Mac version will ship later this year. - InfoWorld 20 January Volume Retailing. Compaq has decided not to field a model to be marketed by mail order, but remains committed to low-cost desktop and notebook computers. The outlet for Apple's "consumer products" (see last month's column and above) seems likely to be Sears. - InfoWorld and MacWeek 3 February Video Processing in a Mail Order i486. Dell Computer will begin shipping an i486-based computer with built in video processing by midyear. The video option will add less than $1,000 to the price of the machines. On site maintenance will be available nationwide from BancTec Services. - InfoWorld 3 February New Graphics Packages. Adobe plans to ship Illustrator 4.0 for Windows in the second quarter. The Windows version will be compatible with Illustrator files made on other platforms and include editing in preview mode, context sensitive help, and enhanced color support. The $695 program, which competes with CorelDraw, will be bundled with Adobe Type Manager, Adobe Type Align, Adobe Separator, 40 typefaces, and a selection of patterns symbols and borders. The upgrade from an earlier Windows version will be $99. Meanwhile, CorelDraw 3.0 is in beta. The program with improved presentation capabilities will debut this summer. - InfoWorld 27 January and 17 February April Macattractions. The April debut of the Macintosh LC II (aka the LC/30) is old news by now (see last month's column), but late word is that new software will be needed for the Apple //e card, and because the card isn't System 7 compatible, the LC's ROM will accept 6.0.8. Apple also will introduce an 80 MByte hard drive for the PowerBook 140 and 170, and Word Perfect will ship LetterPerfect for the Macintosh ($199). Even though LetterPerfect won't have as many features as Mac WordPerfect 2.1, it will have spell checking, a thesaurus, and be able to wrap text around graphics. A/UX 3.0 with full System 7 support also will ship in April (free on CD-ROM to users who purchased A/UX 2.1 after 30 October 1991). A/UX 4.0 (merged with IBM's AIX) based on the Open Systems Foundation UNIX kernel is planned for 1993 or '94. - InfoWorld 20 January and MacWeek 27 January and 17 February Not Coming Soon. In May, Apple will finally release an alpha version of the printing architecture originally described in 1989 (for System 7). The public won't be able to drop documents onto desktop printer icons until sometime next year. The new, considerably faster LaserWriter driver (see last November's column), originally promised for this spring is delayed until summer. The new driver should be worth the wait; the Print Manager also is being rewritten to produce PostScript code more quickly. Performance improvements are alleged to be up to ten times quicker for PostScript Level 2 printers. The Quadra 950 (33 MHz 68040) won't ship in April (see last month's column) as originally planned. Motorola is experiencing terrible yields on the 33 MHz '040 chips. Even the most recent August introduction date remains in doubt. Some key members of Claris's MacWrite Pro development team have left recently. Claris still hopes to release the upgrade originally planned for last October by midsummer. Apple finall gave key developers a briefing on its AppleScript (see last December's column) last January. A user product is still "many months" away. - MacWeek 3 and 10 February and a note in my electronic mailbox Solaris Ship Date in Jeopardy. Industry publications are now confirming this column's report last November that SunSoft's Solaris 2.0 is "riddled with bugs" that are unlikely to be fixed in time for its scheduled June shipping date. CEO Scott McNealy's assertion that the new operating system will ship or "heads will roll" even sounds like deja vu from the earlier report. The ship date for the Intel version has already slipped from the first half of the year until the third quarter. - InfoWorld 17 February Not Coming At All. Lotus has decided not to ship the Windows version of Magellan on the grounds that they don't want to be in the low-end utilities business. Apparently, the company also is unwilling to sell the program back to developer Bill Gross. - InfoWorld 17 February More System 7 Tune-ups. Apple plans to offer several more system extensions, including OCE - Open Collaboration Environment, the new print architecture (above), Mac-PC Exchange (see last month's column), and possibly another bug fixing "Tune Up" later this year. A major system update (System 7.1?) won't be released until sometime next year. However, another full system update (7.0.2?) may be released with Apple's new models in order to support "CPU update" extensions. - MacWeek 17 February More PostScript Level 2 Clones. Pipeline Associates and Destiny Technology have announced they will join Phoenix Technology (see January's column) in producing Level 2 compatible PostScript interpreters for printers scheduled for introduction later this year (as early as May). - MacWeek 3 February New PaintWriter. Hewlett Packard plans to replace its 180 dpi color inkjet printer with a 300 dpi PaintWriter next month. The new unit will include PostScript Level 2. - PC Week 3 February From the March 1992 APPLE PULP H.U.G.E. Apple Club (E. Hartford) News Letter $24/year P.O. Box 18027 East Hartford, CT 06118 Call the "Bit Bucket" (203) 257-9588 Permission granted to redistribute with the above citationnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Roundabout! mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "roundabout_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp roundabout_1 RandY's RumOr RaG fxWIPE "roundabout_2" buttonUp buttonUp roundabout_2 Vaporware fxWIPE "roundabout_3" buttonUp buttonUp roundabout_3 TimeLine of Apple History (part 1) ButtonUp fxWIPE "face" ButtonUp ButtonUp News in yer Face roundabout_3 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One TIMELINE A History of Apple Computer January 1976 Steve Wozniak (26) is working at Hewlett-Packard and Steve Jobs (21) is at Atari. March 1976 Wozniak and Jobs finish work on a preassembled computer circuit board. It has no keyboard, case, sound or graphics. They call it the Apple I. April 1976 Wozniak and Jobs form the Apple Computer Company on April Fool's Day. The Apple I debuts at the Homebrew Computer Club in Palo Alto, California. May 1976 Jobs sells his VW van and Wozniak sells his Hewlett-Packard programmable calculator, raising $1,350 to finance ion of the Apple I boards. The Byte Shop computer store orders 50 Apple I boards. Jobs leverages the order to get credit so they can build the machines in Jobs' parents' garage. June 1976 Apple retains Regis McKenna Advertising to represent Apple Computer. July 1976 The Apple I board is released for sale to hobbyists and electronics enthusiasts at the price of $666.66. August 1976 Jobs meets venture capitalist Don Valentine through Atari founder Nolan Bushnell. Valentine will refer Jobs to Mike Markkula, who had previously managed for Intel Corp. and Fairchild Semiconductor. November 1976 Apple's first formal business plan sets a goal for sales to grow to $500 million in ten years. As it turns out, the company will pass that mark in half the time. December 1976 Apple I computer boards are sold through 10 retail stores in the U.S. January 1977 Apple Computer is incorporated by Jobs, Wozniak and their new partner and chairman, Mike Markkula. In addition to plotting its strategy, Markkula invests $250,000 in the fledgling enterprise. Additional financing will come later from a group of venture capitalists that include Venrock Associates, Arthur Rock and Associates and Capital Management Corp. Apple moves from Job's garage to a building on Stevens Creek Boulevard in Cupertino, California. February 1977 Markkula asks Michael Scott to accept the position of Apple's president. Scott becomes a driving force behind Apple during its fastest growing years. April 1977 The new Apple II is unveiled at the first West Coast Computer Faire. It is the first personal computer able to generate color graphics and includes a keyboard, power supply and attractive case. At the show Apple rents the largest booth and uses a large projection screen for demonstrations. Markkula walks the floor, signing up dealers. The Apple logo as seen today is designed by Rob Janoff, art director for Regis McKenna Advertising. May 1977 Regis McKenna Advertising launches its first ad campaign for Apple. Although advertising is initially aimed at electronics enthusiasts, Apple will soon become the first company to advertise personal computers in consumer magazines. June 1977 The Apple II is now available to the general public. Fully assembled and pretested, it includes 4K of standard memory, and comes equipped with two game paddles and a demo cassette. The price is $1,298. Customers use their own TV set as a monitor and store programs on audio cassette recorders. Monthly orders reach a $1 million annual sales rate. First Apple shipped to Europe through an independent distributor called Eurapple. January 1978 Apple moves into its new headquarters at 10260 Bandley Drive in Cupertino. Over the years, a campus of Apple office buildings will spring up around it. March 1978 Apple introduces various interface cards for connecting to most printers. June 1978 Apple's Disk II is introduced at the Consumer Electronics Show. It is the easiest to use, lowest priced, and fastest minifloppy disk drive ever offered by a computer manufacturer. It will make possible the development of serious software. production at first is handled by just two employees, turning out 30 drives a day. Apple announces telephone linkup services to Dow Jones and Company for Apple II users. December 1978 In only its second year, Apple is one of the fastest growing companies in America. Sales have increased tenfold, and its dealer network has grown to over 300. February 1979 President Mike Scott declares that Apple should set an example for businesses everywhere, and issues a company-wide mandate: "No more typewriters." June 1979 Apple II+ is introduced, available with 48K of memory and a new auto-start ROM for easier startup and screen editing for $1,195. Apple Education Foundation is founded. Its goal is to grant complete Apple systems to schools who wish to develop new classroom soft- ware and integrate computers into their curriculum. Apple's first printer, the Silentype, is introduced. Apple announces a nationwide repair program featuring same-day service. The first Dealer Council convenes. Designed to get dealer input without breaking the FTC rules on competition, it will be widely copied by other manufacturers in the personal computer industry. August 1979 Apple II Pascal is released. October 1979 Personal Software, Inc. releases VisiCalc for the Apple II. The spreadsheet is the first application to make personal computers a practical tool for people who don't know how to write their own programs. The International Apple Core, an independent umbrella organization for user groups, is formed in San Francisco. December 1979 Apple introduces a low cost, one-year extended warranty for all Apple hardware and software. Apple II sales rate is at 35,000 units, up 400 percent from 1978. Apple now employs 250 people working out of four buildings. March 1980 Apple Fortran introduced. Proves to be a catalyst for high-level technical and educational applications. June 1980 Regional support centers open in Boston, MA; Charlotte, NC; Irvine, CA; Carrollton, TX and Toronto, Canada. July 1980 Apple facilities occupy more than half a million square feet of floor space in the U.S. and Europe. Apple opens a manufacturing plant in Carrollton, TX. September 1980 Apple III announced at the National Computer Conference. With a new operating system, a built-in disk controller and four peripheral slots priced at $3,495, the Apple III is the most advanced system in the company s history. Apple opens a plant in Cork, Ireland and a European support Manufacturing center in Zeist, The Netherlands. November 1980 Apple II chosen as the network access machine for EDUNET an international computer network for higher education and research. December 1980 Apple goes public. Morgan Stanley and Co. and Hambrecht & Quist underwrite on initial public offering of 4.6 million shares of Apple common stock at a price of $22 per share. Every share is bought within minutes of the offering, making this the largest public offering since Ford went public in 1956. Apple's employee count breaks 1,000. Apple Seed announced, a computer literacy program that will provide elementary and high schools with computer course materials. Apple's distribution network is the largest in the industry, 800 independent retailers in the U.S. and Canada, plus 1,000 outlets abroad. January 1981 R&D budget jumps to $21 million, three times more than the year before. Apple announces a Loan-To-Own program for employees. Each employee can borrow an Apple II+ to use at home. After one year, the computer becomes theirs to keep. February 1981 Mike Scott authorizes the layoff of 40 employees in an effort to streamline Apple internal machinery. Chiat/Day Advertising acquires the Apple account when it acquires Regis McKenna's advertising operations. European headquarters open in Paris, France and Slough, England. March 1981 Top management restructured. Mike Markkula replaces Mike Scott as president; Steve Jobs succeeds Markkula as chairman; Scott named vice chairman. Apple Expo 81 is launched = the company's first national merchandising roadshow. April 1981 Accessory products Division formed to handle ion of printers, modems and other peripherals. May 1981 Apple Language Card introduced. It allows Apple II users to run programs in either Pascal, Fortran or Pilot. IEEE-488 interface card announced. Apple II computers may now be linked to over 1,400 scientific and technical instruments. Second offering of 2.6 million shares of common stock is completed. July 1981 Apple begins to air commercials featuring Dick Cavett as spokesman. Manufacturing plant opens in Singapore. August 1981 International Business Machines introduces the IBM Personal Computer. Apple greets its new competitor with a full-page ad in the Wall Street Journal with a headline that reads, "Welcome IBM. Seriously." September 1981 Apple's first mass storage system, the 5MB ProFile hard disk is introduced, priced at $3,499. November 1981 There are now about 3,000 Apple dealers worldwide, a third of which are authorized service centers. First annual report notes that the Apple II installed base has grown to well over 300,000; that employees now number about 2,500; and that Apple has introduced over 40 new software programs this year. Apple becomes a household name. Surveys show that public awareness rose from 10 percent to 80 percent in 1981. January 1982 R&D budget increases 81 percent over last year to $38 million. More than 100 companies are making personal computers. Apple has an installed base of more than 650,000 units; 10,000 Apple software programs offered by more than 1,000 developers; 60 companies producing Apple II peripherals. July 1982 Apple Dot Matrix printer introduced for $2,195. August 1982 Apple announces that U.S. Customs agents will detain and seize all foreign imitations of the Apple II. November 1982 A new extended warranty program is announced and dubbed AppleCare. AppleFest a showplace for more than 5,000 Apple-related items opens in San Francisco. December 1982 Apple becomes the first personal computer company to reach $1 billion annual sales rate. It throws a "Billion Dollar Party" for employees. Community Affairs office created to award grants to civic groups that deal with issues such as housing, drug abuse, the environment, employment, medical research, the arts, youth and the elderly. Time magazine's "Man of the Year" issue is devoted to "The Year of the Computer." January 1983 Apple IIe computer priced at $1,395 and Lisa computer priced at $9,995 introduced as well as several new peripherals. Apple's European offices and distributors stage major events in 12 cities to launch new products -- London, Paris, Zurich, Munich, Milan, Stockholm, Amsterdam, Helsinki, Brussels, Tel Aviv, Madrid and Dublin. February 1983 Apple University founded to provide employee training programs. April 1983 John Sculley, formerly president of Pepsi-Cola, elected Apple's new president and CEO. May 1983 Apple enters the Fortune 500 at number 411 in under five years. "Kids Can't Wait" program announced. Apple II computers will be given to about 10,000 California schools by September. June 1983 The millionth Apple II rolls off the assembly line and is the first of the computers to be awarded in the "Kids Can't Wait" grant. July 1983 Apple and General Electric Credit Corp. form the Apple Plan. Customers who qualify are given a credit card to finance Apple purchases. September 1983 EVA (Employee Volunteer Action) is created to match the skills of Apple employees with community needs. October 1983 Certified/Registered Apple Developer Program created. November 1983 AppleWorks, an integrated package containing word processing, spreadsheet, and database applications all in one, is introduced and will soon become the world's best selling software. December 1983 Apple III+ computer announced and lists for $2,995. ImageWriter printer introduced and lists for $675. Apple sponsors a nationwide Computer Clubs competition for high school and K-12. January 1984 Apple landmark "1984" commercial which introduces the Macintosh personal computer airs during the SuperBowl broad- cast. This is the only time Apple will run the spot, but over the following weeks it is replayed by dozens of news and talk shows, making "1984" one of the most memorable ads in TV history. Macintosh unveiled at Apple's annual shareholders meeting to be sold for $2,495. Apple inserts a 20-page ad for Macintosh in major magazines and sets new records for readership and recall scores. Apple University Consortium announced. Twenty-four leading colleges and universities agree to conduct major development programs with the Macintosh, and commit $61 million in sales to the project over a three year period. A new factory, designed and built for the ion of Manufacturing Macintosh computers, is opened in Fremont, CA. The facility is one of the nation s most automated plants and uses many Japanese manufacturing methods: robotics, just-in-time materials delivery, a linear assembly line, and an improved quality of life for workers. The 300 and 1200 baud Personal Modems are introduced at $299 and $495. April 1984 Apple IIc, priced at $1,295, introduced at the company's "Apple II Forever" conference in San Francisco. Two thousand dealers place orders on the spot for more than 52,000 units -- an industry record. Development of the Apple III line is discontinued. Scribe printer, priced at $299, is introduced. National Accounts program is announced focusing on large volume purchasers in the Fortune 1000. May 1984 Apple severs its ties with domestic manufacturer representatives saying it will build its own sales force to service the dealer network. Manufacturing facility in Cork, Ireland begins producing Manufacturing custom-language Macintosh computers for Germany, Italy and the United Kingdom. July 1984 Apple is elected to the Consumers Digest Hall of Fame for responsiveness to consumer needs. August 1984 Apple IIc receives the 1984 Industrial Design Excellence Award (IDEA) sponsored by the Industrial Designers Society of America. September 1984 Macintosh 512K introduced at $3,195. October Apple Grants department formed, encompassing Education Affairs and Employee Volunteer Action programs. November 1984 Apple buys every advertising page in a special post-election issue of Newsweek. The issue's final, fold-out ad is used to launch "Test Drive a Macintosh" promotion. About 200,000 people take a Macintosh home for a free 24-hour trial. Advertising Age magazine names "Test Drive" one of the 10 best promotions of the year. Two millionth Apple II sold. January 1985 Super Bowl XIX: Apple covers Stanford Stadium with Apple- embossed seat cushions. Also runs a controversial new commercial, titled, "Lemmings." "The Macintosh Office" campaign is launched at the annual shareholder's meeting. Program stresses the significance of Apple's new LaserWriter printer priced at $6,999 and AppleTalk Personal Network priced at $50. Jobs introduces Apple's goal of connectivity to other personal computers and declares "detente with IBM." Apple and Northern Telecom announce an agreement to network Macintosh computers over telephone lines of digital PBX switches. Lisa officially renamed the Macintosh XL. Apple shows up on magazines best-of-lists for 1984: Sculley is named "Adman of the Year" by Advertising Age; Macintosh is named "Hardware of the Year" by Infoworld; and Jobs and Wozniak are named members of the "Best of the New Generation" by Esquire. Best quarterly sales ever, but dealer inventories remain high after a disappointing holiday season. Amid the celebrations, John Sculley warns that the next few months will be "extremely challenging" for Apple. February 1985 Jobs and Wozniak receive National Technology Medal from President Reagan at the White House. Wozniak resigns to start a new company that will develop products in the home video area. March 1985 Apple and 28 independent developers dominate an issue of the Wall Street Journal with ads promoting "The Macintosh Office." Apple IIe computers are enhanced with four new higher-performance chips. The company s employee count hits all-time high of 5,700. Manufacturing plants close for one week due to excess inventory. April 1985 Apple announces a computer training scholarship program for elementary and secondary school educators. Over 400,000 Apple IIc computers have been sold in the first year of production. Macintosh XL (formerly called Lisa) is dropped from Apple s line. ImageWriter II, HD-20 hard disk and Apple Personal Modem introduced. June 1985 Sculley announces a major reorganization. Work force reduced by 20% (1,200 employees).Operations are restructured along functional lines, not lines. Manufacturing facilities are reduced from six to three plants. Apple launches European University Consortium at Lund University in Sweden. The First quarterly loss in the company's history is reported because of the cost associated with the reorganization. July AppleLink telecommunications network goes into service, connecting Apple employees, dealers, suppliers, developers, and vendors through electronic mail and information libraries. Apple's Office of Special Education is created to identify the computer-related needs of disabled people and assist in the development of responsive programs. August 1985 Apple takes a public stand against South African apartheid by discontinuing its selling activities in South Africa. Apple's Placement Center created to find new jobs for employees laid off in the reorganization closes its doors, after successfully placing 90 percent of those who used its services. September 1985 Steve Jobs resigns to start a new computer company. November 1985 First Lady Nancy Reagan presents an Apple IIe to the College de Leman International in Versoix, Switzerland during the Reagan-Gorbachev summit. Singapore manufacturing plant receives its country's Manufacturing National Productivity Award. Education Advisory Council founded = an opportunity for leading educators to help guide Apple's products and programs for schools. December 1985 Apple buys 14 pages of advertising in USA Today, all of which focus on the Apple IIe and IIc. (1976 through the present will appear in Issue #40. Stay Tuned!) Roundabout! mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave ButtonUp fxWIPE "roundabout_1" ButtonUp ButtonUp roundabout_1 RandY's RumOr RaG fxWIPE "roundabout_2" buttonUp buttonUp roundabout_2 Vaporware fxWIPE "roundabout_3" buttonUp buttonUp roundabout_3 TimeLine of Apple History (part 1) ButtonUp fxWIPE "face" ButtonUp ButtonUp News in yer Face roundabout_3 System fD|D| fD|D| fD|D| Courier fD|D| fD|D| System fD|D| :PRINTLAYOUT tms rmn fD|D| demNews Issue #xxx fD|D| System "reviews_3" "reviews_1" "reviews_2" enterBook enterBook reviews_3 reviews reviews_3 reviews_1 reviews_3 reviews_2 reviews_3 reviews_3 demNews Issue #xx system Courier System System Courier fD|D| ModemNews Issue #39 - May 1992 reviews_3 reviews_2 reviews_3 reviews_3 system buttonUP H?J?J? eviews_1 h `"X$P&H(@*8,0.(0 2 buttonUp buttonUp :PHYSSIZE shareware buttonUP buttonUP buttonUP ModemNews is distributed as Shareware at $3.00 per issue. Please help support Shareware authors everywhere. about buttonUp buttonUp ModemNews Magazine is Copyright 1992 The GreenBird Group 116 Dean Street Suite B Stamford, CT 06902 Voice 203 969.1183 BBS 203 359.2299 Your articles and suggestions are always welcome............ buttonUp buttonUp ModemNews Magazine Issue 39 May 1, 1992 Copyright 1992 the GreenBird Group "hey" buttonUp buttonUp Open a window to a new world with ModemNews Magazine About "about" buttonUp buttonUp about About ModemNews Credits "credits" buttonUp buttonUp credits Credits buttonUP fxWIPE "announcements" buttonUP buttonUP announcements Announcements fxWIPE "news_menu" buttonUp buttonUp news_menu News and Views buttonUP "editorials" buttonUP buttonUP editorials Editor's Corner buttonUP fxWIPE "writers" buttonUP buttonUP writers Writer's Block buttonUP "roundabout" buttonUP buttonUP roundabout Roundabout! buttonUP "reviews" buttonUP buttonUP reviews Reviews buttonUP "newsstand" buttonUP buttonUP newsstand NewsStand News buttonUP "humor" buttonUP buttonUP humor Humor and Fun buttonUP "fillers" buttonUP buttonUP fillers Fillers buttonUP "newsstands" buttonUP buttonUP newsstands NewsStand Listings Shareware "shareware" buttonUp buttonUp shareware Shareware credits buttonUp buttonUp ModemNews Magazine Jeff Green, Publisher Chris Bird, Mac Editor Bob Olafson, DOS Programmer Instructions "instructions" buttonUp buttonUp instructions Instructions How to... "how ..." buttonUp buttonUp how to... How to... "who?" buttonUp buttonUp instructions buttonUP buttonUP buttonUP Click on a title to go to that section. Move your cursor around a page until it becomes a magnifying glass, click, to go to that article. Click on this field to make it go away!!! how to... buttonUp buttonUp ...be published in ModemNews... Send your articles, short stories, shareware, whatever to: ModemNews EXPRESS! BBS 203 359.2299 ButtonUP enterfield ButtonUP enterfield ButtonUP >?v>;? Jeff Green Chris Bird Robert Olafson Roger Bacon Zerro Randall Ainsworth Del Freeman Dorothy Hall Murphy Sewall Patrick Grote Dr. Deja Vu Inge Vabekk and you... PageOne close "announcements" buttonUp buttonUp announcements close "announcements" buttonUp buttonUp announcements Announcements Compact myname tempname charcnt - 2) "bak" linkDLL "tbkfile.dll" INT removeFile(STRING) unlinkDLL " buttonUp buttonUp tbkfile.dll removeFile removeFile tbkfile.dll charcnt tempname myname Compact news_menu News and Views news2 enterfield enterfield Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to tell you a little about myself, my experiences with Lyme Disease and a new service I am starting for Lyme Disease Patients. First I will tell you about my experience with Lyme Disease, then the service. I think I have had Lyme Disease for 20 years. I got lost in the woods when I was a child and was practically infested with ticks. My uncle joked about me having Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever because of the rashes I got and flu like symptoms. After that I had all kinds of neurological problems with three surguries for carpal and tarsal tunnel syndrome. I also experienced continual problems with arthritis in my ankle and shoulder joints, constant bouts of fevers of unknown origin and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I also had a problem with my Lymph glands which caused severe abdominal pain and eventually led to me having my appendix removed because doctors felt I had chronic appendicitis. Finally, in July of '90, I lost my vision due to "optic neuritis". Lots of tests were done to check for MS, Lupus, Viral infection, etc. One of the tests was for Lyme's but it was negative. (I now understand the test for Lyme's is only about 60% accurate.) The doctor put me on I.V. steroids for a week to reduce the swelling in my optic nerves. This did restore my sight for a short time but within a week I was having seizures, lost sensation in my legs and was about as week as a puppy. Back in the hospital for more tests which really didn't find anything conclusive. Evoked potentials showed some kind of problems with my nervous sytem but were non-specific. MRI's showed MS like plaques but 2 spinal taps testing for MS and Lupus proved negative. Finally, in December of 1990, I chanced upon an article about Lyme Disease. I asked my doctor to retest. He was willing . The titers were marginal. He decided to do a test run on antibiotic therapy. It was like a miracle. My sight has improved dramatically and I have enough strength to get on with most daily activities. I still have some bad days. I have been on intravenous antibiotics for about 32 weeks total on and off. I continue to have recurring symptoms and still struggle with TMJ, Carpal Tunnel, Chronic Fatigue, and Migrane headaches. Lucky for me my husband has been very supportive and understanding. He has some trouble with my constant fatigue because he knows how much energy I have on a good day but his anger is directed at my disease not me. If it wasn't for him I don't know how I would have got thru all this. I had a Mediport implanted in July and this is a real help as I can totally take care of my I.V. myself and don't need to rely on a nurse coming to the house. It has increased my independence dramatically. Anyways, I wanted to share my experiences with others. There are several support groups in Michigan but they are all at least 2 hrs drive away and I rarely have the excess energy to make the monthly meeting. I decided to start an Electronic Bulletin Board Systen or BBS to give myself and fellow Lymies the opportunity for access to information 24 hrs a day & 7 days a week so that it will be there when we need it as well as when we have the energy for it. The Lyme Light BBS went online November 1, 1991. It can be accessed with a computer and a Modem at (313)774-5038. (300/1200/2400 baud) Set your communications software for 8 databits, 1 stopbit, No Parity, Echo Off. There are several message bases and a file section where users can exchange thoughts, ideas and information. There is even an area where you can play a game or two and forget about Lyme Disease for a while. If you have any information you would like to see posted on this Bulletin board upload it or send it to me: Anne Bussell The Lyme Light BBS 14413 Hendricks Warren,MI 48089 I am trying to get up to date information which I can display and share with the public. Amberle Stargazer ButtonUp "news2" ButtonUp ButtonUp news2 news3 enterfield enterfield ------------------ Shower name corona australids Date of maximum Mar 16 Rate p/h at maximum Radiant (1950 coord) 16h20m-48d Sky position Norma Velocity km/s Comments barley above horizon ------------------ Shower name camelopardalids Date of maximum Mar 22 Rate p/h at maximum Radiant (1950 coord) 07h50m+68d Sky position Camelopardalis Velocity km/s 7 Comments slowest of all(6.8km/s) ButtonUp "news3" ButtonUp ButtonUp news3 This is the place where you can send us your opinions on just about any item that crosses your mind. We're easy. Feel free to send us your opinions and missives without fear of retribution. Just send them to us as a simple ASCII text file to: ModemNews EXPRESS! BBS 203 359.22999999999999999 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave "news_1" buttonUp buttonUp news_1 And so it goes... "news_3" buttonUp buttonUp news_3 Meteor Showers "news_2" buttonUp buttonUp news_2 The Michaelangelo Fiasco :PHYSSIZE news_menu PageOne humor_1 announcements 1 newsstands fontsstyle "listings" courier enterPage enterPage listings fontsstyle listings courier listings Bourges * Paul's Place 011 33 48 67 09 07 Scotland ~~~~~~~~ <> Glasgow * TASQUE BBS 011 44 355 222 664 Spitfire Canada ~~~~~~ Ontario ------- <> Ingleside * The TRON BBS System (613) 537-8344 9600 Wildcat Quebec ------ <> Greenfield Pk. * The Rip in Time (514) 656-5858 9600 Searchlight Saskatchewan ------------ <> Regina * The Q... (306) 584-2916 LNA v4.0 <> Yorkton * The Caverns (306) 782-2978 14.4 QBBS NewsStand listings that begin with "!" have been put on notice and may not have the current issue available. They will be deleted from this list on May 15th. United States ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alabama ------- <> Andalusia * The Byte House BBS (205) 222-3322 38.4 Spitfire <> Enterprise ! Abacus BBS (205) 393-6312 9600 PC Board Alaska ------ <> Anchor Point * High Mountain Gold (907) 595-1450 Spitfire Arizona ------- <> Sierra Vista * The New Way BBS (602) 459-2412 14.4 QuickBBS * Micro City BBS (602) 458-8457 2400 QuickBBS Arkansas -------- <> Pine Bluff ! Foxfire BBS (501) 534-5390 2400 WWIV California ---------- <> Bakersfield * Dew Drop Inn (805) 322-5587 Wildcat <> Bell Canyon * Dr. B's BBS (818) 887-2308 9600 Wildcat <> Benecia ! Byte out of the Apple (707) 747-0306 9600 FirstClass <> Castro Valley * New User BBS (510) 881-7678 9600 Wildcat <> Claremont * Zone Twixt the Bars (714) 626-1054 2400 RBBS <> Fair Oaks ! Robert's Place BBS (916) 965-1603 9600 SuperBBS <> Los Gatos * Minos BBS (800) 666-3845 14.4 Wildcat <> Los Osos * Nasty Old Lady BBS (805) 528-7341 9600 Wildcat <> Mira Loma * ATTENTION to Details (714) 681-6221 38.4 RyBBS <> Norco * EcTech BBS (714) 780-5175 9600 GAP <> Rancho Cardova * The Dreaming City (916) 362-1901 19.2 Wildcat <> Redwood City * Unlce "D"s Directory (415) 364-3001 2400 QBBS <> Pleasant Hill * No Name Yet Geneology (415) 827-5714 Opus <> Sacarmento * Nuclear Watelands BBS (916) 974-7046 9600 TBBS(?) <> San Carlos * The Micro Foundry (415) 598-0498 Wildcat <> San Diego ! Pacific Rim Info (619) 278-7361 38.4 Wildcat <> Santa Barbara * The Seaside (805) 964-4766 GAP <> San Jose * The Klingon BBS (408) 249-0980 9600 Spitfire <> Santa Rosa ! The Connection BBS (707) 544-4802 2400 Spitfire <> Yucaipa ! The Firehouse (714) 790-0079 2400 Spitfire <> Yucca Valley * Electronic Universe (619) 228-1781 2400 Searchlight Colorado -------- <> Boulder * The Sounding Board (303) 444-7942 <> La Junta * Multi-Media BBS (719) 384-4407 RBBS Connecticut ----------- <> Southington * Reverse Polarity (203) 620-0182 2400 Spitfire <> Stamford * ModemNews EXPRESS! (203) 359-2299 9600 Wildcat Florida ------- <> Lake Worth * Econo^Softs BBS (407) 964-8450 9600 Wildcat <> Longwood * Treasures BBS (407) 831-9130 57.6 PC Board <> Miami * The BatCave BBS (305) 233-0130 9600 RemoteAccess <> North Miami ! Miami Exchange (305) 945-4887 Wildcat <> St. Petersburg ! The Research Center (813) 823-2473 9600 Wildcat <> Tampa * The Godfather (813) 289-3314 9600 PC Board Georgia ------- <> Weresboro * Bufget Files Line (912) 285-5406 19.2 PC Board Illinois -------- <> Carbondale * [Parameters] (618) 549-8448 Wildcat <> Chicago * OverDrive Systems (312) 761-0274 9600 Searchlight <> Elmwood Park * Sun Surf & Serenity (708) 453-6630 2400 Wildcat <> Mt. Vernon ! The ...Engage BBS (618) 244-9565 2400 PC Board <> Murphysboro * The Hard Disk Cafe (618) 684-3990 9600 Wildcat Indiana ------- <> Anderson * The Mail Room BBS (317) 644-5029 9600 Wildcat <> Elkhart * The Beta Connection (219) 293-6465 Wildcat <> Mishawaka * Radio Daze (219) 256-2255 Wildcat NewsStand listings that begin with "!" have been put on notice and may not have the current issue available. They will be deleted from this list on May 15th. Kentucky -------- <> Lexington ! The Firingline BBS (606) 271-1609 Major BBS Louisiana --------- <> Leesville * Wildcat Manor (318) 238-1551 9600 Wildcat <> Natchitoches ! Genesis BBS (318) 352-4488 19.2 PCBoard Maryland -------- <> Chaptico * The General Store (301) 884-5112 14.4 RBBS <> Cumberland * Gandalf's BBS (301) 724-8732 RBBS <> Hollywood ! Hollywood News BBS (301) 373-2150 2400 PC Board <> Owings Mills ! The Breezeway BBS (410) 581-4340 QBBS <> Parkville ! The Wright Place (410) 882-4481 PC Board Massachusettes -------------- <> Lawrence * Star Fleet Command (508) 686-4681 14.4 RemoteAccess <> Oxford * The Oxpatch BBS (508) 987-6182 2400 Wildcat <> Woburn * BitByteBob's BBS (617) 938-8952 9600 WWIV Michigan -------- <> Grand Rapids * City Heat (616) 243-8663 9600 Wildcat <> Grandville ! Crystal Palace (616) 534-7093 Opus <> Iron Mountain * Midnight Caller BBS (906) 774-9947 19.2 Hermes (MAC) <> Mt. Clemens * Boat Town BBS (313) 468-0912 2400 Wildcat <> Southfield * Holiday Magic (313) 552-8605 2400 QBBS * Biz-Net 2000 (313) 559-8604 14.4 VirtualNET <> Warren * The Lyme Light BBS (313) 774-5038 2400 T.A.G. Minnesota --------- <> Good Thunder * Micro Comm Connection (507) 278-3940 2400 Falken <> Merrifield * Merrifield PC BBS (218) 829-6340 9600 GAP Mississippi ----------- <> Columbus * Ranch & Cattle (601) 328-6486 2400 Spitfire Missouri -------- <> Ballwin * Express Shareware (314) 256-0507 19.2 TriTel <> Farmington * Mid America BBS (314) 756-0750 2400 PCBoard <> Springfield * TriStar Information (417) 889-7827 9600 RemoteAccess <> St. Louis * SLACC Stack (314) 367-1903 19.2 Nebraska -------- <> Norfolk * The Kevin BBS (402) 371-1472 38.4 RBBS <> Omaha * Hawg Wild (402) 493-2737 Wildcat New Jersey ---------- <> Harrington Park* The Electronic Pen (201) 767-6337 9600 Mac Mansion <> Kendall Park * Kendall Park PC Board (908) 821-8015 9600 PC Board <> Mercerville * The Tao BBS (609) 587-2672 VBBS-PC <> Millville ! Union Lake BBS (609) 327-5553 PC Board <> Succasunna ! The Odyssey BBS (201) 927-5106 9600 PC Board <> Tenefly * APFL - The BBS (201) 567-6994 Telegard New Mexico ---------- <> Albuquerque * Liberty BBS (505) 839-9369 2400 Tritel <> Flora Vista * Lotta-Bull BBS (505) 334-6483 38.4 Spitfire NewsStand listings that begin with "!" have been put on notice and may not have the current issue available. They will be deleted from this list on May 15th. New York -------- <> Albany * JRComm (518) 377-4524 JRComm <> Corfu * The Open Road (716) 762-9599 9600 Spitfire <> Glen Cove * Star's End (516) 674-4033 9600 RBBS <> Levittown * Utopia BBS (516) 579-7507 9600 Wildcat <> Lindenhurst * ICS BBS (RIME HUB) (516) 226-3727 9600 PC Board <> Massena * Star Tech Systems (315) 769-2716 Spitfire <> Merrick * The PRIDE BBS (516) 785-1557 2400 RBBS <> Melville * The Campus BBS (516) 643-0747 2400 Searchlight <> New Windsor * APFL-2 (914) 565-2407 2400 Telegard North Carolina -------------- <> High Point * Public Safety Officers(919) 476-7747 2400 Wildcat <> Lenoir * The Deacon's Bench (704) 754-7618 2400 Wildcat <> Statesville * The Statesville BBS (704) 873-8482 RBBS <> Wilmington * Wilmington-80 TBBS (919) 763-1850 2400 TBBS <> Winston-Salem * Southern Online Serv. (919) 945-5593 9600 PC Board Ohio ---- <> Coshocton * The Utopia Network BBS(614) 623-8771 2400 <> Cuyahoga Falls * The Falls Connection (216) 929-3067 2400 Wildcat <> Sardinia * Compunet (513) 446-2133 9600 Remote Access <> Troy * CS Industries BBS (513) 339-0383 Wildcat Oklahoma -------- <> Norman * The 49'er BBS (405) 360-4391 Wildcat Oregon ------ <> Beaverton * Microware Dist. BBS (503) 526-2667 9600 Wildcat <> Ontario * The Safe House (503) 881-1733 14.4 FirstClass <> Salem * Drifter's System (503) 363-6420 RBBS Pennsylvania ------------ <> Allentown * Wizard's Retreat (215) 797-9378 9600 Wildcat <> Croydon * Storm Front BBS (215) 788-4662 2400 Wildcat <> Hummelstown * Up and Running (717) 566-2398 RBBS <> Mifflintown * Rural Free Delivery (717) 436-2349 2400 Wildcat <> Monroeton * SOS BBS (717) 364-5375 9600 Wildcat <> Philadelphia * Earl's XT Board (215) 727-8085 2400 Spitfire <> Redding * The Docksider (215) 678-0350 19.2 Wildcat <> Scranton ! SuperBBS of NE PA (717) 342-5186 2400 SuperBBS <> Trevose * Horse Talk BBS (215) 245-7684 9600 Spitfire <> Williamsport * The Forest's End (717) 323-1457 9600 Wildcat South Carolina -------------- <> Myrtle Beach * Terrapin Station (803) 238-5858 2400 Spitfire <> Summerville * The PC Hotline! (803) 851-3334 Wildcat Tennessee --------- <> Lebanon * The Lebanon Link (615) 443-2237 PC Board Texas ----- <> Austin * Modem Addictus Hosp. (512) 443-8941 9600 Wildcat <> Chireno * Almost Heaven (409) 362-2020 14.4 RemoteAccess <> Dallas * J.R.'s Graphics (214) 235-1004 <> San Marcos * Martin's Domain (512) 396-0252 57.6 Wildcat Virginia -------- <> Manassas * The Outpost BBS (703) 257-1583 9600 PC Board <> Staunton * The Laboratorian BBS (703) 887-2409 2400 MajorBBS Washington ---------- <> Kent * Agate Pass Arcade (206) 839-8055 Wildcat <> Walla Walla * MiniStar BBS (509) 529-5888 14.4 PC Board Wisconsin --------- <> Cazenovia * Thunder Mountain (608) 983-2620 9600 Wildcat <> Cedarburg * Phanthom Tollbooth (414) 377-8462 9600 RemoteAccess <> Green Bay * H.O.M.E. BBS (414) 435-5433 Telegard <> Milwaukee * C.A.T.C.H. (414) 761-2582 Wildcat <> Rudolph * Rapid River BBS (715) 435-3855 9600 RBBS <> Sheboygan ! ShadowComm BBS (414) 452-3883 9600 Spitfire <> Stevens Point * The Point (715) 345-1327 9600 Spitfire Wyoming ------- <> Sheridan * S.M.U.G. BBS (307) 674-5540 2400 Wildcat NewsStand listings that begin with "!" have been put on notice and may not have the current issue available. They will be deleted from this list on May 15th.th.th.th.th..h.....th..5th.5th...th.th.th.th.th.th.th.th.th.th.th.th. courier "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One The listings below are updated daily as we hear from each NewsStand. We encourage you to call these BBS's. Tell them you saw them listed in ModemNews! courier newsstands announcements "announcements" enterPage enterPage announcements announcements enterfield enterfield Dear Readers, This is our second issue in this new Asymetrix Toolbook format and quite frankly, we like it. It was easy to put together, looks nice, and even though the response has been slow, we expect some time will need to have passed before it really takes off. We are extremely patient. Our only complaint is that there is a 32K limit to the amount of text we can paste into a field. 64K would serve us better. Moreover we would like to bring you sound and animation in this magazine, but will await the powers that be at Asymetrix to have pity on us and lend us a copy of their Multimedia Toolbook for this purpose. Like I said before, we are patient. We are now using MS Windows v3.1 and Norton Desktop for Windows v2.0 and we are very happy with both. Of course we are getting some new error messages (and a lot more of them!), but is this progress? We'll be loading OS2/2.0 on another machine once IBM decides to send us a copy for our evaluation. We'll use them both and make some decisions in the near future. Our installation of Windows 3.1 went very smoothly, and unlike our install of a prerelease copy of NDW, the newest version of NDW 2.0 was a breeze and worked flawlessly. It surprises me that after the great success of NDW v1.0 Microsoft still has not mastered the desktop interface. We hope that you will enjoy this 39th issue of ModemNews Magazine. We work very hard to bring you a fine product, one that will make you want to come back month after month after month after.............................. "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One Announcements annpop Look here for any important Announcements concerning ModemNews Magazine. Diferent each month Classfied fxWIPE "Classfieds" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp Classfieds Classified Ads fxWIPE "office" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp office Our Offices! Warnings fxWIPE "announcements 1" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp announcements 1 Warnings! announcements news_1 'd(() >F> news1 enterfield enterfield "Where Have All the Bad Guys Gone?" Michael D. Berman With the collapse of the Soviet Union (destined to become the most overused phrase of the year), the question must be raised: Where will the United States turn for an enemy? After all, the USSR had the whole maleficent package: a frightening, dehumanizing ideology, the world's largest, fiercest army, and a network of satellites and puppet governments, all bent on crushing the American Way of Life under their atheistic, hob-nailed heels. The Soviets gave us threatening phrases and malefactors for every generation: from "the missiles of October" to "the evil empire," from Joseph Stalin to Boris Badenov and Natasha. Even their color was sinister. It evoked rivers of blood, eternal hellfire, and that traffic signal you ran and got nailed at. Now, in one fell swoop, all that beautiful wickedness is kaput. Americans need adversaries. What would the Mission Impossible team be without maniacal Third World despots? Or the Republican Party without "welfare recipients"? When Darth Vader bought the farm, this nation wept. And imagine what poor Tom Clancy is going through. How will he measure up to "The Hunt For Red October" and "The Cardinal of the Kremlin" in light of the New World Order? "The Icelandic Scourge" and "At Dawn, Switzerland!" just won't cut it on the bestseller lists. Americans demand more. But all is not lost. There are a host of candidates which might, with the right mix of paranoia, totalitarianism and xenophobia, fill the vacuum of evil that came about when the hammer and sickle rusted away: o The early returns on the Commonwealth of Independent States indicate that one or more of these new nations could supplant the Big Bad Bear. Let us not forget that Uncle Joe Stalin was a Georgian. The chance that one of the former vassal republics might belch forth a new and improved dictator is not beyond the realm of possibility (though, admittedly, it would be difficult to take someone called the "The Terror of Tajikistan" seriously). The smart money's on Ukraine, aka, "The Republic With an Attitude" "Not the Ukraine. Just Ukraine. Actually, Mister Ukraine to you." All Ukraine needs is one madman to claim Finders Keepers privileges with the ICBMs on its soil, and before you know it, Chicken Kiev will be a four-letter word from sea to shining sea. Not that Ukraine is the only former Soviet missile parking lot to worry about. If our Michael Jordan-led Olympic basketball team starts to run up the score against Kyrgyzstan or Uzbekistan in Barcelona, don't stick around for the final buzzer. Just head for the basement and lock the door. The post-game repercussions, mushroom clouds and all, will make the British soccer riots look like a thumbwrestling match. o Even a month ago, the world's terrorist organizations would have been a pretty safe bets as new embodiments of all things nasty. But since Hezbollah and Islamic Jihad have set most of their hostages free, we've lost that hating feeling. However, Algeria, with its recently elected fundamentalist Islamic government, might be a dark horse. We'll have to wait and see. The zealots' ascension is a promising start, but they won't reach the Soviets' heinousness until they burn some American flags, start lopping off limbs for parking violations, and get their hands on some nuclear party favors. o George Steinbrenner, though not a sovereign nation per se, displays qualities similar to those of our favorite Soviet dictators. He has fallen into disfavor and been ousted, but is now making a push to be "rehabilitated" and brought back into the good graces of the proletariat. Furthermore, the abysmal production of the Yankees mirrors that of the Soviet economy. o Germany is a perennial, as well as sentimental, favorite. However, Deutscheland seems satisfied simply conquering the world markets for now, so we can't count on them just yet. But when Braun shavers start pushing Remington Micro-screens off store shelves and into the dustbin of history, a new Anschluss won't be far behind. You read it here first. o Ditto for Japan. Even worse, Tokyo has "The Godzilla Option." These are sad days, now that and John and Jane American have a dearth of bad guys to check under their beds for. It may take a while for the void to be filled. But fear not. Until the next "evil empire" comes along, we can comfort ourselves. After all, we'll always have Nixon to kick around. Copyright 1992, Michael D. Berman ButtonUp "news1" ButtonUp ButtonUp news1 news2 enterfield enterfield Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to tell you a little about myself, my experiences with Lyme Disease and a new service I am starting for Lyme Disease Patients. First I will tell you about my experience with Lyme Disease, then the service. I think I have had Lyme Disease for 20 years. I got lost in the woods when I was a child and was practically infested with ticks. My uncle joked about me having Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever because of the rashes I got and flu like symptoms. After that I had all kinds of neurological problems with three surguries for carpal and tarsal tunnel syndrome. I also experienced continual problems with arthritis in my ankle and shoulder joints, constant bouts of fevers of unknown origin and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I also had a problem with my Lymph glands which caused severe abdominal pain and eventually led to me having my appendix removed because doctors felt I had chronic appendicitis. Finally, in July of '90, I lost my vision due to "optic neuritis". Lots of tests were done to check for MS, Lupus, Viral infection, etc. One of the tests was for Lyme's but it was negative. (I now understand the test for Lyme's is only about 60% accurate.) The doctor put me on I.V. steroids for a week to reduce the swelling in my optic nerves. This did restore my sight for a short time but within a week I was having seizures, lost sensation in my legs and was about as week as a puppy. Back in the hospital for more tests which really didn't find anything conclusive. Evoked potentials showed some kind of problems with my nervous sytem but were non-specific. MRI's showed MS like plaques but 2 spinal taps testing for MS and Lupus proved negative. Finally, in December of 1990, I chanced upon an article about Lyme Disease. I asked my doctor to retest. He was willing . The titers were marginal. He decided to do a test run on antibiotic therapy. It was like a miracle. My sight has improved dramatically and I have enough strength to get on with most daily activities. I still have some bad days. I have been on intravenous antibiotics for about 32 weeks total on and off. I continue to have recurring symptoms and still struggle with TMJ, Carpal Tunnel, Chronic Fatigue, and Migrane headaches. Lucky for me my husband has been very supportive and understanding. He has some trouble with my constant fatigue because he knows how much energy I have on a good day but his anger is directed at my disease not me. If it wasn't for him I don't know how I would have got thru all this. I had a Mediport implanted in July and this is a real help as I can totally take care of my I.V. myself and don't need to rely on a nurse coming to the house. It has increased my independence dramatically. Anyways, I wanted to share my experiences with others. There are several support groups in Michigan but they are all at least 2 hrs drive away and I rarely have the excess energy to make the monthly meeting. I decided to start an Electronic Bulletin Board Systen or BBS to give myself and fellow Lymies the opportunity for access to information 24 hrs a day & 7 days a week so that it will be there when we need it as well as when we have the energy for it. The Lyme Light BBS went online November 1, 1991. It can be accessed with a computer and a Modem at (313)774-5038. (300/1200/2400 baud) Set your communications software for 8 databits, 1 stopbit, No Parity, Echo Off. There are several message bases and a file section where users can exchange thoughts, ideas and information. There is even an area where you can play a game or two and forget about Lyme Disease for a while. If you have any information you would like to see posted on this Bulletin board upload it or send it to me: Anne Bussell The Lyme Light BBS 14413 Hendricks Warren,MI 48089 I am trying to get up to date information which I can display and share with the public. Amberle Stargazer ButtonUp "news2" ButtonUp ButtonUp news2 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One And so it goes..... by Jeff Green In our last issue I talked about the candidates for President of these United States. Since then a great deal has happened in this race that has caused us to sit back and think about the future of America. It seems as though the Republican Party is going to stick behind a Bush/Quayle team again in 1992 and the Democrats are resigned to losing another election with Slick Willy at the head. To make things more interesting H. Ross Perot (a name that should be well known in the computer industry has decided to spend upwards of $100 Million dollars of his OWN money to make a race for the Oval Office a reality. What do I think about these people? I knew you might ask. George Bush > "I want to be your environmental president." Yeah sure George. I guess that goes about being the "education" president and the peace president and the... well, you get the idea. Bill Clinton > Why are the leaders of the Democratic party in this nation taking the only chance they have had in a generation to win the White House and throwing it all away? Beats me... 'nuff said. H. Ross Perot > This guy is a businessman of the highest regard, and just as any other successful business his path must be lined with stepped on and dead bodies galore! talk about skeletons in the closet. He certainly has some valid opinions about getting America to work together again. His words of racial harmony are only offset by his admiration for the tyrannical regime in Singapore, a military/dictatorship that he feels could be a good example to base our fight against crime. Dangerous. But that does not bother me more than his absolute refusal to lay out in detail his plans for the future if he should become President. He deserves to be watched, and as the election heats up I think you will see Mr. Perot drop by the sidelines in fast order. I do not believe that he can withstand the pressures of a situation (the election) over which he has no control, unless he buys the press. After all he certainly can afford to do that. Or unless he gets some good advice, and he can certainly afford that also. That leaves us in a peculiar position. We want to endorse a candidate this early so that we have time to make certain that come November 3rd, our candidate will win the election, and so we have. After looking carefully at all the candidates that are officially in this election (more than 60) we have found one that is the ideal of all good thinking Americans. A candidate that takes responsibility for his own actions. One that is stable in body and mind, and one who has a track record that can only be called exemplary. That candidate is Eric Bird. Eric Bird is our dog. He's a 12 year old Rot mix. He has never growled at another living thing. Loves children, small animals and birds, and has not been known to chase a cat in many years (though he has occasionally been known to go skunk and raccoon hunting from time to time.) talk about stability? Leave him on the couch when you leave for work in the morning and he's still there when you come home that night. That my friends is stability. Eric has a platform that is rather simple. A cookie in every hand and two car rides every weekend. What could be simpler. He believes that we should stop building bombs and teach everyone some simple tricks with all that leftover money. Eric mentioned the other day just how wonderful it would be if everyone would just give everyone else licks and snacks several times a day, and don't forget lots of hugs. What a wonderful world that would be. And frankly, we must agree with him. Of course Eric cannot run alone. His running mate on the ticket would be Fritz Bukowski, our neighbors cat. Eric and Fritz have been close friends for more than 6 years, and in Eric's opinion if a dog and a cat can be friends, why not the rest of us. There are certainly some lessons to be learned here, and we would hope that at every opportunity we hope you would write in Eric Bird and Fritz Bukowski on the ballot at every chance you get, especially on November 3rd. Just think of the advantages. On January 20th the Presidential Inaugural address would be short! Bills sent to him from Congress that he didn't like would be...well, let's just say that they'd just lay around for a while. Those he liked he would eat! Fritz would be the purrfect Vice President. Not much to do in that job and Fritz would spend his time out in the Rose Garden chasing mice and not embarrassing the President with stupid human tricks as our present VP is known so well for. Eric would also be the perfect ambassador. Can't you just imagine foreign Heads of States visiting with Eric and taking pleasant walks at Camp David. And don't forget, Eric LIKES broccoli. What more can we ask Therefore, Eric Bird and Fritz Bukowski are our choice for the White House and we will push for their election during the next few months. It is clear to us that George Bush and Bill Clinton and Ross Perot should all just go on vacation since the simply do not stand a chance against Eric and Fritz. Vote Bird/Bukowski in '92! Jeff Greenn News and Views mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave "news_1" buttonUp buttonUp news_1 And so it goes... "news_3" buttonUp buttonUp news_3 Meteor Showers "news_2" buttonUp buttonUp news_2 The Michelangelo Fiascoo 'd(() B >F> news_1 news_2 News and Views "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One X Michelangelo Fiasco: an historical timeline Copyright 1992 by Rob Rosenberger; all rights reserved. Some quotes obtained from copyrighted stories published by the Associated Press, United Press International, Reuters News Service, and Washington Post. Contact Rob Rosenberger at P.O. Box 643, O'Fallon, IL 62269. This copy printed on 3/18/92. 1/28/92 Newswire reports say Leading Edge shipped up to 500 computers in December with the Michelangelo virus. It apparently came from a third-party subcontractor; an alert customer detected it. 1/28/92 Osicom Technologies announces it will bundle an antivirus package with all personal computers. 1/29/92 UPI reporter Jack Lesar files a newswire saying "the Michelangelo Virus could erase data from hard disks of hundreds of thousands of computers around the world on Michelangelo's birthday, March 6." Winn Schwartau, executive director of the Nashville-based International Partnership Against Computer Terrorism, attributes magical powers to the virus: "`It's usually been a rule that a virus can't be propagated by just reading from a data disk. But in this case it appears to no longer be true,' said Schwartau. `You may consciously just be reviewing data, not moving data, but the virus is hidden and executable and it's doing its thing.'" Interestingly, the report continues: "[John] McAfee said the Michelangelo Virus is the third most common in terms of reports of infection. It accounts for 14 percent of infection reports -- a total of about 6,000 last year. And he notes the figure represents the number of sites at which infection has been reported -- each of which may have one machine, or 100." 2/3/92 Newswire reports say Da Vinci Systems distributed about 900 disks infected with the Michelangelo virus during January. 2/11/92 Reuters reporter Wilson da Silva files the first newswire saying the Michelangelo virus resides on "millions of personal computers around the world." The estimate -- five million worldwide -- comes from John McAfee. In the story, researcher Wayne Boxall of Australia's Computer Virus Information Group erroneously states the virus spreads via computer bulletin boards. 2/13/92 Microcom announces it has released a free program to disinfect the Michelangelo virus. The program also detects (but does not disinfect) 668 other viruses. 2/17/92 Washington Post reporter John Burgess writes a Michelangelo story questioning gigantic estimates and the role of people who made those claims. "It remains unclear whether large numbers of computers contain undetected copies of the virus, though estimates of millions of machines have been published in the news media... Past scares about viruses often have proven to be overblown. "`I'm finding virus catastrophes everywhere,' said Martin Tibor, a data recovery consultant in San Rafael, Calif., whose repeated calls to the media after the Leading Edge incident helped publicize Michelangelo. `These things are replicating like crazy.' "Consultant Tibor conceded that the calls he made to the media about Michelangelo were in part motivated by hopes of bringing business his way -- it in fact brought in only one client, he said. But his main motivation, Tibor said, was to get the word out about a serious computer danger. `I see the victims of viruses all the time,' he said." 2/18/92 Leading Edge announces it will provide free antivirus software with its entire line of computers. "Because of the increasing number of computer virus outbreaks throughout the industry, no one should assume that software they acquire will be free from infection," claims president Albert J. Agbay. 2/19/92 Symantec announces it has released a free program to disinfect the Michelangelo virus. Symantec's software searches for no other viruses (though it pretends to), unlike Microcom's free program which detects 669 different infections. Symantec also purchases a full-page ad in Computerworld's 2/24 issue to warn readers about the virus. 2/21/92 Chris Torchia files an AP newswire describing how Michelangelo "could send millions of computer users around the world through the ceiling." Tori Case, product manager for Central Point Software (a McAfee competitor), claims as many as five million computers worldwide may suffer, including 500,000 in the United States. 2/24/92 The artist Michelangelo would have turned either 516 or 517 years old this March -- newswires no longer agree on his age. 2/24/92 Computer columnist Lawrence Magid offers dangerous advice when he tells readers they can avoid Michelangelo's devastating effects if they activate a computer "on March 5 and leave it running until March 7." Magid claims viruses travel by computer bulletin board, then oddly advises readers to download antivirus software from a bulletin board. 2/28/92 An executive with Fuji's floppy disk division makes the newswires by offering advice on how to detect Michelangelo. 2/28/92 Egghead offers to ship a copy of "the special `Norton AntiVirus Michelangelo Edition' for just $4.99." They also offer to send "a free brochure about computer viruses," but some customers will complain it arrived more than a week after the Michelangelo threat had passed. 3/2/92 John McAfee, after previously claiming five million computers have Michelangelo, appears on the "Today" show and says "there are over a million systems infected now." McAfee doesn't use the word "estimate," though he may have meant to. 3/2/92 Intel Corp. ceases shipment of its LANSpool program after discovering 839 packages carried Michelangelo. "Basically, we were using anti-virus software that could not detect the latest generation of the virus," said spokesman Mark Christensen. Ironically, the company will send a free copy of its $995 LANProtect software to anyone who received an infected LANSpool package. 3/2/92 AP writer Laura Myers files a story authoritatively stating Michelangelo "lies dormant in an estimated 5 million IBM-compatible personal computers worldwide." The story incudes quotes from John McAfee & Martin Tibor. 3/2/92 Computer columnist Lawrence Magid clarifies his advice to leave computers on through March 7 so as to avoid Michelangelo's devastating effects. "This will work in most cases, but if there is a power failure, many personal computers will automatically reboot themselves. Thus, a power failure on March 6 would have the same effect as turning on the computer." 3/2/92 ABC's Ted Koppel devotes a "Nightline" episode to Michelangelo with a lead-in announcement of how it "could be devastating, destroying the memories of millions of computers around the world... I just wanted you to understand I'm coming at [this broadcast] with a wealth of ignorance." John McAfee, Patricia Hoffman, and Martin Tibor contribute to the lead-in story, with Tibor ominously stating "[viruses are] the equivalent of doing germ warfare in your own neighborhood." 3/3/92 A Reuters reporter files another erroneous newswire claiming Michelangelo spreads via computer bulletin boards. 3/3/92 "Good Morning America" science editor Michael Gillan claims "as viruses go, there aren't that many reported incidents [of Michelangelo]...but there is an enormous fear factor." Unfortunately, he advises viewers to leave computers running from March 5 to March 7, following in the dangerous footsteps of computer columnist Lawrence Magid. 3/3/92 Reuters reports Intel stock has dropped $0.50 below its $65.75 close from the day before. "While Intel is to unveil new versions of its most powerful computer chips later today -- the 486 DX2 microprocessor -- dealers said the shares eased on news Intel had ceased shipment of its LANSpool 3.01 print server utility because some units were found to be infected with the `Michelangelo' virus." 3/3/92 Another Reuters report about the Michelangelo virus mistakenly claims "it spreads via computer bulletin boards." 3/3/92 CompuServe's electronic newspaper, Online Today, erroneously reports the Michelangelo virus spreads via online services such as CompuServe. Management will later pull the embarrassing "GO OLT-93" story after receiving complaints from alert readers. 3/3/92 AP writer Laura Myers files a sensationalist story on Michelangelo. Many TV news anchors read the first paragraph verbatim: "Do you know where that floppy disk has been? Taking a page from safe sex manuals, experts are warning computer users to practice safe computing because of viruses like one called Michelangelo, which could trigger millions of computer crashes and erase data on hard disks this week." TV anchors then follow with the authoritative statement: "The virus lies dormant in an estimated 5 million IBM- compatible personal computers worldwide and is poised to strike on Friday, the artist's birthdate." 3/3/92 Reuters reporter Steve James files a newswire from Bonn, Germany with Michelangelo estimates in the tens of millions just for the United States. "Hamburg University computer virus expert Klaus Brunnstein estimates that 15% of all Personal Computers (PCs) in Germany -- around half a million -- are infected and will lose their data banks on Friday. He also said that 30% of PCs in Britain and 25% in the United States [about 15 million] are believed to have been infected by the Michelangelo virus, as a result of pirated computer games and infected original floppy discs." 3/3/92 The AP ominously reports "the Michelangelo computer virus has invaded Capitol Hill, sending congressional staffers scurrying for a cure before Friday's trigger date." 3/3/92 John McAfee appears in the AP daily quotes column: "This is one of the most widespread viruses. It's out there in a large way and could cause lots of damage if it isn't stopped." The quote comes from various newswire stories filed by AP reporter Laura Myers. 3/3/92 A Reuters newswire by David Morgan claims John McAfee receives "about 120 reports [worldwide] of Michelangelo infection a day," prompting some experts to ask how this could justify McAfee's previous estimates of five million. Morgan's story also claims "computer viruses, which first appeared nine years ago, are now growing in number at a rate of about six a day" and that "some experts say the recent proliferation of viruses has much to do with the fall of communism in eastern Europe, specifically Bulgaria." 3/3/92 A Reuters newswire says "Poland's biggest daily [newspaper] carried a front page story headlined `Michelangelo, The Mass Murderer, Will Attack On Friday.'" Later reports will detail panicked efforts by Polish citizens to obtain antivirus software. 3/4/92 Ross Greenberg, the programmer behind Microcom's Virex-PC package, takes an unscheduled four-day vacation. "Nobody [in the mass media] likes to hear somebody say `Make a backup. Type FDISK /MBR. Go away.' Headlines such as `Virus Eats Planet Earth' sell more papers," he will say upon return. 3/4/92 Numerous reporters log onto CompuServe, GEnie, America Online, and Prodigy to ask the same question: "Want to be interviewed for a story on the Michelangelo virus?" One USA Today reporter, expecting an avalanche of calls, asks people not to tie up his phone unless they actually get hurt by the virus on March 6. 3/4/92 The AP shifts its focus on Michelangelo after receiving phone calls from outraged virus experts. Stories now begin to center on the fear sweeping the world rather than the virus. Bart Ziegler files the first AP report with contradictory opinions of the situation: "`You're more likely to spill a cup of coffee on your keyboard than to get this virus,' said Peter Tippett, chairman of Certus International Inc., a maker of anti-virus software. `There's definitely hysteria,' said Marianne Guntow, a computer analyst at the University of Chicago." 3/4/92 Multiple UPI newswires erroneously claim Michelangelo spreads via computer bulletin boards. 3/5/92 Scattered reports from around the globe say Michelangelo triggered a day early due to a fluke in some computers. Their internal clocks ignore leap days and changed to March 1, 1992 a day too soon. 3/5/92 AP reporter Robert Dvorchak files the first major newswire with a lead-off paragraph questioning impending sabotage estimates. "Computer users took precautions to disinfect their machines from a virus set to strike on Michelangelo's birthday Friday, although some experts did not expect widespread damage from the electronic prank." 3/5/92 UPI reporter Joe Fasbinder files a newswire claiming the pending devastation from Michelangelo "is certainly expected to be in the millions of dollars. In addition to the data lost to the virus, millions of dollars in employee time will be needed to re-install damaged software." 3/6/92 V-DAY ARRIVES!? Yet while fear over Michelangelo continues, the major newswires echo similar stories about a fizzled event. Reuters: "As March 6 dawned in Asia, New Zealand reported scattered infections by the virus -- but there was more media hype than electronic havoc." Associated Press: "Personal computer users reported scattered outbreaks today of the Michelangelo virus but no widespread damage from the much-hyped software invader." UPI: "The long-awaited Michelangelo virus struck around the world Friday, though it did not appear to be the data disaster that some had predicted." 3/6/92 A Reuters newswire claims Michelangelo "was unwittingly spread round the world by a single Taiwanese software copying house, Dutch police said on Friday. `Taiwan is the source of the mass distribution of the virus,' police computer fraud expert Loek Weerd told Reuters. `The Taiwanese authorities have not so far given us the name of the software copy house,' Weerd said." 3/6/92 In a freak coincidence, 1,200 automated teller machines in New York shut down due to a power outage. In another freak coincidence, three-fourths of New Jersey's computerized lottery ticket machines shut down because of a computer glitch. Panicked customers incorrectly blame Michelangelo for the problems. 3/6/92 Various UPI newswires finally explain Michelangelo doesn't spread via computer bulletin boards. 3/6/92 Reuters now reports John McAfee "estimated at least 10,000 computers had been hit worldwide" by Michelangelo, in stark contrast to previous Reuters stories where he had estimated five million. Other newswire reports mention McAfee's name while outlining a worldwide "media hype" campaign. 3/6/92 AP reporter Bart Ziegler files a scathing newswire: "The day of techno-doom turned out to be a dud... For days, news media relayed forecasts of impending doom from Michelangelo. The story had all the right elements: a mysterious invader with a sexy name that could cause havoc by a definite deadline in machines relied upon by millions. The reports often failed to mention that many projections of potential damage were provided by companies that make anti-viral software and stood to benefit from the scare. "One source was John McAfee of McAfee Associates, the largest seller of virus-killing programs. McAfee was widely quoted as saying Michelangelo had infected up to 5 million computers worldwide. Asked Friday whether he had overstated the case, he said the low rate of actual Michelangelo damage was due partly to precautions so many PC users took." 3/6/92 Symantec claims over 250,000 users around the world obtained a copy of their free Michelangelo disinfector program. Of the online services, Prodigy and GEnie charged nothing for customers to download special antivirus packages; CompuServe pocketed its regular hourly connect fees for the service. 3/6/92 Michelangelo gets another mention in the AP daily quotes column, this time downplaying the scare -- "`It has been overhyped, without question.' Charles Rutstein, staff researcher for the National Computer Security Association, as computer users braced for a computer virus to strike on Michelangelo's birthday Friday." 3/6/92 But while NCSA's Charles Rutstein may have called Michelangelo "overhyped, without question," he praised it in a public message to one of John McAfee's employees. "It really doesn't matter that much any more [how many had the virus]. I think we can all give McAfee Associates...a round of applause... Regardless of the amount of hype, if it helped to save one critical machine at, say, a hospital, I feel that the hype is justified." 3/6/92 AT&T reports Michelangelo erased data on two -- yes, "two" -- computers. A spokesman claims the company operates about 250,000 IBM PCs around the world. 3/7/92 Another person rationalizes the hype in the AP daily quotes column: "`I'd say we would have had serious problems if we hadn't been so worried by all the hype.' Joe Pujals, California's computer information manager, on the minimal effect the Michelangelo virus had on computers." 3/7/92 All major newswires cease reporting about computer viruses by 6:00am Eastern time. 3/8/92 Microcom's Ross Greenberg returns from his abrupt vacation. 3/8/92 No newswire service files a story about computer viruses. 3/9/92 John McAfee resigns from the National Computer Security Association on the first business day after the Michelangelo media fiasco. Patricia Hoffman also resigns, but only from the Washington branch -- she does not withdraw from NCSA's Pennsylvania branch. NCSA will suppress knowledge of the resignations for more than a week. 3/9/92 No newswire service files a story about computer viruses. 3/10/92 No newswire service files a story about computer viruses. However, Reuters mentions them in passing as part of a story on counterfeit software: "[Microsoft] said buyers of counterfeit software risk the possible consequences of using defective products and contracting software viruses." 3/11/92 Microcom announces it has released an updated version of its free program, this one with ability to disinfect the Maltese Amoeba virus. It also detects (but does not disinfect) 723 other viruses. 3/11/92 No newswire service files a story about computer viruses. 3/12/92 John McAfee fails to appear at the fifth annual Data Processing Management Association conference in New York. DPMA scheduled him several months in advance to speak on the computer virus threat. 3/12/92 No newswire service files a story about computer viruses. 3/13/92 Scheduled activation date for the Friday the 13th virus. No newswire service files a story about computer viruses -- an interesting change considering the media's hype about Friday the 13th in October 1989 and as a footnote to many Michelangelo-related stories. 3/14/92 No newswire service files a story about computer viruses. 3/15/92 Scheduled activation date for the Maltese Amoeba virus. No newswire service files a story about computer viruses -- another interesting change considering the media's hype about Maltese Amoeba as a footnote to many Michelangelo-related stories. 3/16/92 No newswire service files a story about computer viruses. 3/17/92 No newswire service files a story about computer viruses. mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave "news_1" buttonUp buttonUp news_1 And so it goes... "news_3" buttonUp buttonUp news_3 Meteor Showers "news_2" buttonUp buttonUp news_2 The Michelangelo Fiascoo news_3 "pageone" ButtonUp buttonUp buttonUp pageone Return to Page One ------------------ Shower name phi bootids Date of maximum May 1 Rate p/h at maximum Radiant (1950 coord) 16h +51d Sky position NW Hercules Velocity km/s 12 Comments very slow, 1/5hrs. ------------------ Shower name ETA AQUARIDS Date of maximum May 4 Rate p/h at maximum 60 Radiant (1950 coord) 22h20m-1d Sky position near "y" of Aquarius Velocity km/s 66 Comments better for S. hemisphere/ from Halley's C. ------------------ Shower name omicron cetids Date of maximum May 18 Rate p/h at maximum Radiant (1950 coord) 02h17m-3d Sky position near Mira Velocity km/s Comments below horizon, 15/hr ------------------ News and Views mouseEnter mouseLeave mouseEnter mouseLeave "news_1" buttonUp buttonUp news_1 And so it goes... 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